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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to move our family from London to my home town?

187 replies

CoatsforGoats · 14/09/2026 14:19

AIBU to move our family out of London to live in the town I grew up in? 3 children under 5 at the moment, so possibly imagining an easier life where getting the buggy around isn't as much of a daily challenge. We have been thinking about it as a family for a couple of years and feel completely stuck.

Points to note

  • DH job is firmly London so he would be away part of the week (thinking Mon - Wed or Thursday as a pattern)
  • We have a lovely little house in London BUT I am aware of the pollution here, and even walking to the park from our house involves a lot of passing traffic. Middle DC coughs at the fumes and it breaks my heart.
  • The town I am from is nice and interesting (altho I haven't lived there in years) plenty going on in terms of culture and sport, good access to mountains and excellent walking/forest nearby.
  • We would be able to buy a bigger house and have a much bigger garden if we left.
  • We don't really have family here or in the town. Some family are overseas and location doesn't make a huge difference either way.

I guess part of it is that neither of us grew up in London, so that feels like an unknown quantity for us, and we are a bit worried about how a London upbringing might be for older primary aged children and into teen years.

OP posts:
Frombeyond · 16/09/2026 17:25

AlwaysExtraHot · 16/09/2026 09:53

What are ' fancy cultural events'? Hmm
Why don't you think 'average families' enjoy art and culture?
You do know that lots of children love acting/watching plays, looking at and creating art, listening to and making music, etc etc etc, don't you?
Are these things not valuable?
Is it not a good thing if they are available freely or cheaply, and in places where (older) children can get to them on their own on safe and cheap/free public transport?
I feel that these threads always go the same way too, except from where I'm standing it turns into people queuing up to sneer at the idea of people going to a play, and/or making wild claims about knife crime/pollution/desolation in big cities.

I think that these posters don’t have access to the kind of things we do, so they probably don’t know that kids love this sort of stuff and thrive off it. As many of them have said, their lives are work/ supermarket/ home/ park. To me that sounds awful but we are all different.

mcmuffin22 · 16/09/2026 17:49

helpme402 · 14/09/2026 14:45

if you have no family ties to your hometown why not consider another location. One where your DP can commute into london for work so he's not gone for part of the week. I know lots of people who commute from south/essex and different areas in the midlands. Most of the time it's a 45 min journey into king's cross.

I would do this too. If you have no ties to anywhere you could explore everywhere within commutable distance and once you're out of London in most directions you will be in areas with easy access to the countryside. Plenty of commuter towns with brilliant schools too.

matrixes · 16/09/2026 17:59

Frombeyond · 16/09/2026 17:20

What a massively depressing comment!

I am a ‘mum’ who wants most of those things (Brownies? No, Large Supermarket? no I shop online like most people) but I also have a life. Yes, a life of my own! Which involves socialising and going out. Sorry if it shocks you that mums aren’t solely dedicated to ‘mum things.’ Within the last month, I’ve been to a gig, an evening immersive theatre performance and out for dinner/ drinks multiple times.

A lot of us are just time poor though & tired!

Needmorelego · 16/09/2026 18:11

Frombeyond · 16/09/2026 17:20

What a massively depressing comment!

I am a ‘mum’ who wants most of those things (Brownies? No, Large Supermarket? no I shop online like most people) but I also have a life. Yes, a life of my own! Which involves socialising and going out. Sorry if it shocks you that mums aren’t solely dedicated to ‘mum things.’ Within the last month, I’ve been to a gig, an evening immersive theatre performance and out for dinner/ drinks multiple times.

Yes....but do you live in a town?
You can do those in a town too... doesn't have to be in London 😂
So if the OP did move she'll be able to do non-mum things.

Needmorelego · 16/09/2026 18:15

Frombeyond · 16/09/2026 17:25

I think that these posters don’t have access to the kind of things we do, so they probably don’t know that kids love this sort of stuff and thrive off it. As many of them have said, their lives are work/ supermarket/ home/ park. To me that sounds awful but we are all different.

It still amuses me that people on this thread seem to think there's no access to culture outside of London 😂

Spotthetooth · 16/09/2026 18:19

Needmorelego · 16/09/2026 18:11

Yes....but do you live in a town?
You can do those in a town too... doesn't have to be in London 😂
So if the OP did move she'll be able to do non-mum things.

Exactly! And all while raising your children in a safer town and not bankrupting yourself to pay the rent/mortgage!

Timeforachange26 · 16/09/2026 18:33

matrixes · 16/09/2026 17:59

A lot of us are just time poor though & tired!

Or cannot afford it

matrixes · 16/09/2026 18:43

And that!

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 16/09/2026 20:05

I personally prefer big cities. I like that my son who is a teen can get public transport on his own.

I had passes to art galleries and museums when he was younger and we went every week.

We aren’t white and my experiences living in a small town weren’t great.

Timeforachange26 · 16/09/2026 21:16

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 16/09/2026 20:05

I personally prefer big cities. I like that my son who is a teen can get public transport on his own.

I had passes to art galleries and museums when he was younger and we went every week.

We aren’t white and my experiences living in a small town weren’t great.

My kids could get public transport by themselves in our town. Hell they could even get a train into London if they chose

Frombeyond · 16/09/2026 21:48

Needmorelego · 16/09/2026 18:11

Yes....but do you live in a town?
You can do those in a town too... doesn't have to be in London 😂
So if the OP did move she'll be able to do non-mum things.

The poster was saying the op doesn’t need somewhere with culture because she’s a mum. She stated she needed a park, a large supermarket, Brownies and a library. This was my response to that

Needmorelego · 16/09/2026 21:59

Frombeyond · 16/09/2026 21:48

The poster was saying the op doesn’t need somewhere with culture because she’s a mum. She stated she needed a park, a large supermarket, Brownies and a library. This was my response to that

That was me that said that 😂
I was referring to every day ordinary mundane life which takes up a large part of family life and is important.

By the way "Brownies and libraries" are culture too.

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