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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to challenge a school mum for involving the children?

113 replies

TumbleLeaf10 · 14/09/2026 12:28

I will preface by saying I’m the most un-confrontational person.

Having breakfast yesterday DD5 says to me:
”Daisy” told me at school on Friday that “Daisy’s” mummy doesn’t like you.

This girls mum is stony faced, never says good morning and ignores me on the playground. I tried to make friends a couple of months ago as she got very close with another mum friend of mine, the three of us have hung out a few times- I thought we were at least friendly with each other. I’ve never done anything to upset her.

Honestly I’d like to confront her about it- I’m not at all bothered she doesn’t like me. But the fact bringing the kids into it doesn’t sit right with me. By all means don’t like me but don’t bitch about me to/in ear shot of your daughter. Also it’s not exactly how I envisioned having the hard conversation with a 5 year old that not everyone you will meet in life will be your friend or kind about you.

I’d just say something like:
DD5 had told me that you’ve said to Daisy that you don’t like me. This is fine, I have no problems and I’m sorry if I’ve ever done anything to upset you. But what I don’t appreciate is getting the children involved as it’s not fair on them.

I will well and truly have to put my big girl pants on to do this as I don’t like confrontation, especially with people I don’t really know. But I feel I have to stand up for what is right.

What doesn’t really help is that the girls are in Year one at the moment, there is only 4 girls in the class of 9 and we live in a small village so don’t want there to be any bad blood.

Thoughts please?! 🙏

OP posts:
MsSquiz · 15/09/2026 20:23

Maybe Daisy heard her mum talking about someone with the same name as you or maybe she overheard her talking about you, who knows. But I honestly wouldn’t bother to say anything.

what other people say about you is really none of your business

beeble347 · 15/09/2026 20:27

Don't, she didn't even necessarily try and involve her child, "Daisy" may have just overheard a conversation with a friend or something. Ignore and be the bigger person (sorry about it as well, no explaining some people)

seven201 · 15/09/2026 20:27

You are jumping the gun. They’re five - they make up all sorts at that age. One of them has probably got the wrong end of the stick. Leave it, carry on being friendly and see how it goes.

theneighbourgotmycake · 15/09/2026 22:15

Lobelia123 · 15/09/2026 11:25

Oh my goodness OP this is your chance to have a HUGE amount of fun with this. I realise I am the pettiest of the petty, but knowing that this woman disliked me so much with so little apparent reason would inspire me to be out there visibly smiling, laughing, glowing and living my best life. Let her seethe and marinate in her own poison. Just be your own fabulous self, but magnified by a hundred and get under her skin even more! Im sure you are pretty wonderful and thats what gets up her nose LOL

you will end up looking drunk or completely unhinge.

FringedAnd · 15/09/2026 22:23

You plan on ‘confronting’ another parent based on something a five year old told you another five year old said about something someone said about you?

Shinyandnew1 · 15/09/2026 23:04

She hasn’t involved the children at all though, has she?

Daisy might have overheard them say it-she’s allowed to not like you and is allowed to tell her husband/partner/friend this.

Daisy might have made it up

muggart · 15/09/2026 23:08

no way would i trust two 5 year olds to have got the details if this right. I have a 5 year old girl who says all sorts of crap.

WhatTheHellsGoingOn · 16/09/2026 02:46

I’m in a similar situation where a mum clearly doesn’t like me in my child’s class. The few times I’ve spoken to her she’s been polite and weirdly was quite friendly at a party earlier in the year, but before and since she’s looked at me with disdain or pointedly avoided eye contact on the school run. It’s unfortunate bc she runs a club I’d like my child to attend but says they’re ‘on the waiting list’. I’m not holding my breath they’ll ever make it off the waiting list tbh.

SuddenlyBecoming · 16/09/2026 03:40

The reason you are in the playground is your child. Remember that when coming up with emotional thoughts about other parents. Don't affect their next five years by involving yourself with random parents. Move on doesn't matter

Gossipisgood · 16/09/2026 09:56

You say you're not bothered that she doesn't like you but if you say something to her it looks like you are totally bothered. Don't say anything as you'll look childish. She's not really involving the kids, she may have said something to her DD but that's up to her what she discusses with her child. If her DD repeats things to your DD just tell her to ignore her & say that not everyone has to like everyone else & that's fine & leave it there.

Moveoverdarlin · 16/09/2026 16:34

You will sound deranged if you bring this up. But I would be wary of this woman.

Hildegard25 · 16/09/2026 19:56

Pootles34 · 14/09/2026 12:41

Kids in year one make all kinds of shit up. Daisy's mum may have said nothing of the sort.

THIS.

SomersetBrie · 16/09/2026 20:14

When DS was 5, his best friend told him that he had started smoking. Said he took his mum's cigarettes out of her bag and smoked them out his bedroom window.
I knew the mum quite well, knew she didn't smoke, and his bedroom window faced out onto the street. Lovely little boy but some of his stories were astonishing!

I'd let this one go, OP!

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