AIBU to challenge a school mum for involving the children?

When DS was 5, his best friend told him that he had started smoking. Said he took his mum's cigarettes out of her bag and smoked them out his bedroom window.
I knew the mum quite well, knew she didn't smoke, and his bedroom window faced out onto the street. Lovely little boy but some of his stories were astonishing!

I'd let this one go, OP!

THIS.

You will sound deranged if you bring this up. But I would be wary of this woman.

You say you're not bothered that she doesn't like you but if you say something to her it looks like you are totally bothered. Don't say anything as you'll look childish. She's not really involving the kids, she may have said something to her DD but that's up to her what she discusses with her child. If her DD repeats things to your DD just tell her to ignore her & say that not everyone has to like everyone else & that's fine & leave it there.

The reason you are in the playground is your child. Remember that when coming up with emotional thoughts about other parents. Don't affect their next five years by involving yourself with random parents. Move on doesn't matter

I’m in a similar situation where a mum clearly doesn’t like me in my child’s class. The few times I’ve spoken to her she’s been polite and weirdly was quite friendly at a party earlier in the year, but before and since she’s looked at me with disdain or pointedly avoided eye contact on the school run. It’s unfortunate bc she runs a club I’d like my child to attend but says they’re ‘on the waiting list’. I’m not holding my breath they’ll ever make it off the waiting list tbh.

no way would i trust two 5 year olds to have got the details if this right. I have a 5 year old girl who says all sorts of crap.

She hasn’t involved the children at all though, has she?

Daisy might have overheard them say it-she’s allowed to not like you and is allowed to tell her husband/partner/friend this.

Daisy might have made it up

You plan on ‘confronting’ another parent based on something a five year old told you another five year old said about something someone said about you?

you will end up looking drunk or completely unhinge.

You are jumping the gun. They’re five - they make up all sorts at that age. One of them has probably got the wrong end of the stick. Leave it, carry on being friendly and see how it goes.

Don't, she didn't even necessarily try and involve her child, "Daisy" may have just overheard a conversation with a friend or something. Ignore and be the bigger person (sorry about it as well, no explaining some people)

Maybe Daisy heard her mum talking about someone with the same name as you or maybe she overheard her talking about you, who knows. But I honestly wouldn’t bother to say anything.

what other people say about you is really none of your business

I can guarantee there would be more bad blood for challenging her

Say nothing OP, the other lesson here is teaching kids not to gossip /repeat things that could be hurtful/untrue etc

Oh my goodness OP this is your chance to have a HUGE amount of fun with this. I realise I am the pettiest of the petty, but knowing that this woman disliked me so much with so little apparent reason would inspire me to be out there visibly smiling, laughing, glowing and living my best life. Let her seethe and marinate in her own poison. Just be your own fabulous self, but magnified by a hundred and get under her skin even more! Im sure you are pretty wonderful and thats what gets up her nose LOL

@TumbleLeaf10 will be so confrontational in real life I suspect. Terrifyingly so! This school is going to see some awful behaviour from this one over the next 6 years I imagine.

Don't be silly. Kids that age say all kinds of nonsense, who knows what the mum actually said? Who knows what Daisy actually said or meant, for that matter. No evidence at all that she 'got the kids involved'.

(FWIW, I am going to absolutely rue the day my kid starts gossiping and inadvertently throwing me under the bus. Just a matter of time, quite frankly..... 😅)

This!

Brush it off, give your child an age appropriate answer and move the conversation in a different direction. There are far more important things in life.

Nothing to be gained by bringing it up. Just explain as planned to your daughter (but don't make a big to-do about it), then go on as you normally would. There may be a misunderstanding. Maybe Daisy overheard her mother when she thought Daisy was asleep or out of earshot. Maybe Daisy's mother is a horrible person who gossips and says bad things directly to Daisy. Either way, bringing it up can do no good. If you want to avoid drama, let it go.

My then-5yo told a teacher than she had a baby brother. Reader, she had nothing of the sort.

In the words of Anna (or Elsa?) LET IT GO.

Honestly ignore it, definitely don't mention it to the mum given there is such a small pool of parents..she might be having a bad day/week whatever, may not have actually said this (kid got the wrong end of the stick or plain lord maybe)

Be polite and crack on with life. Don't create drama unnecessarily

I can't even count the people I know for sure don't like me, never mind the ones I'd suspect... Why care? Do you like yourself? That's all that matters.

There are four possible futures here. 1) You and the Mum never hit it off and politely ignore each other 2) you get to know each other over time and can spend polite time together 3) you get to know each other over time and become friendly 4) war

If you confront this Mum... For what? Having an opinion? Sharing an opinion? Not checking a door was shut when she shared an opinion?... you are choosing outcome 4.

I have a school mum friend who I never imagined would even acknowledge me when I first met her. She wouldn't even look at me. We still meet up for coffee and our children are 19. She was just socially awkward. The friendly bunch turned out to be quite superficial and happy to be 'nice' but weren't actually all that nice!

Play the long game. Ignore it. Don't change your behaviour. Be friendly but don't invest. Time will tell.