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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my son should not charge friends for lifts?

296 replies

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:37

Hi there, I need some advice on this.
Little bit of backstory, my son is 17 years old, and has just got his driving license. He’s always been an outstanding individual, very generous and kind. He has been driving himself to college recently, and we were proud of him for willingly going out of his way to bring his friends to school (instead of making them take the bus).

What we’ve recently discovered is that he’s implemented a flat-rate fee, charging his friends slightly shy of £1 per ride to college.

Both my husband and I agree that this is ethically corrupt. My son thinks it’s his car and he can do what he wants.

Any advice?

OP posts:
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Reallyneedsaholiday · 17/09/2026 18:32

There's a couple of problems with this, the main one being that he is breaking the law and risking losing his licence.
The second one being that he's using petrol that YOU are paying for, and pocketing the (albeit small) profit.

I do think the "ethically corrupt" is a bit dramatic.

Arcticbattle32 · 15/09/2026 19:28

YourGoldLurker · 14/09/2026 18:57

Putting people in the boot isn't good.

Oh no, I didn’t read that. Absolutely not to putting people in the boot!

MrsWeasley · 15/09/2026 09:58

When I started work, a person in my village was going past my road to the same place so offered regular lifts. The going rate was 50p a journey ( this was a long time ago) out of my £25 a week wages. It was cheaper and quicker than the bus. I think it normal to charge and it helps with his petrol costs.

YourGoldLurker · 15/09/2026 09:46

Typical Mumsnet gatekeeping of other people's posts

YourGoldLurker · 15/09/2026 09:45

Brideofclover · 15/09/2026 09:39

I feel like I’ve just stumbled upon a very rare member of Mumsnet who has worded perfectly how NORMAL people would behave 😂
I couldn’t have put it better myself and the fact the op @KatherineJ1775 hasn’t been back since speaks volumes 😂😂😂

Could you not. Odd that it was only me that got called out when loads of other people were posting on repeat "great idea " while the "normal "person on the thread had it all figured out.

Brideofclover · 15/09/2026 09:39

Tillow4ever · 14/09/2026 10:52

@YourGoldLurkeryou seem massively invested in this thread, replying to so many people to point out the “fact” he’s putting his mates in the boot. You haven’t seemed to twig that it’s VERY unlikely to be true. Either the OP didn’t like the responses on the thread so added something in to turn the tide OR it’s a completely bullshit thread in the first place. Possibly being used to train AI.

Did you not think it was odd that the OP used £ but then referred to a “trunk” and then switched to “boot”? Almost like an American AI forgot it was pretending to be British for a moment.

And if this were real, do you really think any parent would come online and ask if it’s ok that their kid is charging to give their friends lifts, but not even mention that they’re in the boot of the car too until they’ve had a number of responses? If you’re a parent, would you be more concerned with your child putting their friends in the boot, or charging them for fuel money?

Using a bit of critical thinking is always a good idea.

I feel like I’ve just stumbled upon a very rare member of Mumsnet who has worded perfectly how NORMAL people would behave 😂
I couldn’t have put it better myself and the fact the op @KatherineJ1775 hasn’t been back since speaks volumes 😂😂😂

CliffPsych · 15/09/2026 09:32

It was weird then she described the boy as He’s always been an outstanding individual Most parents don’t describe their children with this kind of language.

Anyway, I am suspicious of all posts that start with ‘Hi there’.

IndysMamaRex · 15/09/2026 09:21

He’s asking for a contribution as more weight in the car equals higher fuel consumption. It’s being sensible while still saving his friends money as £1 is cheaper than the bus.

you’ve also said he’s letting them get in the “trunk”? That’s illegal so you need to put a stop to that before he gets in trouble with the police.

this sounds like a fake post, no Brit says trunk

YourGoldLurker · 15/09/2026 09:07

Rainbowpumpkin · 15/09/2026 07:26

Good on him. Kids will take the p1ss and he'll be out of pocket. My best mate was charging us all 50p for a lift to college 30 years ago.

Hardly out of pocket if his parents are paying for his petrol

Rainbowpumpkin · 15/09/2026 07:26

Good on him. Kids will take the p1ss and he'll be out of pocket. My best mate was charging us all 50p for a lift to college 30 years ago.

CandyCrushLevel14809 · 14/09/2026 21:24

Some of the kids my son knows (he's 17) have a little box for mates to stick their pounds/notes in. Saves any sort of awkward formal discussion. They're friends, no one takes the piss.

BirdsongSunshine · 14/09/2026 21:21

Lots of young adults to this, my DS included.

He doesn’t drink, so often is the designated driver to various places. His friends will pay him an agreed amount (far cheaper than an Uber) and everyone is happy!

Being picked up and taken to College for a £1 is an absolute bargain, and they don’t have to wait around for the College bus, which can take twice as long due to their routes.

Chill out about it.

EveryoneUsingOutro · 14/09/2026 21:13

TheGirlWhoLived · 14/09/2026 10:18

That was a truly excellent drip feed, only things that could have beaten it were “the car is stolen”, “he’s disqualified from driving”, “his mates are county lines runners”

😂😂😂

OP might try those on their next imaginary thread!

CandyCrushLevel14809 · 14/09/2026 21:11

YourGoldLurker · 14/09/2026 20:58

His parents are paying for those

For the purposes of insurance they don't care who makes the money, it's whether the fees charged are more than the running costs.

I don't think his parents are paying for anything anyway, the whole thing is a big wind up!

MissRaspberryRipples · 14/09/2026 21:01

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:49

Sorry all, I missed the fact that we bought the car and cover petrol and he’s also letting his friends get in the trunk.

Should he charge reduced rates for the boot?

This has got to be a wind up surely he knows that he can't have passengers in the boot of his car. I'd say this part is made up but if he really is only charging his mates £1 to be driven to college then he's definitely not ripping them off

YourGoldLurker · 14/09/2026 20:58

CandyCrushLevel14809 · 14/09/2026 20:14

It is very unlikely that a 17 year old (with HUGE insurance costs) will make a profit from this. Fuel, running costs, wear and tear.

His parents are paying for those

MissRaspberryRipples · 14/09/2026 20:57

He's charging them less than bus fare though it's not like he's ripping them off. How many friends is he driving to college?

CandyCrushLevel14809 · 14/09/2026 20:14

Loz2323 · 14/09/2026 20:03

He has to be careful as charging people a fee to ride in a car can be illegal.You can ask your friends to chip in for actual fuel costs, but charging a profit-making fee is illegal and can lead to a fine of up to £2,500 or invalidate your insurance. Which means he may not be covered in an accident

It is very unlikely that a 17 year old (with HUGE insurance costs) will make a profit from this. Fuel, running costs, wear and tear.

Loz2323 · 14/09/2026 20:03

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:37

Hi there, I need some advice on this.
Little bit of backstory, my son is 17 years old, and has just got his driving license. He’s always been an outstanding individual, very generous and kind. He has been driving himself to college recently, and we were proud of him for willingly going out of his way to bring his friends to school (instead of making them take the bus).

What we’ve recently discovered is that he’s implemented a flat-rate fee, charging his friends slightly shy of £1 per ride to college.

Both my husband and I agree that this is ethically corrupt. My son thinks it’s his car and he can do what he wants.

Any advice?

He has to be careful as charging people a fee to ride in a car can be illegal.You can ask your friends to chip in for actual fuel costs, but charging a profit-making fee is illegal and can lead to a fine of up to £2,500 or invalidate your insurance. Which means he may not be covered in an accident

YourGoldLurker · 14/09/2026 18:57

Arcticbattle32 · 14/09/2026 18:54

Good on him. I think it’s entrepreneurial! Boys can be a bit like that. I’ve heard of boys “renting” or selling maths equipment at school when others forget their stuff. Seems fairly reasonable and sensible tbh! If they don’t want to pay, they can get the bus/walk. I think it’s quite sweet actually. It’s only a small amount of money.

Putting people in the boot isn't good.

Arcticbattle32 · 14/09/2026 18:54

Good on him. I think it’s entrepreneurial! Boys can be a bit like that. I’ve heard of boys “renting” or selling maths equipment at school when others forget their stuff. Seems fairly reasonable and sensible tbh! If they don’t want to pay, they can get the bus/walk. I think it’s quite sweet actually. It’s only a small amount of money.

YourGoldLurker · 14/09/2026 18:49

Futurehappiness · 14/09/2026 17:44

If your concern is that your DS is profiteering by charging his friends for costs you are covering anyway, then you could try clawing back the money from him and see how that goes down.

I don't think it amounts to corruption though. It is quite an abrupt character reversal: from 'outstanding, generous and kind' to 'ethically corrupt'.

If he is stuffing his friends into the boot of his car, I think he & you have much bigger issues.

Don't say stuffing. You'll be accused of being aggressive like I was when I used the word shove.

Futurehappiness · 14/09/2026 17:44

If your concern is that your DS is profiteering by charging his friends for costs you are covering anyway, then you could try clawing back the money from him and see how that goes down.

I don't think it amounts to corruption though. It is quite an abrupt character reversal: from 'outstanding, generous and kind' to 'ethically corrupt'.

If he is stuffing his friends into the boot of his car, I think he & you have much bigger issues.

RamALamADingDong2 · 14/09/2026 17:14

KatherineJ1775 · 14/09/2026 08:49

Sorry all, I missed the fact that we bought the car and cover petrol and he’s also letting his friends get in the trunk.

Should he charge reduced rates for the boot?

Sorry, what 😂

Just a small detail you forgot to mention there....

thatwasclose · 14/09/2026 17:04

This is almost certainly against his insurance rules. I suggest he reads up on his policy.

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