AIBU to move our family from London to my home town?

I don't have kids, but I have friends who do/did and still went out in the evenings sometimes, including to art galleries.
But in any case, I was talking in more general terms, joining in the part of the thread that's turned into a wider discussion about towns/cities/rural and their pros and cons.

Thats not a random Tuesday night. And I bet even your " cheap " tickets and sauns would've taken a good portion of say a £50 entertainment budget ( which is what my friend on London has for a month)

The thing is....the OP (who we seem to have scared away) is moving with small children.
She's going to want primary schools, a decent park, a local Brownie pack, a library and a decent size supermarket.
She's not really going to be that interested in art galleries on a Tuesday night.

I never said events don't happen on weeknights elsewhere. That's what happens when you take a partial comment out of context.
Point is (as I keep saying), the variety and quantity of things happening. Sure, other towns and smaller places will have things happening on a weekday night, just not so many weekday nights and not so many across a year.
There simply is more stuff and more of a range in a big city.

Why do you think events don't happen on a Tuesday night out in the towns?
People who live in towns aren't werewolves who have a curfew 😂

Let me assure you I am in no way rich and last weekend I went to the theatre (cheap tickets via Twickets), went for a sauna (everywhere in London and affordable) and went to the Tate Modern. I don't do this every weekend but the idea that you can only enjoy London if you're super rich is just not true.

Yes but you still need to get to central from where you live 😂
I live in Zone 3.

Well, I didn't say theatre.
However, I do have friends who work in theatre and are kind enough to offer me free or discounted tickets sometimes. (another thing I find massively different, and love, in a big city is the range of people you get to know and become friends with).
But also there are, for example, galleries that have late nights, on various nights of the week, with free permanent collections and/or special exhibitions, events, workshops etc.
Cheap or free live music in pubs and small venues.
Outdoor light/art shows in the darker months.
And for special things like a big-name gig or a play somewhere expensive, I save up or look for money-off vouchers. I daresay a lot of people do the same.

You seem to have a chip on your shoulder about housing costs and anyone daring to have more than two ha'pennies to scrape together.

Lol do you really just pop to the theater on a Tuesday night?? I'm amazed how much money and time all you " normal" londoners seem to have ( I certainly didn't when I lived there) as sky high housing costs etc

I still believe it's only a wonderful place for the rich

Bit like hong Kong, I like it there very much but oh the fabulous life you could have there if you were dripping with money

The theatres and public transport hubs are next to each other in central london.

Culture is everywhere, yes, but in a big city there is just more. More quantity and more variety. Something to do on a Tuesday night as well as a Saturday matinee.

We like musicals (seen Rocky Horror 3 times 🤩)
I have a friend who is involved with a theatre that does interesting alternative type stuff....in his little Midlands town.
My home town has a small community theatre. They do a lot of things like open-mike stand up comedy.
A relative in a different small Midlands town performed in a professional panto (with a semi-celeb as the star).
This is my whole point....you do not have to live in London to access "culture".
It's everywhere.

Tbf you get a very limited type of culture at the Richmond and Wimbledon theatres. My nephew is a drama student and this isn't the sort of thing he is interested in - he is watching more experimental stuff in Shoreditch. And I suspect it would be harder to find that in most towns.

I don't live in a town.
I am from a town originally but now live in London.
I have lost track of the conversation somewhere but I think what I was trying to say is many people (on Mumsnet it seems) say that living in "a town" must be sooooo awful because there's no culture and living in London is better because it's all on your doorstep.
But it isn't really.
As I said it takes 25 minutes from our zone 3 stop to get to central London and that's just too the railway station. To get to a theatre or wherever is another journey.
Even if we go to one of the regional theatres (ie Wimbledon, Richmond etc) where we are means it can be a hour on public transport to get there.
However.....(are you still following?) my hometown is a 25 minute train ride to a nearby city. Then a 5/10 minutes walk to a theatre - which is a regional touring one that shows exactly the same shows that are shown in Wimbledon or Bromley or Richmond.
Exactly the same !!
So why is it better to raise children in London vs a random town when (shock horror) London isn't the only place with culture?
Sorry.... that's a bit rambling.

You didn’t mention your daughter was neurodivergent in previous original post. I had already caveated all this previously.

Of course Richmond is in London. I don’t think anyone who knows London is only talking about zone 1. That’s why many are suggesting to OP that even moving to zone 3 or 4 can make a big difference and be the best of both worlds. Even moving to a different part of zone 2 can have the same effect.

No idea which town you live in so can’t comment.

I said look at the stats to show that London is not as dangerous as some posters are making out. I didn't expect anyone to think the figures would be comparable with whatever provincial town you live in. Being one of the world's major cities, of course it will have more crime - but given all that, the crime rates are not so huge. They are lower than eg greater Manchester. And it varies by LA to LA. My LA has a rate 23% lower than the London average.

So this 'known reality of london' is not your know reality?

Schools - that’s the main thing

A mid - point could be to move to somewhere like Finchley or Maze Hill - so easy to get back into town but more suburban for the kids? Or a nice commuter town? (Though these can be quite boring because everything is focused around London). I wouldn’t have hubs away for part of the week, that will impact the closeness of your relationship and make it hard for you to get back into work/change job.

This was something that I considered when moving away. I came to the conclusion that despite both me and DH having parents who lived in a commuter town near London, we’d neither of us ever gone back home to live or made use of that fact, so it would be an odd thing to base the decision of where to live as a family on.

I grew up in Somerset in a lovely quiet village, lots of green fields, beautiful scenery and I loved it until I got to my teens and then was bored stupid. I got up to much worse than my kids ever do. London isn't perfect, but where is? There were defintely drugs and teens we knew not to go near within a couple of miles of where I was but I think that's everywhere in the UK. My best friend lives in the Cotswolds and her kids are always at illegal raves doing god knows what (much more in line with what I did growing up ;). Not saying none of this happens in London (or anywhere in Uk) but not worth discounting staying here because of that.

Also, very aware it doesn't need to be country or city, lots of brilliant small towns and smaller cities to think about.

Much like those who would never move to London, I would now never want to want to move anywhere else, but that doesn't mean it's right for everyone.

Oh I DID say raising not raised anyway

I had my eldest at 16 I’m in my mid/late twenties now. Still maybe I should of said “raising” not raised, sure.

There are hundreds of seaside towns and only one London. I know you’ll say London has loads of nice parts but I’m hundreds of miles from Blackpool and someone living in nice Clapham Common is only a couple of miles from a really rough part of London.

Earlier this year loads of thugs stormed Clapham Common and looted all the shops

OP, I was you many years ago, I lived in Stoke Newington and loved it but after a couple more children we needed to move, I have family in SW England, and I love it there but decided it wasn't quite right to us, so I moved to SE London in Zone 3 (which at that time had overground and felt like the middle of nowhere) with the agreement if that didn't work we'd move to SW. I won't say it was instant because it took a while to get used to it, but I love it now and my children have both had great educations, experiences, friends and my son is now at an amazing 6th form (in North London). I did used to worry about all the things you mentioned but I am so glad we stuck around. Might be worth mentioning my son is asthmatic and we've never had any problems with the pollution.

You’re only in your 20s. How can you have “raised” your children at all? And many seaside towns are notorious for being druggy, deprived landscapes with low educational standards and aspirations, to equal some of your hyperbole.