Page 5 | AIBU to expect the birthday cake booking date changed without extra charge?

JavSurge · 2026-09-14T10:38:33+00:00

We had to cancel DD's birthday party the day before due to her having S&D. We'd have gone through with it if it was a runny nose but not S&D, as much for our guests as well as her. Anyway, most of the vendors (hall, entertainment etc) have honoured bookings in changing the date without charge given the circumstances. As for the cake, she wants to charge us again. Now, for context, she had not finished the cake, had not started icing or decorating it. What's more, once I informed her the party couldn't go ahead, she said she'd pop the sponge in the freezer to be used for another time. Now we have a new date arranged I have contacted her (2 days later) and asked if the sponge will last (Google says it will) until the party in a couple of weeks and if she's available to decorate it and deliver it on that date. She's come back saying she didn't freeze it in the end and instead gave it to her neighbour, and now expects us to pay again for a new cake?! If she'd iced it and it was ready to go then I would completely understand. However, given that it's just a change of date, am I being unreasonable to have expected her to just to use the sponge for us, or even used the sponge for another customer and then made it fresh. Either way to me seems reasonable as she'd not be using extra resources or time. I can of course understand she might have got an extra customer (money) on the later date but it wouldn't have caused her extra costs. Am I being being completely unreasonable? If the cake was decorated I'd have never asked her to redo the whole thing for free but given that she said she was freezing the sponge surely it would be reasonable for her to do it free of charge (or a nominal fee if anything extra is needed)?

maudelovesharold · 15/09/2026 16:44

Sunbringer · 15/09/2026 14:51

And if she needs her freezer space for other things while Op decides when she wants to actually have the party what then?

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It was a single sponge, not a multi-tiered wedding cake. Why would she have said to the op in the first place she was going to put the cake in the freezer, if her freezer was so rammed that she wasn’t going to be able to fit it in? Most people know how full their freezer is.

Evergreenz · 15/09/2026 16:43

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 11:45

I know you'll have all had a bad night's sleep not knowing, so I'm pleased to share she has come back to me.

She is charging 50%. I think if I'd have received the sponge cake that would be fair but as it stands but I'm not so sure. I had thought she was freezing it for next time and it's left a bitter taste that she's charged me for a product I've not had.
I think it's fair in as much as her time and the time scheduled, but I feel a bit sad that I'll have to shell out more money. I think I'll have to consider it before I make a decision. I'm sure when I'm not so sad about the party being cancelled that it'll seem great.

The whole giving away the cake is so odd but I'll just have to see it as one of those silly stories that we'll laugh about.

OP, I just want to thank you for coming back and letting us know what happened. Most people don't bother and I'm left wondering forever. Respect!

Askandyforcompo · 15/09/2026 16:20

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 14:10

I guess most businesses are flexible. Driving lessons, nail appointments etc all have been rebooked when one of my DC have been poorly - in fact both of those were last week when we explained on the day that our child was sick. They value customer loyalty.

A lot of people on this thread have made snide comments that I don't support small businesses.
I am the kind of person who sticks by businessess for years.

When our window cleaner was injured and couldn't do anyone's windows for three months he wouldn't have got paid because he's self-employed. We paid him regardless, it would never have occurred to me to not pay him and for his family to have no earnings for 12 weeks. If I'd had the ruthless attitude of some of you then I'd have said I'm not paying because my windows aren't being cleaned.

That's just how people are where I live. Same reason all the other suppliers have moved everything free of charge, no question, no debate. I think some of you would pass out at the thought of not penny pinching.

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That's contradictory. Using your window cleaner analogy you should be paying the cake maker as she is self employed and didn't get paid for the time she had set aside for you to make the cake.

You are right, people are getting 'thicker'.

arethereanyleftatall · 15/09/2026 15:36

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 14:10

I guess most businesses are flexible. Driving lessons, nail appointments etc all have been rebooked when one of my DC have been poorly - in fact both of those were last week when we explained on the day that our child was sick. They value customer loyalty.

A lot of people on this thread have made snide comments that I don't support small businesses.
I am the kind of person who sticks by businessess for years.

When our window cleaner was injured and couldn't do anyone's windows for three months he wouldn't have got paid because he's self-employed. We paid him regardless, it would never have occurred to me to not pay him and for his family to have no earnings for 12 weeks. If I'd had the ruthless attitude of some of you then I'd have said I'm not paying because my windows aren't being cleaned.

That's just how people are where I live. Same reason all the other suppliers have moved everything free of charge, no question, no debate. I think some of you would pass out at the thought of not penny pinching.

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This is so contradictory, but fascinating. So you expect (presumably self employed otherwise they weren’t like for like to mention) drive lessons, nail appointments, and cake makers to lose money if your child is sick. But for your window cleaner you did the exact opposite, and you lost out. That’s interesting. Why did you not want the window cleaner to lose money if it’s not his fault, but thought the cake maker should? Is it a male/female thing for you? You’ve also completely mixed up with the ruthless/penny pinching comment - as I think you’re aiming that towards those of us who think you shouldn’t shit on small businesses, and are thus the exact opposite. The whole Yabu of this thread is that it is you who is penny pinching from the cake maker.

DedododoDedadada · 15/09/2026 14:57

I think if you do agree for her to make the cake rather than taking the deposit bank, I would all get to send the terms and conditions along with the booking confirmation.

Sunbringer · 15/09/2026 14:51

maudelovesharold · 14/09/2026 20:24

This type of job is time reliant - you need a cake ready at X so they need to make it at Y. This is their job. They have allocated eg 3pm to 4pm on Monday, I’ll be making a cake for Sandra. You can’t just cancel and expect them to just suck up that hour that they’ll no longer make any money in.

But the cake was made and usable, if it had been frozen, as promised. The making of the cake hadn’t been cancelled. The cake had been made in the time slot allocated to making the cake and been paid for!
You may want to argue that the time allocated to decorating the cake is now an empty slot, but she can utilise another empty slot in the future. So swapping one empty slot for another - no loss.

And if she needs her freezer space for other things while Op decides when she wants to actually have the party what then?

nomas · 15/09/2026 14:19

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 12:07

Yes this is how I'll be viewing it. She has offered me my deposit (50%) if I'd rather that.

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That's something at least.

Original poster

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 14:15

arethereanyleftatall · 14/09/2026 20:42

I’ve asked chat gpt for help explaining it because I’m giving up. Here’s a screen shot.

So glad you wasted all those resources by turning to AI. I'm sure the irony of that is lost on you.
People really are getting thicker with technology.

OP posts:

Original poster

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 14:10

PinkyFlamingo · 15/09/2026 12:13

Bit the fact your child is sick has nothing to do with the business and owners can have their own conditions surely?

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I guess most businesses are flexible. Driving lessons, nail appointments etc all have been rebooked when one of my DC have been poorly - in fact both of those were last week when we explained on the day that our child was sick. They value customer loyalty.

A lot of people on this thread have made snide comments that I don't support small businesses.
I am the kind of person who sticks by businessess for years.

When our window cleaner was injured and couldn't do anyone's windows for three months he wouldn't have got paid because he's self-employed. We paid him regardless, it would never have occurred to me to not pay him and for his family to have no earnings for 12 weeks. If I'd had the ruthless attitude of some of you then I'd have said I'm not paying because my windows aren't being cleaned.

That's just how people are where I live. Same reason all the other suppliers have moved everything free of charge, no question, no debate. I think some of you would pass out at the thought of not penny pinching.

OP posts:

SomersetBrie · 15/09/2026 14:01

Another who would take the deposit back and never use her again.
Just get a different cake.
Loads of cake makers about, just try someone else.

Ewock · 15/09/2026 12:26

I would take the deposit back and never use her again. She gave away the cake she made. So will now get £300 for two cakes, one of which was only the sponge as nothing else was done.
I would not be happy to pay her more and honestly I'd have no trust. You paid for that cake so it should have been yours. Yes she paid for ingredients and time, but it wouldn't be that much for a plain sponge.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/09/2026 12:16

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 12:07

Yes this is how I'll be viewing it. She has offered me my deposit (50%) if I'd rather that.

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Although actually if she’s saying she will give you £100 back if you don’t use her, I’d take the £100 and go somewhere else

Ethelspagetti · 15/09/2026 12:15

Think I’d rather have a partial refund and never use her again!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/09/2026 12:14

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 11:45

I know you'll have all had a bad night's sleep not knowing, so I'm pleased to share she has come back to me.

She is charging 50%. I think if I'd have received the sponge cake that would be fair but as it stands but I'm not so sure. I had thought she was freezing it for next time and it's left a bitter taste that she's charged me for a product I've not had.
I think it's fair in as much as her time and the time scheduled, but I feel a bit sad that I'll have to shell out more money. I think I'll have to consider it before I make a decision. I'm sure when I'm not so sad about the party being cancelled that it'll seem great.

The whole giving away the cake is so odd but I'll just have to see it as one of those silly stories that we'll laugh about.

I’d ask her to drop it to 40%, because she gave your cake away rather than freezing it as discussed, and her time of baking that cake wasn’t likely to be £100. I think 50% would have been fairer if she hadn’t literally just given your cake away

PinkyFlamingo · 15/09/2026 12:13

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 19:49

Except in a lot of those examples they would absolutely allow you to rearrange free of charge because of a sick child.

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Bit the fact your child is sick has nothing to do with the business and owners can have their own conditions surely?

Original poster

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 12:10

arethereanyleftatall · 15/09/2026 11:59

So it’ll cost you £300.

I’ve just googled the average split costs of a £200 cake and it came out as £120 labour, £40 ingredients, £40 overheads.

so, she’s put in £120x 2 plus £40 plus £40.

thats £320 (plus a bit more if any ingredients spoiled, plus she’s had to do extra admin)

objectively, she’s being generous here.

also, to say no is to cut off your nose to spite your face. You’ve so far paid £200 and received nothing. You can now pay £100 to receive a cake worth £200.

It would not be cutting off my nose to spit my face. It would be whether we can afford it. There's the potential of having a 50% refund with which I could buy a reasonably nice cake with, but without as much detailed decorations etc.
At least I have a few options.

OP posts:

Original poster

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 12:07

MsSquiz · 15/09/2026 11:57

I would see it as you paid 50% for the original cake (her time to make it, not taking on another job, etc) and paying full price for a whole new cake from start to finish.

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Yes this is how I'll be viewing it. She has offered me my deposit (50%) if I'd rather that.

OP posts:

arethereanyleftatall · 15/09/2026 11:59

So it’ll cost you £300.

I’ve just googled the average split costs of a £200 cake and it came out as £120 labour, £40 ingredients, £40 overheads.

so, she’s put in £120x 2 plus £40 plus £40.

thats £320 (plus a bit more if any ingredients spoiled, plus she’s had to do extra admin)

objectively, she’s being generous here.

also, to say no is to cut off your nose to spite your face. You’ve so far paid £200 and received nothing. You can now pay £100 to receive a cake worth £200.

MsSquiz · 15/09/2026 11:57

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 11:45

I know you'll have all had a bad night's sleep not knowing, so I'm pleased to share she has come back to me.

She is charging 50%. I think if I'd have received the sponge cake that would be fair but as it stands but I'm not so sure. I had thought she was freezing it for next time and it's left a bitter taste that she's charged me for a product I've not had.
I think it's fair in as much as her time and the time scheduled, but I feel a bit sad that I'll have to shell out more money. I think I'll have to consider it before I make a decision. I'm sure when I'm not so sad about the party being cancelled that it'll seem great.

The whole giving away the cake is so odd but I'll just have to see it as one of those silly stories that we'll laugh about.

I would see it as you paid 50% for the original cake (her time to make it, not taking on another job, etc) and paying full price for a whole new cake from start to finish.

Original poster

JavSurge · 15/09/2026 11:45

I know you'll have all had a bad night's sleep not knowing, so I'm pleased to share she has come back to me.

She is charging 50%. I think if I'd have received the sponge cake that would be fair but as it stands but I'm not so sure. I had thought she was freezing it for next time and it's left a bitter taste that she's charged me for a product I've not had.
I think it's fair in as much as her time and the time scheduled, but I feel a bit sad that I'll have to shell out more money. I think I'll have to consider it before I make a decision. I'm sure when I'm not so sad about the party being cancelled that it'll seem great.

The whole giving away the cake is so odd but I'll just have to see it as one of those silly stories that we'll laugh about.

OP posts:

Moonnstarz · 15/09/2026 07:31

tirednhn · 15/09/2026 02:19

You cancelled the service you paid for.
You cancelled the goods you paid for.
You didn't mention rescheduling the cake.
You didn't ask for the baked cake.

To her, you've said no longer required.

You're being unreasonable. Annoying yes as your head would have been all over the place but you weren't explicit. She's also running a business and would take what you say at face value.

Edited

But the cake maker also said she would freeze the cake. That to the OP implied she was saving it for her.
As I have said it's poor communication on both sides. OP could have said she needed to cancel but would be rebooking once a new date was confirmed. The cake maker could have been clearer that the cake had been made, she initially thought she could freeze it but then couldn't so would the OP be able to collect or she could still deliver considering that had been paid for.
The cake had not been decorated so I do feel that when a new cake is booked this should factor in e.g. OP paid £200 but cake was only baked so cost £120, so £80 credit towards a new one including free delivery.
However I do think the fact she gave OPs cake away without asking means a bigger discount should be given as technically OP had paid for the cake and I expect would have taken it if she knew it was just going to be given away!

MsSquiz · 15/09/2026 06:55

tirednhn · 15/09/2026 02:19

You cancelled the service you paid for.
You cancelled the goods you paid for.
You didn't mention rescheduling the cake.
You didn't ask for the baked cake.

To her, you've said no longer required.

You're being unreasonable. Annoying yes as your head would have been all over the place but you weren't explicit. She's also running a business and would take what you say at face value.

Edited

The cake maker should have still delivered the cake the OP has paid in full for! Not given it away to someone else!

tirednhn · 15/09/2026 02:19

You cancelled the service you paid for.
You cancelled the goods you paid for.
You didn't mention rescheduling the cake.
You didn't ask for the baked cake.

To her, you've said no longer required.

You're being unreasonable. Annoying yes as your head would have been all over the place but you weren't explicit. She's also running a business and would take what you say at face value.

holidayhelpneeded1 · 14/09/2026 23:17

cantthinkofagoodusername2026 · 14/09/2026 22:31

It's not just the cake, it's her time. She would have blocked out time for your cake, which means she would have had to say no to other people. I think she's being very generous in not charging you for the full amount regardless.

What do you mean she is being generous? As far as I have read she has been charged full price and had no cake at all? The only thing that isnt clear yet is if the replacement case is expected to be full price but im failing to see any generosity here at being charged full price and having her cake given away?

cantthinkofagoodusername2026 · 14/09/2026 22:31

It's not just the cake, it's her time. She would have blocked out time for your cake, which means she would have had to say no to other people. I think she's being very generous in not charging you for the full amount regardless.