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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my son should not charge friends for lifts?

296 replies

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:37

Hi there, I need some advice on this.
Little bit of backstory, my son is 17 years old, and has just got his driving license. He’s always been an outstanding individual, very generous and kind. He has been driving himself to college recently, and we were proud of him for willingly going out of his way to bring his friends to school (instead of making them take the bus).

What we’ve recently discovered is that he’s implemented a flat-rate fee, charging his friends slightly shy of £1 per ride to college.

Both my husband and I agree that this is ethically corrupt. My son thinks it’s his car and he can do what he wants.

Any advice?

OP posts:
UnitaBath · 14/09/2026 09:00

These kind of threads are getting ridiculous. Next you will be saying some friends are riding on the roof rack!

PeriPeriMayo · 14/09/2026 09:00

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 14/09/2026 08:55

He's invalidating his insurance by doing this. The insurance policy will specify "not for hire or reward" and if he has an accident the insurance will not pay a penny as they will find out that the passengers had paid and he's making a profit.

Oh my 🙄

Sereine · 14/09/2026 08:59

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:49

Sorry all, I missed the fact that we bought the car and cover petrol and he’s also letting his friends get in the trunk.

Should he charge reduced rates for the boot?

So stop paying for petrol.

PeriPeriMayo · 14/09/2026 08:59

Hell of a drip feed appears when everyone is disagreeing with you😂

ethically corrupt my arse.

Sunbringer · 14/09/2026 08:58

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 14/09/2026 08:55

He's invalidating his insurance by doing this. The insurance policy will specify "not for hire or reward" and if he has an accident the insurance will not pay a penny as they will find out that the passengers had paid and he's making a profit.

Yeah if he gets in an accident he’s not going to tell his insurance his mates pay him petrol money.

Sunbringer · 14/09/2026 08:58

I think it’s fine. They save on the bus and he gets his petrol back.

Cantbelieveit888 · 14/09/2026 08:57

The boot is unsafe though… so he shouldn’t be doing it!

Isittimeformynapyet · 14/09/2026 08:57

Trunk?

Why does he charge in Sterling when you appear to live in the US?

LillyLeaf · 14/09/2026 08:56

Absolutely nothing wrong with that. I paid my friend £1, 25 years ago for a ride to college, it went towards her petrol and saved me the long bus ride. Great for us both.

EveryoneUsingOutro · 14/09/2026 08:56

SeptemberRains · 14/09/2026 08:53

@KatherineJ1775
Ah - you jumped the shark there...

Yeah, just a bit!

Cantbelieveit888 · 14/09/2026 08:56

Absolutely fine, otherwise his mates will take advantage. It’s £1 an absolute bargain! He’s the one doing the driving so earning a bit of extra money is very entrepreneurial.

CandyCrushLevel14809 · 14/09/2026 08:55

Think this is a wind up.

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 14/09/2026 08:55

He's invalidating his insurance by doing this. The insurance policy will specify "not for hire or reward" and if he has an accident the insurance will not pay a penny as they will find out that the passengers had paid and he's making a profit.

EveryoneUsingOutro · 14/09/2026 08:54

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:49

Sorry all, I missed the fact that we bought the car and cover petrol and he’s also letting his friends get in the trunk.

Should he charge reduced rates for the boot?

Funny that this drip feed appears when the thread is going against you Confused Pretty major info to miss out.

SeptemberRains · 14/09/2026 08:53

@KatherineJ1775
Ah - you jumped the shark there...

BananaPeels · 14/09/2026 08:53

Why shouldn’t they pay for petrol and wear and tear? Sounds like a good deal all round.

randomchap · 14/09/2026 08:53

Also, trunk? Is he driving an elephant?

Createausername1970 · 14/09/2026 08:53

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:49

Sorry all, I missed the fact that we bought the car and cover petrol and he’s also letting his friends get in the trunk.

Should he charge reduced rates for the boot?

Well that's a drip feed if ever there was one.

randomchap · 14/09/2026 08:52

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:49

Sorry all, I missed the fact that we bought the car and cover petrol and he’s also letting his friends get in the trunk.

Should he charge reduced rates for the boot?

Well that's quite the drip feed.

Travelling in the boot is extremely risky, it's a crumple zone, designed to compact in a crash to absorb energy. Tell him to stop doing that

euff · 14/09/2026 08:52

unless he is rolling in money then I think this is fine. Who bought the car, pays all related bills and fuel? If it’s you then yes it’s a bit weird as he’s then making money off of his friends but I wouldn’t say ethically corrupt.

dontcookwontcook · 14/09/2026 08:52

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:49

Sorry all, I missed the fact that we bought the car and cover petrol and he’s also letting his friends get in the trunk.

Should he charge reduced rates for the boot?

Ok so getting in the trunk is not advisable. I’m not gonna lie though, I did laugh at that the thought of it. Not sure how much I believe that he’s transporting his friends around like a mafia capo for a £1 tho…

Ohnobackagain · 14/09/2026 08:52

I see why you would think this @KatherineJ1775 but if he doesn’t set some kind of boundary, he’d end up being taken for granted/always driving. Putting in this amount (bargain for his mates and convenient) allows him to cover costs and makes it clear it’s an arrangement rather than something fluid and vague. When I was younger (6th form) and some of us had access to borrow parents’ cars we always offered petrol money, it seems ok to me.

EveryoneUsingOutro · 14/09/2026 08:50

You’re being ridiculous.

Contributing to petrol costs is perfectly normal and in fact, means he won’t get the piss taken out of him by friends begging for lifts everywhere. It’s also teaching his friends to value him, his car, and the favour he’s doing them.

I say well done your lad for being smart and protecting his valuable asset of a car.

Releasemeplease · 14/09/2026 08:50

I think it's a funny friendship dynamic to talk about him charging them for lifts.

If they really are friends then these pals should be offering him something towards the cost of fuel or at least buying him an occasional coffee or drink or whatever.
It's the formalising of the arrangement with terminology such as charging them that makes this sound not right.
However er if his friends show no appreciation of the favour he is doing them he has every right not to offer them lifts.

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:49

Sorry all, I missed the fact that we bought the car and cover petrol and he’s also letting his friends get in the trunk.

Should he charge reduced rates for the boot?

OP posts: