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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my son should not charge friends for lifts?

296 replies

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:37

Hi there, I need some advice on this.
Little bit of backstory, my son is 17 years old, and has just got his driving license. He’s always been an outstanding individual, very generous and kind. He has been driving himself to college recently, and we were proud of him for willingly going out of his way to bring his friends to school (instead of making them take the bus).

What we’ve recently discovered is that he’s implemented a flat-rate fee, charging his friends slightly shy of £1 per ride to college.

Both my husband and I agree that this is ethically corrupt. My son thinks it’s his car and he can do what he wants.

Any advice?

OP posts:
CoventryCity · 14/09/2026 10:23

anterenea · 14/09/2026 10:06

Did you RTFT? Mummy and daddy pay for petrol and lil Alan Sugar here is putting his "mates" in the boot of his car!

He'll be a millionaire, if he's not in prison first!

whereswilson · 14/09/2026 10:22

Theyre contributing to fuel!!!

leavesinthebreeze · 14/09/2026 10:18

anterenea · 14/09/2026 10:06

Did you RTFT? Mummy and daddy pay for petrol and lil Alan Sugar here is putting his "mates" in the boot of his car!

Apart from the boot remark - the mummy and daddy paying for petrol is unnecessary. My dad paid for my petrol because my mum had recently died and I had her car and it was the only way I could get to 6th form and see friends. It’s not always because parents are overindulging their kids

TheGirlWhoLived · 14/09/2026 10:18

That was a truly excellent drip feed, only things that could have beaten it were “the car is stolen”, “he’s disqualified from driving”, “his mates are county lines runners”

YourGoldLurker · 14/09/2026 10:17

BePoisedPlumUser · 14/09/2026 10:15

Isn’t this what most people do? My daughter always used to charge for lifts and my son pays a colleague £20 per week for lifts to work. It saves him a fortune in taxis (there is no bus to where he works).

Good for your son that he’s not letting people use him for a free ride.

Do they charge folk and shove them in the boot too

HardyFox · 14/09/2026 10:16

Oh, sorry, missed the bit about them riding in the boot. Obviously anything illegal is a definite no.

BePoisedPlumUser · 14/09/2026 10:15

Isn’t this what most people do? My daughter always used to charge for lifts and my son pays a colleague £20 per week for lifts to work. It saves him a fortune in taxis (there is no bus to where he works).

Good for your son that he’s not letting people use him for a free ride.

HardyFox · 14/09/2026 10:15

Hes not a charity, he goes out of his way to pick them up, he gets a contribution towards petrol, they get a cheap lift. Win:win.

Fast800goingforit · 14/09/2026 10:14

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:49

Sorry all, I missed the fact that we bought the car and cover petrol and he’s also letting his friends get in the trunk.

Should he charge reduced rates for the boot?

Really? He's charging £1 to have passengers in the boot? Well he's breaking the law so perhaps take the car keys off him until he wishes up.

YourGoldLurker · 14/09/2026 10:13

Lobelia123 · 14/09/2026 10:11

I think its none of your business, its between him and his mates. Stop meddling, you dont need to be so overly involved in what he does! You may pay for the car and petrol, but its his time and good nature involved too.

There's nothing good natured about shoving mates in the boot of a car and asking them to pay

YourGoldLurker · 14/09/2026 10:12

motherhoodisntfortheweak · 14/09/2026 10:09

He should charge ore like £3

No he shouldn't. He's over filling his car and putting people in the boot. He's getting his petrol paid for as well

Lobelia123 · 14/09/2026 10:11

I think its none of your business, its between him and his mates. Stop meddling, you dont need to be so overly involved in what he does! You may pay for the car and petrol, but its his time and good nature involved too.

motherhoodisntfortheweak · 14/09/2026 10:09

He should charge ore like £3

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/09/2026 10:07

They shouldn’t be in the boot obviously!

But a small charge is reasonable.

Gloriia · 14/09/2026 10:07

Florencelatsy · 14/09/2026 10:05

Good on him! He's learning at a young age what many adults find hard and is not being walked over/being a doormat and putting boundaries in place. £1 contribution to a car ride for petrol/wear and tear/him going out of his way is a bargain. It's a fair contribution, his friends don't have to pay if they don't want to use the car and can use other means.
It sounds incredibly sensible and sounds like he has a good relationship with money and boundaries. Props to you for raising a decent kid!

He's allegedly over filling the car and putting friends in the boot. So no, not good on him.

USaYwHatNow · 14/09/2026 10:07

We used to do this all the time in 6th form. It was almost expected - I'm in my 30s for context. Also there'd always be a 'anyone doing lifts?!' text going round at kicking out time at the weekends and everyone would chip in for a lift home from a (sober) friend looking for a bit of extra cash.

anterenea · 14/09/2026 10:06

Florencelatsy · 14/09/2026 10:05

Good on him! He's learning at a young age what many adults find hard and is not being walked over/being a doormat and putting boundaries in place. £1 contribution to a car ride for petrol/wear and tear/him going out of his way is a bargain. It's a fair contribution, his friends don't have to pay if they don't want to use the car and can use other means.
It sounds incredibly sensible and sounds like he has a good relationship with money and boundaries. Props to you for raising a decent kid!

Did you RTFT? Mummy and daddy pay for petrol and lil Alan Sugar here is putting his "mates" in the boot of his car!

leavesinthebreeze · 14/09/2026 10:05

leavesinthebreeze · 14/09/2026 10:03

To be fair in 1994 in my little fiesta yes I did on the odd occasion, well, more in the foot wells. Not proud of it and my dc are far too sensible to do that.

Not to excuse myself myself but this was back in the day when the school mini bus was just 2 wooden benches each side and one of us had to hold the back door to stop it opening when we went round corners!

Florencelatsy · 14/09/2026 10:05

Good on him! He's learning at a young age what many adults find hard and is not being walked over/being a doormat and putting boundaries in place. £1 contribution to a car ride for petrol/wear and tear/him going out of his way is a bargain. It's a fair contribution, his friends don't have to pay if they don't want to use the car and can use other means.
It sounds incredibly sensible and sounds like he has a good relationship with money and boundaries. Props to you for raising a decent kid!

WouldYouLikeAnyToast · 14/09/2026 10:03

ClairDeLaLune · 14/09/2026 09:55

He could take more mates to school by putting them on skateboards and getting them to hang onto the spoiler. He’s missing a trick here.

Marty Mcfly style 😂

leavesinthebreeze · 14/09/2026 10:03

YourGoldLurker · 14/09/2026 10:01

Did you put your mates in the boot too

To be fair in 1994 in my little fiesta yes I did on the odd occasion, well, more in the foot wells. Not proud of it and my dc are far too sensible to do that.

Silvers11 · 14/09/2026 10:03

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:49

Sorry all, I missed the fact that we bought the car and cover petrol and he’s also letting his friends get in the trunk.

Should he charge reduced rates for the boot?

I was believing this - until this post!

MyOliveStork · 14/09/2026 10:02

When my son and his friends passed their tests they all routinely charged each other for lifts like a taxi. That way they all helped out with cost of fuel etc and encouraged someone to drive and ferry mates around on a night out. It didn’t last long as they all eventually passed their tests and so just took it in turns.

WouldYouLikeAnyToast · 14/09/2026 10:02

YourGoldLurker · 14/09/2026 10:00

This is a piss take. No one would be comfortable with their son putting mates in the boot of a car

Also only mentioned it when they presumably didn't like the answers they were getting!

leavesinthebreeze · 14/09/2026 10:02

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:49

Sorry all, I missed the fact that we bought the car and cover petrol and he’s also letting his friends get in the trunk.

Should he charge reduced rates for the boot?

Missed your update. Of course they shouldn’t be going in the boot 🤦🏽‍♀️ but he is not wrong for friends chipping in. My dad paid for my insurance, mot and tax and enough petrol to get me to 6th form and back (only way I could get there) but any petrol over that was on me