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AIBU?

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AIBU to expect the birthday cake booking date changed without extra charge?

434 replies

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 11:38

We had to cancel DD's birthday party the day before due to her having S&D. We'd have gone through with it if it was a runny nose but not S&D, as much for our guests as well as her.

Anyway, most of the vendors (hall, entertainment etc) have honoured bookings in changing the date without charge given the circumstances.

As for the cake, she wants to charge us again. Now, for context, she had not finished the cake, had not started icing or decorating it. What's more, once I informed her the party couldn't go ahead, she said she'd pop the sponge in the freezer to be used for another time.

Now we have a new date arranged I have contacted her (2 days later) and asked if the sponge will last (Google says it will) until the party in a couple of weeks and if she's available to decorate it and deliver it on that date.

She's come back saying she didn't freeze it in the end and instead gave it to her neighbour, and now expects us to pay again for a new cake?!
If she'd iced it and it was ready to go then I would completely understand. However, given that it's just a change of date, am I being unreasonable to have expected her to just to use the sponge for us, or even used the sponge for another customer and then made it fresh. Either way to me seems reasonable as she'd not be using extra resources or time.
I can of course understand she might have got an extra customer (money) on the later date but it wouldn't have caused her extra costs.

Am I being being completely unreasonable?
If the cake was decorated I'd have never asked her to redo the whole thing for free but given that she said she was freezing the sponge surely it would be reasonable for her to do it free of charge (or a nominal fee if anything extra is needed)?

OP posts:
Shmee1988 · 14/09/2026 14:11

I would certainly tell her that you want the first cake back that she gave to her neighbour. If you pay for 2 cakes, you want 2 cakes.

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 14:09

arethereanyleftatall · 14/09/2026 14:06

What about the time she set aside to do it for Saturday? What about the other customers she’s turned away as she already had this job? I’m always surprised how many threads there are like this where so many people can’t work out that they need to pay if they’ve booked a slot in a small business, that they need to pay for that time slot. It surely isn’t that difficult to work it out?

imagine op if you work in an office. You turn up to work one day. ‘No you’re not needed today, you won’t get paid for it though. Never mind, maybe turn up next week and we’ll see if you get paid this time. I mean, who knows though, you might not.’

Who are these customers she's turned away?

OP posts:
FurthestEdge · 14/09/2026 14:09

I don't blame her for not wanting to produce a birthday cake that she's had to freeze the sponge, as it will be subpar and she has her reputation to think of

This happened to me, ordered a cake and paid for it and had to postpone the event so the provider offered to put it in her freezer. When it came out it was definitely below standard so she baked another, which I also paid for.
None of it was her fault.

Dependsoncontext · 14/09/2026 14:07

I'd just go to M&S and order one of their extra large Colin the Caterpillar cakes (serves around 50). They are about £50 but you do have to order them. I'd forget about paying another £200 to this lady. I wouldn't expect her to just not charge anything additional in these circumstances, given that cakes are perishable (unlike bouncy castles or whatever) but I would expect her not to give away to her neighbour, a cake she expects you to pay for. If she wants to charge you full price, she should at least have offered the cake to you first.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 14/09/2026 14:07

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 14:03

It doesn't say she expects me to pay full price. Just that she wants more money. You are repeatedly challenging me on things I've not said, it's getting boring now 🥱

Yeah that’s not what’s happening. And I'm not the only person that read it that was. You said she told you she didn’t freeze it, gave it to a neighbour and now expects you to pay for a new cake.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/09/2026 14:06

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 11:48

I paid the full amount already - and she's saved time and resources in not having to decorate it, should that not count towards something? I'd also paid a delivery fee to her.

What about the time she set aside to do it for Saturday? What about the other customers she’s turned away as she already had this job? I’m always surprised how many threads there are like this where so many people can’t work out that they need to pay if they’ve booked a slot in a small business, that they need to pay for that time slot. It surely isn’t that difficult to work it out?

imagine op if you work in an office. You turn up to work one day. ‘No you’re not needed today, you won’t get paid for it though. Never mind, maybe turn up next week and we’ll see if you get paid this time. I mean, who knows though, you might not.’

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 14:04

Chexton · 14/09/2026 13:56

I think of posters, me including are reading this that the baker has said you need to pay another £200 on top.

You seem to be raging at something that hasn’t yet happened. She may well waive most of the fee and you’ll still get the cake you paid for with a small charge for the last minute changes 🤷🏻‍♀️

Edited

I'm raging she gave my cake to the neighbour when she said she was freezing it.

I asked her how much I would need to pay but she's not come back to me.

OP posts:
JavSurge · 14/09/2026 14:03

ToKittyornottoKitty · 14/09/2026 13:59

In your OP, you clearly said she expects you to pay again for a new cake.

It doesn't say she expects me to pay full price. Just that she wants more money. You are repeatedly challenging me on things I've not said, it's getting boring now 🥱

OP posts:
FourSevenFive · 14/09/2026 14:00

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 13:55

In the context that she'd given away the first one without offering it to me

Yeah, but can you see now that it was easy to read as something the baker said?

I'm afraid it broke the thread a bit, as many replies read it that way, but maybe it doesn't matter that much in this case, you in the end you'd have to talk to her and reach some agreement.

snowgirl1 · 14/09/2026 13:59

I think you're unreasonable to expect the date to be changed at short notice without extra charge (which was the title of your post). But I think the cake maker was unreasonable to give the cake to her neighbour - she should have given it to you!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 14/09/2026 13:59

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 13:34

Where have I said that?

In your OP, you clearly said she expects you to pay again for a new cake.

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 13:59

LittlePetitePsychopath · 14/09/2026 13:46

This is fascinating. How did she just drop that into conversation without making it clear if she expected you to pay again? Why did her neighbour need a cake? That feels like a baffling decision.

She said she would stick the sponge in the freezer. Then two days later when I got a new date I messaged her and asked how long it would last in the freezer and if it would still be good for the new date. She said she didn't bother with the freezer in the end and just gave it to Doris next door 😂. So I effectively thought she was holding it for me. Had she frozen it and my date been beyond the date in which it would be okay to consume then that would be fair enough, but she instead has repurposed the cake I'd paid for.

OP posts:
Givemeausernamepls · 14/09/2026 13:57

As a self employed person, she booked out her diary to make your cake, presumably she could have made for someone else had she not took your bookings... at short notice she cannot re-sell that time, so yes she might not have spent time doing the cake, but it prevented her from doing other people's. The cost of the ingredients is probably a lot lower than her time

Chexton · 14/09/2026 13:56

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 13:55

In the context that she'd given away the first one without offering it to me

I think of posters, me including are reading this that the baker has said you need to pay another £200 on top.

You seem to be raging at something that hasn’t yet happened. She may well waive most of the fee and you’ll still get the cake you paid for with a small charge for the last minute changes 🤷🏻‍♀️

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 13:56

Peachy2005 · 14/09/2026 13:53

Off-topic but did anyone else have to lookup S&D? Has this acronym replaced D&V?

I think she was cheeky to give away your cake without checking with you. You might have potentially frozen it yourself if she didn’t have space. She could at least have asked you. I am petty so I would not give her another £200: I would figure out something else for the cake. Good luck!

Sorry for the confusion. I tend to verbally say sickness and diarrhea, rather than diarrhea and vomiting so that's why I did it that way :)

OP posts:
JavSurge · 14/09/2026 13:55

FourSevenFive · 14/09/2026 13:36

She's come back saying she didn't freeze it in the end and instead gave it to her neighbour, and now expects us to pay again for a new cake?!

This sound very much like you being outraged that she expects you to pay again.

In the context that she'd given away the first one without offering it to me

OP posts:
Peachy2005 · 14/09/2026 13:53

Off-topic but did anyone else have to lookup S&D? Has this acronym replaced D&V?

I think she was cheeky to give away your cake without checking with you. You might have potentially frozen it yourself if she didn’t have space. She could at least have asked you. I am petty so I would not give her another £200: I would figure out something else for the cake. Good luck!

DontEatTheMushies · 14/09/2026 13:46

hmm, I doubt it went to a neighbor tbh, it would have been used. I had a friend of a friend and if someone cancelled she would use that cake for someone else - or make a generic iced and sell it as that via her FB page.

LittlePetitePsychopath · 14/09/2026 13:46

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 13:30

Oh behave. She gave my cake to her neighbour after saying she would freeze it.

This is fascinating. How did she just drop that into conversation without making it clear if she expected you to pay again? Why did her neighbour need a cake? That feels like a baffling decision.

SunshineAndFizz · 14/09/2026 13:41

Of course you pay. You cancelled one day before

nomas · 14/09/2026 13:37

if I paid for a cake and then my party was cancelled, I would still want a cake so I can slice it up and give it to family and neighbours.

Floatlikeafeather2 · 14/09/2026 13:36

PollyBell · 14/09/2026 11:54

I wouldnt hesitate to pay it s not a charity

In effect, £400 for a cake? Truthfully?

FourSevenFive · 14/09/2026 13:36

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 13:34

Where have I said that?

She's come back saying she didn't freeze it in the end and instead gave it to her neighbour, and now expects us to pay again for a new cake?!

This sound very much like you being outraged that she expects you to pay again.

imanastronaut · 14/09/2026 13:35

YABU. You should’ve just taken the cake.

JavSurge · 14/09/2026 13:34

ToKittyornottoKitty · 14/09/2026 13:32

So why have you implied she’s charging you another £200 on top of the £200 you paid?

Where have I said that?

OP posts:
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