AIBU to move our family from London to my home town?

Here’s another anecdote for you Another colleague is Indian and she was telling me about the rape epidemic in India did you know statistically it actually has a low number of rapes as a country? Because victims are scared to report.
Could it be the same in London people are scared to report crime because of gang violence and retribution?
Anyway your statistics don’t track with the known reality of london

If you live in Plaistow though and your kids go to eastlea or lister school then you will have a very different view of London on a day to day basis than if you live in Richmond for example

Well your anecdote is not matched by the statistics.

Anyway London is huge. There are going to be hot spots I guess. But I live here, have never been mugged, assaulted, burgled....so there's my anecdote. We need to leave the anecdotes and look at the stats. Do bad things happen here? Yes. But they do in other places too. The point is it's not that bad - we are not talking Memphis or Detroit levels of crime!

This made me think of the videos that went viral earlier this year where hundreds of thugs descended on a posh street in London and looted the shops while posh locals stood around looking gormless and terrified. Even if you really bust the bank to live in a posh bit you are still a five minute walk from a really bad neighbourhood

Maybe so , but still raree in some places than others.

They obviously live in the posh bits of London

You can get your cultural fix in another town. I've lived in both settings and ultimately found London so stressful to negotiate logistically. In the country, you get all the benefits of beautiful landscape, fresh air etc but can also get your activities ' fix' - even going up to London when you feel like it. But the other way round, you get your cultural needs met, yes. but stinking pollution instead of fresh air. I never regretted moving back to the county I grew up in.

This was my experience when I went up to London for some training a couple of years ago and thought I’d found a nice place to sit and eat my lunch. Oh don’t get me wrong small towns have drug addicts too of course but this was another level.

Everyone knows London has a bad problem with gang violence I’m unsure why posters are keen to minimise that

It's kind of hilarious when people go on about towns being "boring" and "nothing to do" because surely you know that people are actually allowed to leave the town limits and visit other places 😂
My ("boring") hometown might not have theatres or lots of museums but it's a 25 minute train journey to the nearest city which has loads of famous museums and a good theatre (two actually I think) that show all the popular touring shows - all about a 5-10 walk from the railway station.
It takes me 25 minutes from my Zone 3 home in London to get into central and then usually another 25 (at least) to get to a theatre or the major museums.
My 18 year old hates going into central as it (quote) "to long to get anywhere and is exhausting".
Unless you live in central all those museums etc aren't exactly in your doorstep. You still have to travel to get to them.
But really for the OP in this case the decision is more about could she happy with only having her husband there half the week.
There's more important than free museums and 3000 parks.

Why are you making up a load of nonsense?
“dusty museums and parks full of drug addicts and gang members while making sure your kids know which streets to avoid so they don’t get stabbed is so exciting” ? That description is nothing like London.

Just go. The country is much nicer.

It’s not so much that it’s my thing that Ive lived here my whole life and never felt particularly bored. Not sure why walking around dusty museums and parks full of drug addicts and gang members while making sure your kids know which streets to avoid so they don’t get stabbed is so exciting and worth busting the bank for.

(you can hop on a train and visit the museums and shrek land or whatever even if you live in a small town)

I feel like I'm in an outer part of London that is the best of both worlds - pollution isn't too bad, links to the centre are great and state schools are good - which makes such a difference especially at secondary - the gap between performance of London secondaries and the rest of the country is huge.

As your kids get older the garden will be less important and other amenities more important.

We have a tiny garden but we're near a big park and a big recreation ground with good facilities including basketball, tennis, cricket and football. And they can get a bus or train to so many places easily, get themselves places which as you have multiple children becomes such a blessing. My eldest rides his bike all over, we've got loads of green space and we're not far from proper countryside - and we both have manageable commutes so can be around for the kids.

That’s great if boredom is your thing. Different strokes for different folks right 🙂

I like boring personally 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’d rather my kids be safe and enjoy their childhoods (not only are they safer they also have a nice house because it dosent cost 3K to live in a pod in my town)
We also live right on the beach so in the summer we’re down there literally every day. I grew up here and was never bored, I know all my neighbours.
My kids are friends with the kids of my childhood friends (apart from my eldest but I was only 16 when I had her).

If London is so great why don’t you move back?

I left London (grew up there so knew it very well) for the south coast and while we have of course.been fine here ..I miss London so much !!! I honestly wouldn't move if I could go back in time.

There is just so. Much more to do in London even compared to busy towns elsewhere

I would never ever risk my marriage by setting my husband up in a second home part of the week

Look around London and find somewhere you like better.

Because being a random victim of violent crime is incredibly rare. In London and elsewhere. It is usually isolated to gang related crime (victims and perpetrators know each other)

I grew up in London and am now raising DC in London, so perhaps I am biased. But I think London is amazing for children and teens: so much to do and so much of it free - plus it’s all easily accessible by public transport.

I’d also hate to waste time I could be spending with family on a longer commute rather than getting home quickly. I definitely wouldn’t be ok being away 2/3 nights every week and surely DC would miss their father?

How do you work out I'm just as likely to be a victim of violent crime at home rather than in London

And when I did life in London I was surrounded by such stuff

Did you read my earlier comment? I work in a shop that has branches up and down the country, my colleagues who have worked in London have some stories that much I can tell you. Shit that would happen here once in a blue moon is a near daily event there and I do not mean shoplifting I mean robbery and assault.

Im not sure I buy your statistics. How much crime in London goes unreported because it’s just part of life and people know there’s no point reporting.

Did you know there are countries where rape is statistically rare not because it doesn’t happen but because victims are scared to report it

But you’re just as likely to be the victim of violent crime in London as you are in your town. (I’m assuming you’re not living in poverty surrounded by gang and drug violence)

So you’re just as safe in vibrant London with its free museums and excellent public transport as you are in your smaller, probably more boring town.

I teresting stats. So London ( inc the posh bits) have an average crime rate of 107- 112 per thousand. The town I live in has an average crime rate of 38 per thousand.

Now look at the gcse results

https://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&source=android-browser&q=gsce+success+by+area#lfId=ChxjMe

Here are the actual stats on London violence compared to the rest of the country. It is hardly a hell hole! https://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&source=android-browser&q=london+crime+rate+versus+uk#lfId=ChxjMe

Sounds like you’re lucky enough to be living in circumstances which shield your DC from the harsher realities of a London childhood (being pressured to join a gang etc)
so I think you’d be insane to give up the many upsides to growing up in London. We moved away and have regretted it every day.

We now live in a middle class, white town where everyone thinks and acts similarly. Boring is an understatement.