AIBU to move our family from London to my home town?

I work in a shop that has branches up and down the country, my colleagues who have worked in London have some stories that much I can tell you. Shit that would happen here once in a blue moon is a near daily event there and I do not mean shoplifting I mean robbery and assault.

Not sure what you meant by “type of crime” because obviously stabbing someone is worse than stealing a cheese toastie no?

I'm not sure what you mean by You compare it to other cities in the western world.
But it's not accurate to say 'country Britain is safer to raise kids than city Britain'; London rates are lower for some type of crime than rural areas. And London overall has one of the lower crime rates of regions in the UK.

You compare it to other cities in the western world. We’re not talking about moving to New York or Paris here. I’m just saying country Britain is safer to raise kids than city Britain

Does it have to be either or ,could you buy a house within a reasonable commute, So as to negate having a second property and partner needing to spend part of the week in London

London has a really high crime rate
I refer you to my earlier comment. Or Google.

Unhinged? Over that comment? Really lol.

London has a really high crime rate and there are stabbings constantly, drugs, gangs etc. You can pay even more money to live in an expensive part but that’s still on your doorstep as we saw at the start of summer when a load of thugs went to a posh road in London and looted all the shops.

Not a place I’d raise a kid not sure what’s unhinged about pointing that out

The crime rate in London is lower than in many other parts of the UK. Perhaps you know that and you're just being provocative?
Also, 'London is a dangerous dump' is quite the generalisation, isn't it?

Fgs, you sound a bit unhinged. Yes, housing is expensive and a valid concern, but the OP already owns a house here. But what on earth do you mean by shittest, most dangerous neighbourhoods? Examples? https://www.the-londoner.co.uk/london-is-officially-one-of-the-safest-cities-in-the-western-world/

You bankrupt yourself living in the smallest pod you could afford there. If you want to live in one of the nicer parts you bankrupt yourself twice as much and your child will still be walking distance from the shittest most dangerous neighbourhoods.

You’re also miles from the sea which would personally be a big no for me especially with how hot summers have been lately

London is not a dangerous dump. It’s a fabulous vibrant city with lots to offer. It’s also one of the world’s largest urban forests.

Plenty of reasons to leave London @CoatsforGoatsbut not sure why you’re worried about the kids. Pollution levels have dropped hugely and are still dropping. Plenty of excellent state primary and secondary schools as well. BUT it does depend where you can afford to be. We absolutely adore our corner of South London but can’t afford to buy. Our kids went to a wonderful primary school and are now going to an excellent secondary - both they can walk to. Sadly we will have to leave once they’re grown so we can buy for our retirement but it’s the only reason we will.

Yes but newham and Richmond are still both london. Goes back to what I said about money

I’d say move, get out of London it’s not a great place to raise kids between the crime rate and the fact that you’re paying so much for everything especially your home. I’m raising my children in my home town (although it hasn’t changed much since then and I did have kids super young literally 15 and pregnant) so this would depend on whether it’s still a nice place to live or not. Maybe spend a weekend there and see how you feel.

We have the beach on our doorstep, the countryside on our doorstep and a really nice community here where people know each other. London is a dangerous dump you don’t know what you’re missing out on yet

We moved from London to a nearby commuter town when our DD was born. I found it a bit of an adjustment at first but am really settled now and wouldn’t want to live back in London. For me, though, being near enough to get the train in in under an hour was really important: for work, seeing friends and for things like going to the theatre or exhibitions (not that I/we did/do a lot of that — but it’s nice to know we can!).

The thing that would really give me pause in your shoes is the fact your DH would be away for part of the week every week. I’d be fine with that for a period of time — but permanently? I’m not sure that would be for me. (Nor my DH — and historically he’s worked away from home a lot.) Of course, it might really suit you and your DH, but I’d suggest really thinking about how the setup will look/work in reality. Also what happens if, two years down the line, he gets fed up with living in two places? Or you get fed up with doing everything solo during the week? Will you have a plan b in place?

Well bus travel is now free for teens, so that alone opens up lots of possibilities. And it sounds like the OP and her husband are not being pushed out due to lack of funds and could live in some of the nicer areas. Newham versus say Richmond are very different.

I agree re: depending on the town but would just note our London two form entry primary school has afterschool that can easily be booked on the day and there are definitely schools outside of London that can’t offer that flexibility.

Nothing would be worth my DH living away most of the week tbh

I live London/NK borders, in a London borough. Lots of open spaces, but very easy 20 minute commute to London. Low pollution levels, apparently.

I actually moved to a village in Sussex for 6 years - and couldn’t wait to get back to London.

Too insular, appalling transport, no near entertainment, and too boring and limited for me. 🤷‍♀️

We love the West End and the theatre as a family. There is no way we could replicate that anywhere other than Broadway!

Who is mentioned the country though? That's the point there are town and cities that are not the " country" outside Londob

And I guess the comment about one years one museum comes from now " living in London to know any better" Well I had the misfortune of living in London in my teens and early 20s so I do know what it's like living there. And I still didn't have all these things you mention as pluses on the doorstep. London was nice for the well off who lived in the leafy parts with money to spend. Less so for those in Newham especially in the late 80z/ early 90s

As a teen yeah we could go to the museums" over an hour away in South Kensington" if we had scraped together 60p to get a red bus Rover . Theatre cost money (that we didn't have) in fact very little was free. So unless you have e
money to spend you werent gaining anything living in London

@Coffeewinecake if it was me you are saying was "defensive" I wasn't meaning to be so I am a bit baffled by that 🤷.
The OP didn't say she wants to move to the country - she said a town.
Towns have plenty of activities for teenagers too !

On the other, my friend’s son finds all this too much of a sensory overload so they have moved out of London.

No need to get defensive- clearly some poor reading skills. I never said in that post it was better or worse or that everyone should prefer one over the other.
Howevwr, it is pretty disingenuous or perhaps lack of ever living there to say one museum, one theatre etc is comparable to what London has.

Sure a 3 year old may be happy going to the same play park every day but not me.
It’s nice to wake up one morning and try a different park - Richmond Park, Battersea Park, Kew Gardens, Crystal Palace and many smaller local parks.

Some teens may just be happy with a skate park.
Over the Summer holidays mine went to week long series of music workshops (free), orchestra camp (not free), saw several live music events (classical, African beats - some free, some paid), went to the theatre (not free), open water swimming in our local lake (life guard supervised, free), played tennis, football and basketball (all free or minimal cost), exhibitions (not free) went to markets, cinemas, parks etc all over London, majority independently when not going as a family.

And yes, we have football, skate park, pools, courts and parks (multiple) all within walking distance from us.

However, you don’t need to have all these things within walking distance - transport is easy and very cheap/free for kids and teens.

A lot of focus about moving to the country is about life with young children - babies, toddlers, primary age but the key age, I think, are teens and young adults.

All within a miles walk? I've lived in London ( Manor park and canning Town) and tbh there wasn't all that stuff

And I'm less than an hour by train from London if I felt the need to go there( maybe once every 2 years)

We were in the country in lockdown, we had beaches, we had woods we had open fields, animals. Our children had the most amazing time that I would never ever change.