Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to challenge a school mum for involving the children?

113 replies

TumbleLeaf10 · 14/09/2026 12:28

I will preface by saying I’m the most un-confrontational person.

Having breakfast yesterday DD5 says to me:
”Daisy” told me at school on Friday that “Daisy’s” mummy doesn’t like you.

This girls mum is stony faced, never says good morning and ignores me on the playground. I tried to make friends a couple of months ago as she got very close with another mum friend of mine, the three of us have hung out a few times- I thought we were at least friendly with each other. I’ve never done anything to upset her.

Honestly I’d like to confront her about it- I’m not at all bothered she doesn’t like me. But the fact bringing the kids into it doesn’t sit right with me. By all means don’t like me but don’t bitch about me to/in ear shot of your daughter. Also it’s not exactly how I envisioned having the hard conversation with a 5 year old that not everyone you will meet in life will be your friend or kind about you.

I’d just say something like:
DD5 had told me that you’ve said to Daisy that you don’t like me. This is fine, I have no problems and I’m sorry if I’ve ever done anything to upset you. But what I don’t appreciate is getting the children involved as it’s not fair on them.

I will well and truly have to put my big girl pants on to do this as I don’t like confrontation, especially with people I don’t really know. But I feel I have to stand up for what is right.

What doesn’t really help is that the girls are in Year one at the moment, there is only 4 girls in the class of 9 and we live in a small village so don’t want there to be any bad blood.

Thoughts please?! 🙏

OP posts:
qamvbm · 14/09/2026 12:45

Don’t confront her. Just avoid her or be civil if you can’t. Nothing good can come of it.

Crunchymum · 14/09/2026 12:45

You absolutely cannot challenge or confront anyone about something relayed by two 5 year olds.

Viviennemary · 14/09/2026 12:42

You will look completely nuts if you confront her. You have no idea why the child said this. She may have overheard somethng and even misunderstood.

crazymommaclub · 14/09/2026 12:42

This info is third hand via two 5year olds, I’m sure things have been a little lost in translation a long the way. I certainly wouldnt be raising it with her mum. Just say to your DD that, it’s ok and sometimes in life not everyone wants to be friends and that’s ok. Then next time you see the mum, just wave and say hi.

wifty · 14/09/2026 12:42

Luddite26 · 14/09/2026 12:33

I would take a deep breath. It's not great that your classes are so small.
But I would just let it go for now. You don't want to look foolish. Sounds like this is true but you can't do anything so put less effort in yourself and be your usual nice self to everyone else. It will probably come up at some point and I would say yes I've heard from DD you don't like me. Just leave it hanging.💐

Think this is the best way to handle it, OP x

EllaPaella · 14/09/2026 12:42

I wouldn’t say anything. The daughter could be making it all up to upset your daughter anyway.
Don’t make any drama, just stick to bare minimum, polite but not over friendly conversation in future. She doesn’t sound particularly like good friend material anyway if she’s stony faced and ignores you.

MagicUser1 · 14/09/2026 12:41

say nothing. You are hearing this at least 3rd hand. Who KNOWS what was actually said, or how, or when or by whom. Continue to act as normal and carry on.

if you are goign to start taking 3rd hand information from 5 year olds as gospel truth you are in for a long road of unhappiness.

Pootles34 · 14/09/2026 12:41

Kids in year one make all kinds of shit up. Daisy's mum may have said nothing of the sort.

ZippyPeer · 14/09/2026 12:41

Children misunderstand things all the time. Both Daisy and your daughter are very unreliable witnesses, proceeding as if you trust them will make you seem a bit crazy tbh

ToKittyornottoKitty · 14/09/2026 12:39

Let it go. It’s not worth the bad blood and it’s unlikely she intended for her daughter to hear this info.

Ablondiebutagoody · 14/09/2026 12:37

Let it go. None of your business what she talks to her daughter about. You will look nuts. Avoid the drama.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 14/09/2026 12:36

Don’t say anything. It will escalate into the classroom as she over shares with her child.
As they say it is none of our business what other people like to think about us.
Just be cool with her going forward.

Luddite26 · 14/09/2026 12:33

I would take a deep breath. It's not great that your classes are so small.
But I would just let it go for now. You don't want to look foolish. Sounds like this is true but you can't do anything so put less effort in yourself and be your usual nice self to everyone else. It will probably come up at some point and I would say yes I've heard from DD you don't like me. Just leave it hanging.💐