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Original poster

Unhappy that husband wants to go on lads long weekend right after being away for work

85 replies

Slumberqueeen · 14/09/2026 12:28

Hi,

Am I being unreasonable about not being keen on my husband going away for the October bank holiday for a lads weekend.

I would normally not have an issue at all but he travels for work a lot and he will be gone for nearly a week just beforehand. So it's timing of them being so close to together that's the issue.

The work trip has been in the diary for months but the lads only decided to book the holiday last week. He'll be back on the Wednesday from the work trip and wants to fly out again on the Friday.

It's tough going minding our high energy 4 year old by myself especially for a long weekend. Our family will be away (they don't live locally either) so it'll just be me. Also the clocks are due to go back that weekend too so fun times 🥴

OP posts:
Bridang · 14/09/2026 12:55

Can you book a cinema trip on Saturday and Sunday so you have something structured in the diary. Then add in seeing friends. Keep busy and have plans.

Original poster
Slumberqueeen · 14/09/2026 12:50

MagicUser1 · 14/09/2026 12:44

I wouldn't be super excited about this either when my DC were that age, but it does rather feel like just bad luck on timing.

The bigger question is how is this managed and what is his attitude? Eg he just annoucnes it and you're supposed to get on with things and when he comes back he doesn't step up and he certainly doesn't appreciate you facilitating - bad.

On the other hand, i fhe's grateful, offers some thoughts on how he can make it up to you in terms of time off for you or things he can do with DS before/after etc, and is asking for your opinion and acknowledgeing the impat on you, then I'd be inclined to say fine, he can go. (But clearly then you and him need to figure out how to make it as little impact on you as possible)

Ya he doesn't see it as a big deal and wouldn't do anything extra before he goes away. He is good when he's here with our son taking him out doing stuff , gets up early on a weekend with him etc however all life admin for our son I take care of.

If it falls on a weekend if I'm away (v rarely) he goes down and visits his parents with him.

That's the other thing, he'll be tired from the work trip and be home late on the Wednesday evening and fly out early on the Friday.

I know when he's back then on the bank holiday Monday he'll be fit for nothing after a long weekend of hardly any sleep and drinking.

OP posts:
Original poster
Slumberqueeen · 14/09/2026 12:46

The lads booked it and told him that's when they are going so he just mentioned he wants to go.

It's just the thought of minding our 4 year old solo for the bones of a week and half. He's an only child so there is zero downtime when he's awake. A full day or two max over a weekend is manageable and during the week is fine as I'm working and he's in nursery. The thoughts of a 3 day long weekend fills me with dread. 😔

I already parent solo a lot as he travels for work a lot but it mostly falls on week days and only the odd weekend.

OP posts:
MagicUser1 · 14/09/2026 12:44

I wouldn't be super excited about this either when my DC were that age, but it does rather feel like just bad luck on timing.

The bigger question is how is this managed and what is his attitude? Eg he just annoucnes it and you're supposed to get on with things and when he comes back he doesn't step up and he certainly doesn't appreciate you facilitating - bad.

On the other hand, i fhe's grateful, offers some thoughts on how he can make it up to you in terms of time off for you or things he can do with DS before/after etc, and is asking for your opinion and acknowledgeing the impat on you, then I'd be inclined to say fine, he can go. (But clearly then you and him need to figure out how to make it as little impact on you as possible)

CurlewKate · 14/09/2026 12:37

Did you discuss it or did he just announce it?

Ablondiebutagoody · 14/09/2026 12:34

Slightly annoying that they are so close together but no big deal.

Avocadotoasted · 14/09/2026 12:31

Thats fine as long as the following weekend is yours to do as you please - assuming its not a hugely regular occurrence, I think its ok

Maeve0098 · 14/09/2026 12:31

Bad timing I guess if he’s also been away for work, but is this a regular thing? Or just something once a year?

Do you get equal time to go out with friends/alone time etc?

dreamingofgoodhair · 14/09/2026 12:31

Are you in the UK ? There isn’t a bank holiday in October ? I wouldn’t be over the moon about it but if it’s a one off I wouldn’t mind. The issue is will / do you get the same amount of time off ?

beefthief · 14/09/2026 12:30

What's the specific objection here?

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