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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect the birthday cake booking date changed without extra charge?

434 replies

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 11:38

We had to cancel DD's birthday party the day before due to her having S&D. We'd have gone through with it if it was a runny nose but not S&D, as much for our guests as well as her.

Anyway, most of the vendors (hall, entertainment etc) have honoured bookings in changing the date without charge given the circumstances.

As for the cake, she wants to charge us again. Now, for context, she had not finished the cake, had not started icing or decorating it. What's more, once I informed her the party couldn't go ahead, she said she'd pop the sponge in the freezer to be used for another time.

Now we have a new date arranged I have contacted her (2 days later) and asked if the sponge will last (Google says it will) until the party in a couple of weeks and if she's available to decorate it and deliver it on that date.

She's come back saying she didn't freeze it in the end and instead gave it to her neighbour, and now expects us to pay again for a new cake?!
If she'd iced it and it was ready to go then I would completely understand. However, given that it's just a change of date, am I being unreasonable to have expected her to just to use the sponge for us, or even used the sponge for another customer and then made it fresh. Either way to me seems reasonable as she'd not be using extra resources or time.
I can of course understand she might have got an extra customer (money) on the later date but it wouldn't have caused her extra costs.

Am I being being completely unreasonable?
If the cake was decorated I'd have never asked her to redo the whole thing for free but given that she said she was freezing the sponge surely it would be reasonable for her to do it free of charge (or a nominal fee if anything extra is needed)?

OP posts:
JavSurge · 14/09/2026 11:47

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 14/09/2026 11:44

Completely unreasonable and I'm very surprised your other suppliers have been so obliging.

I offered to change the day from a Saturday to a Sunday as the other suppliers and hall tend not to get bookings those days, as I appreciate they would otherwise miss out on a Saturday booking.

OP posts:
nomas · 14/09/2026 11:46

I think you do need to pay.

She may not have been able to freeze the cake due to a space issue.

Ultimately, you cancelled last minute so you oew her the money.

ArseSkinForAFriend · 14/09/2026 11:46

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 14/09/2026 11:43

It sounds like you're trying to have your cake and eat it.

Bravo! 🤣🤣👏👏

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 11:45

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 14/09/2026 11:43

It sounds like you're trying to have your cake and eat it.

Ha! Very good

OP posts:
ArseSkinForAFriend · 14/09/2026 11:45

I don't blame her for not wanting to produce a birthday cake that she's had to freeze the sponge, as it will be subpar and she has her reputation to think of.

But she should've given the sponge to you, not her neighbour.

On the face of it though, you were considerably lucky that the other vendors didn't charge, as that's unusual at such short notice.

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 11:45

Lougle · 14/09/2026 11:42

You booked her time as well as the ingredients. I think she should be charging you a partial rate. If she's charging you again, you should have been able to have the previous cake. What does the contract say?

She didn't provide me with a contract and to be honest if it had been anything else I would have asked for T&C's but these tend to be over social media, local recommendations, type of arrangement.
In theory she wouldn't be using any extra time as she hadn't started the decorating, and the sponge cake didn't need to be wasted, could have been sold on or reused for the new date.

OP posts:
WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 14/09/2026 11:44

Completely unreasonable and I'm very surprised your other suppliers have been so obliging.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 14/09/2026 11:43

It sounds like you're trying to have your cake and eat it.

Lougle · 14/09/2026 11:42

You booked her time as well as the ingredients. I think she should be charging you a partial rate. If she's charging you again, you should have been able to have the previous cake. What does the contract say?