Page 14 | AIBU to expect the birthday cake booking date changed without extra charge?

JavSurge · 2026-09-14T10:38:33+00:00

We had to cancel DD's birthday party the day before due to her having S&D. We'd have gone through with it if it was a runny nose but not S&D, as much for our guests as well as her. Anyway, most of the vendors (hall, entertainment etc) have honoured bookings in changing the date without charge given the circumstances. As for the cake, she wants to charge us again. Now, for context, she had not finished the cake, had not started icing or decorating it. What's more, once I informed her the party couldn't go ahead, she said she'd pop the sponge in the freezer to be used for another time. Now we have a new date arranged I have contacted her (2 days later) and asked if the sponge will last (Google says it will) until the party in a couple of weeks and if she's available to decorate it and deliver it on that date. She's come back saying she didn't freeze it in the end and instead gave it to her neighbour, and now expects us to pay again for a new cake?! If she'd iced it and it was ready to go then I would completely understand. However, given that it's just a change of date, am I being unreasonable to have expected her to just to use the sponge for us, or even used the sponge for another customer and then made it fresh. Either way to me seems reasonable as she'd not be using extra resources or time. I can of course understand she might have got an extra customer (money) on the later date but it wouldn't have caused her extra costs. Am I being being completely unreasonable? If the cake was decorated I'd have never asked her to redo the whole thing for free but given that she said she was freezing the sponge surely it would be reasonable for her to do it free of charge (or a nominal fee if anything extra is needed)?

Original poster

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 14:10

PinkyFlamingo · 15/09/2026 12:13

Bit the fact your child is sick has nothing to do with the business and owners can have their own conditions surely?

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I guess most businesses are flexible. Driving lessons, nail appointments etc all have been rebooked when one of my DC have been poorly - in fact both of those were last week when we explained on the day that our child was sick. They value customer loyalty.

A lot of people on this thread have made snide comments that I don't support small businesses.
I am the kind of person who sticks by businessess for years.

When our window cleaner was injured and couldn't do anyone's windows for three months he wouldn't have got paid because he's self-employed. We paid him regardless, it would never have occurred to me to not pay him and for his family to have no earnings for 12 weeks. If I'd had the ruthless attitude of some of you then I'd have said I'm not paying because my windows aren't being cleaned.

That's just how people are where I live. Same reason all the other suppliers have moved everything free of charge, no question, no debate. I think some of you would pass out at the thought of not penny pinching.

OP posts:

Original poster

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 14:15

arethereanyleftatall · 14/09/2026 20:42

I’ve asked chat gpt for help explaining it because I’m giving up. Here’s a screen shot.

So glad you wasted all those resources by turning to AI. I'm sure the irony of that is lost on you.
People really are getting thicker with technology.

OP posts:

nomas · 15/09/2026 14:19

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 12:07

Yes this is how I'll be viewing it. She has offered me my deposit (50%) if I'd rather that.

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That's something at least.

Sunbringer · 15/09/2026 14:51

maudelovesharold · 14/09/2026 20:24

This type of job is time reliant - you need a cake ready at X so they need to make it at Y. This is their job. They have allocated eg 3pm to 4pm on Monday, I’ll be making a cake for Sandra. You can’t just cancel and expect them to just suck up that hour that they’ll no longer make any money in.

But the cake was made and usable, if it had been frozen, as promised. The making of the cake hadn’t been cancelled. The cake had been made in the time slot allocated to making the cake and been paid for!
You may want to argue that the time allocated to decorating the cake is now an empty slot, but she can utilise another empty slot in the future. So swapping one empty slot for another - no loss.

And if she needs her freezer space for other things while Op decides when she wants to actually have the party what then?

DedododoDedadada · 15/09/2026 14:57

I think if you do agree for her to make the cake rather than taking the deposit bank, I would all get to send the terms and conditions along with the booking confirmation.

arethereanyleftatall · 15/09/2026 15:36

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 14:10

I guess most businesses are flexible. Driving lessons, nail appointments etc all have been rebooked when one of my DC have been poorly - in fact both of those were last week when we explained on the day that our child was sick. They value customer loyalty.

A lot of people on this thread have made snide comments that I don't support small businesses.
I am the kind of person who sticks by businessess for years.

When our window cleaner was injured and couldn't do anyone's windows for three months he wouldn't have got paid because he's self-employed. We paid him regardless, it would never have occurred to me to not pay him and for his family to have no earnings for 12 weeks. If I'd had the ruthless attitude of some of you then I'd have said I'm not paying because my windows aren't being cleaned.

That's just how people are where I live. Same reason all the other suppliers have moved everything free of charge, no question, no debate. I think some of you would pass out at the thought of not penny pinching.

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This is so contradictory, but fascinating. So you expect (presumably self employed otherwise they weren’t like for like to mention) drive lessons, nail appointments, and cake makers to lose money if your child is sick. But for your window cleaner you did the exact opposite, and you lost out. That’s interesting. Why did you not want the window cleaner to lose money if it’s not his fault, but thought the cake maker should? Is it a male/female thing for you? You’ve also completely mixed up with the ruthless/penny pinching comment - as I think you’re aiming that towards those of us who think you shouldn’t shit on small businesses, and are thus the exact opposite. The whole Yabu of this thread is that it is you who is penny pinching from the cake maker.

Askandyforcompo · 15/09/2026 16:20

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 14:10

I guess most businesses are flexible. Driving lessons, nail appointments etc all have been rebooked when one of my DC have been poorly - in fact both of those were last week when we explained on the day that our child was sick. They value customer loyalty.

A lot of people on this thread have made snide comments that I don't support small businesses.
I am the kind of person who sticks by businessess for years.

When our window cleaner was injured and couldn't do anyone's windows for three months he wouldn't have got paid because he's self-employed. We paid him regardless, it would never have occurred to me to not pay him and for his family to have no earnings for 12 weeks. If I'd had the ruthless attitude of some of you then I'd have said I'm not paying because my windows aren't being cleaned.

That's just how people are where I live. Same reason all the other suppliers have moved everything free of charge, no question, no debate. I think some of you would pass out at the thought of not penny pinching.

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That's contradictory. Using your window cleaner analogy you should be paying the cake maker as she is self employed and didn't get paid for the time she had set aside for you to make the cake.

You are right, people are getting 'thicker'.

Evergreenz · 15/09/2026 16:43

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 11:45

I know you'll have all had a bad night's sleep not knowing, so I'm pleased to share she has come back to me.

She is charging 50%. I think if I'd have received the sponge cake that would be fair but as it stands but I'm not so sure. I had thought she was freezing it for next time and it's left a bitter taste that she's charged me for a product I've not had.
I think it's fair in as much as her time and the time scheduled, but I feel a bit sad that I'll have to shell out more money. I think I'll have to consider it before I make a decision. I'm sure when I'm not so sad about the party being cancelled that it'll seem great.

The whole giving away the cake is so odd but I'll just have to see it as one of those silly stories that we'll laugh about.

OP, I just want to thank you for coming back and letting us know what happened. Most people don't bother and I'm left wondering forever. Respect!

maudelovesharold · 15/09/2026 16:44

Sunbringer · 15/09/2026 14:51

And if she needs her freezer space for other things while Op decides when she wants to actually have the party what then?

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It was a single sponge, not a multi-tiered wedding cake. Why would she have said to the op in the first place she was going to put the cake in the freezer, if her freezer was so rammed that she wasn’t going to be able to fit it in? Most people know how full their freezer is.

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 15/09/2026 16:48

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 14:10

I guess most businesses are flexible. Driving lessons, nail appointments etc all have been rebooked when one of my DC have been poorly - in fact both of those were last week when we explained on the day that our child was sick. They value customer loyalty.

A lot of people on this thread have made snide comments that I don't support small businesses.
I am the kind of person who sticks by businessess for years.

When our window cleaner was injured and couldn't do anyone's windows for three months he wouldn't have got paid because he's self-employed. We paid him regardless, it would never have occurred to me to not pay him and for his family to have no earnings for 12 weeks. If I'd had the ruthless attitude of some of you then I'd have said I'm not paying because my windows aren't being cleaned.

That's just how people are where I live. Same reason all the other suppliers have moved everything free of charge, no question, no debate. I think some of you would pass out at the thought of not penny pinching.

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You seem very very confused.

MCF86 · 15/09/2026 18:04

Of course you should pay, it was too short notice for her to take another booking.

WiddlinDiddlin · 15/09/2026 18:13

I think I'd take the refund and run - and next time check T's and C's as this cakemaker clearly think she can charge pro prices but not deliver a pro service.

She SHOULD have clarified if you were wanting to postpone or cancel, and given you the options (keep the cake to a later date by freezing, deliver cake as is for you to decorate yourself later, etc etc).

It isn't unusual that customers do not communicate clearly - but the business dealing with each customer SHOULD and by offering to freeze and then giving it away, she has failed massively.

BambinaCucina · 15/09/2026 18:22

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 11:45

She didn't provide me with a contract and to be honest if it had been anything else I would have asked for T&C's but these tend to be over social media, local recommendations, type of arrangement.
In theory she wouldn't be using any extra time as she hadn't started the decorating, and the sponge cake didn't need to be wasted, could have been sold on or reused for the new date.

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Sponge aside: You didn't just book the time that she actually used; you booked time that she couldn't then use on anyone else. So I can see that argument.

Cakes aren't cheap, I'd be devastated to have to pay twice. But it's not her fault that your child was ill; why should she be down a days wages?

However, totally agree that she should have given the sponge to you, if she wasn't going to freeze it.

Redragtoabull · 15/09/2026 18:32

This is someone's career and time. No you shouldn't be getting a freebie and yes you should pay again, but she should have given you the sponge rather than someone else.

budgiegirl · 15/09/2026 18:39

I think offering you 50% back is actually very generous. I used to be a professional cake maker (recently retired), and under my T&Cs, final payment for celebration cakes had to be made 1 month before the date of delivery, and no refunds would be given in the event of cancellation. I did this because I was unlikely to get another order at short notice, but I regularly turned away orders as I was often fully booked.

That said, on the one occasion someone did cancel, I did refund the delivery charge and the cost of any ingredients that could be used at a future date. But that was done as a gesture of goodwill. I also offered to complete the cake for the required date so the customer could do with it what they wanted, but they turned this offer down.

A couple of times I did move the date of the cake, but this was done before the 1 month payment, and was only if I could fit it in with other orders. During covid I went out of my way to move wedding cake orders - some by as much as 3 years! - as it seemed like the right thing to do.

I think where your cake maker has gone wrong is to not have clear T&Cs, and to suggest freezing the cake, so I can see that this may have given the impression she could use it for your future date. But having said that, she's giving you a 50% refund on your order, whether or not you go on to order a new cake with her. I think that's more than fair, and in these circumstances, it really doesn't matter what she did with the original cake.

MsSquiz · 15/09/2026 18:40

Sunbringer · 15/09/2026 14:51

And if she needs her freezer space for other things while Op decides when she wants to actually have the party what then?

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Then she should have offered the cake back to the OP since she had paid in full for it!!

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 15/09/2026 18:56

ChocolateApples · 14/09/2026 11:51

I think the issue is she'd blocked out the time to decorate, possibly turning down an opportunity for different work. I agree it's awkward where there aren't clear Ts&Cs to set expectations.

I think in your place I'd say well we've done pretty well with the other vendors not charging extra so the party as a whole we are doing okay.

👆🏻 this and other posts form cake makers nail it. She is a business, self employed and bases her income on her bookings. You booked and she blocked the time out for making and decorating the cake accordingly and, due to short notice, wasn’t able to resell that time. She may also have been limited on space available for storage which has to be factored in to the bookings that follow which is what did t allow her to freeze the sponge in the long run.

Yourcatisnotsorry · 15/09/2026 18:56

You booked her time which she now can’t fill with paid work at such short notice. Yes there will be a little saving on the ingredients so I think it fair to charge slightly less than double the original quote. I make my own kids birthday cakes and don’t scrimp on ingredients but they are a tiny fraction of the true cost, maybe £10 or so.

bananaobama · 15/09/2026 19:59

You could argue that had you known, you would have taken cake 1 given that you had paid for it

the baker should have been clear

MsSquiz · 15/09/2026 20:25

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 15/09/2026 18:56

👆🏻 this and other posts form cake makers nail it. She is a business, self employed and bases her income on her bookings. You booked and she blocked the time out for making and decorating the cake accordingly and, due to short notice, wasn’t able to resell that time. She may also have been limited on space available for storage which has to be factored in to the bookings that follow which is what did t allow her to freeze the sponge in the long run.

Edited

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There is no reason the cake maker couldn’t have offered to give the OP the cake she had already baked and was going to be decorating that evening.

essentially the OP had paid for an item that she hasn’t received and not only that, but it’s now been given away to someone else. That’s theft!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/09/2026 20:27

MsSquiz · 15/09/2026 20:25

There is no reason the cake maker couldn’t have offered to give the OP the cake she had already baked and was going to be decorating that evening.

essentially the OP had paid for an item that she hasn’t received and not only that, but it’s now been given away to someone else. That’s theft!

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The baker has offered OP 50% of the money back though, and considering OP cancelled the day before when the baker had already spent her time on this cake, that just is not theft.

MsSquiz · 15/09/2026 20:31

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/09/2026 20:27

The baker has offered OP 50% of the money back though, and considering OP cancelled the day before when the baker had already spent her time on this cake, that just is not theft.

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I didn’t say the follow up was theft. I said allowing one person to pay for an item, not deliver it and give it to someone is theft.

I have also suggested the OP considers it as she paid 50% for the first cake that she never received and 100% for the new cake that she will receive fully baked and decorated - but maybe you missed that

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/09/2026 21:01

MsSquiz · 15/09/2026 20:31

I didn’t say the follow up was theft. I said allowing one person to pay for an item, not deliver it and give it to someone is theft.

I have also suggested the OP considers it as she paid 50% for the first cake that she never received and 100% for the new cake that she will receive fully baked and decorated - but maybe you missed that

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Why would I go back and read your entire posting history on the thread? I was responding to the post you just did, where you said it was theft, and that was in response to someone else who also posted after the follow up from OP 🤷‍♀️ you said it was theft before knowing what the baker was going to charge though, and you are still saying it after, so I was pointing out it is not theft.

MsSquiz · 15/09/2026 21:05

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/09/2026 21:01

Why would I go back and read your entire posting history on the thread? I was responding to the post you just did, where you said it was theft, and that was in response to someone else who also posted after the follow up from OP 🤷‍♀️ you said it was theft before knowing what the baker was going to charge though, and you are still saying it after, so I was pointing out it is not theft.

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Are you always this aggressive? I simply said “maybe you missed it” not that you should read every post!

yes, I still stand by my point that by giving away an item someone has paid for to someone else is theft, because that is true.

the fact that the cake maker has now offered to make a second cake does not negate that first situation.

Maddy70 · 15/09/2026 22:19

She had made the cake , bought the perishable ingredients. Used her time and turned down other orders to fulfill yours. Of course you should pay