AIBU to move our family from London to my home town?

DH being away would be the least of my issues: anyone who has to commute to the office, even much closer to central London, is not home until evenings when the kids are at most ready for bed, or even fast asleep anyway.

It's difficult to answer.

I think the only issue with London is the housing cost. London is fantastic with kids, there's always something to do, any day of the week and any month of the year, and everything is easily accessible from there.

It's just as great when they are very little (parks, museums, soft plays etc etc), primary school or teenagers.

The town I am from is nice and interesting (altho I haven't lived there in years) plenty going on in terms of culture and sport, good access to mountains and excellent walking/forest nearby.

Before anything else, I'd book an airBnB and go and spend at least a week there to be honest.

Everything @AlexandraCarrington said. Especially you possibly having rose- tinted glasses of growing up there. It might be quite different now. Also having DH away for a big chunk of the week will affect the family dynamic, and finances (as presumably he'd have to rent something in London?) I'd give that careful consideration as it's not easy way of life for any of you - husband with long tiring commute twice a week, you on your own with small kids, children missing Dad and vice versa. Plus being apart so much could lead to it affecting your marriage as well.

London can be great for older kids. All my friends with secondary age children have said how much easier it is as with good public transport kids don't have to be driven everywhere and have access to a wide variety of hobbies. (Mountains and walking won't be much of a benefit for many teenagers whereas easily seeing mates will be). Plus they will generally have a more diverse group of friends from different backgrounds than many small/mid sized towns. Plus of course once you sell up and move it is very very difficult to change your mind and move back (as one set of friends did as they never settled, despite being closer to family, and moved back at great cost).

It really depends on lots of factors whether this is a good move for you and family and some of it is of course the unknown.

if you have no family ties to your hometown why not consider another location. One where your DP can commute into london for work so he's not gone for part of the week. I know lots of people who commute from south/essex and different areas in the midlands. Most of the time it's a 45 min journey into king's cross.

A lot of london state schools are very good, have better funding than many regional schools. It is not difficult to get them into a decent school outside of a few pockets.
If you are going, go when the kids are young. Teenagers do not adjust well to moving away from london - obviously a generalisation but from what I have witnessed of friends who did. My kids love living in London and I love that they can walk to school and to see friends etc and public transport is brilliant. My friends who moved away spend literally hours a day in the car - school, shopping, play dates, activities etc.
DH being away half the week will take a toll on family life and your relationship. Where in london are you now? Would moving to zone 3/4 help - bigger houses, plenty of green space in some areas.

Im wondering a bit why it’s a qn of hometown or london, and not objectively great town where you and DH agree on your criteria and checklist? Maybe hometown best meets those criteria but there are a lot of great places in the UK
(I actually think London is fab and can’t imagine leaving myself).

Depends on the town. And a long commute will put a strain on your marriage, maybe. But I live in London and brought my children up here. London is a great place for children and teens. It can also help having a base there when they need to find jobs themselves.

I haven't lived there in years

Things to consider -

How often do you go back there? Do you really know what it's like now, or are you just remembering it with nostalgia?

What about schools, public transport, shops - the things that will be important to your dc as they grow up?

Added cost of your dh needing somewhere to live in London - would he stay in a hotel, rent a room in a house, buy studio flat?

Your dh missing out on family life. Would you expect him to make a life for himself when he's in London, with friends, activities etc?

You having to deal with illness etc on your own

Job opportunities for you, if not now, when the dc are older?

Sounds lovely although londons pollution levels are dropping

It depends on the town. We moved out to Cheshire and whilst yes, the kids can do some activities, the niche ones are much harder to find. So football and cricket fine, fencing less easy to facilitate.
School is easier - it's much less pressured than a London hot house. I remember calling the kids school and being amazed that not only could I book after school club on the day but the Headmaster answered himself.
I miss the theatre, meals out. We live close to the Peaks and the Beach. We never go because the kids clubs take over everything.