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Original poster

He was very touchy-feely on date BUT I didn't object and kissed him back.

130 replies

NickyC1975 · 13/09/2026 23:50

I was on a 1st date with a very attractive, confident, cheeky man (we're both 50s) and he was very touchy with his moves eg. stroking my knees/legs, holding my hands, kissing my shoulder and lips and even my chest a couple times. I never kissed on a 1st date before but I let him do all this with very little complaint but part of me was just being polite as I did feel uncomfortable about it afterwards and so ended it next day. He sent a voice-clip apologizing and sounded very sincere, took full responsibility and understood and offered to sit on his hands if we meet again. He said he was unexpectantly overwhelmed at how attracted he was to me, esp my soft skin. I did enjoy kissing/hand holding etc but still I felt it was a lot.

I NEVER stopped him and in fact I touched him BACK and NEVER even flinched so it would be very easy for him to assume I was OK with it. But I did feel uncomfortable as I'm a slow-burn. He was a very nice guy though and said he respected my boundaries and would not go too far and was really looking forward to seeing me again and I was planning to see him again until I had a change of heart next day.

Am I being unreasonable for ending it and not just communicating better? He's not a mind reader but part of me feels he should have read my cues better even though I do realise it was confusing cos I never stopped him or even said NOI!

OP posts:
Cuttertheduck · 13/09/2026 23:57

No
He isn't for you so just end it

Zipidydodah · 13/09/2026 23:57

Men (or women) for that matter aren’t mind readers so yes you need to actually communicate especially if someone does something you aren’t comfortable with.
BUT big, big red flags. No man should be constantly pawing you on a first date and this is absolute bollocks …… He said he was unexpectantly overwhelmed at how attracted he was to me, esp my soft skin.
And really worrying actually as it’s from the “it’s not my fault your so attractive I can’t control myself” playbook
BIN

mullers1977 · 13/09/2026 23:56

NickyC1975 · 13/09/2026 23:50

I was on a 1st date with a very attractive, confident, cheeky man (we're both 50s) and he was very touchy with his moves eg. stroking my knees/legs, holding my hands, kissing my shoulder and lips and even my chest a couple times. I never kissed on a 1st date before but I let him do all this with very little complaint but part of me was just being polite as I did feel uncomfortable about it afterwards and so ended it next day. He sent a voice-clip apologizing and sounded very sincere, took full responsibility and understood and offered to sit on his hands if we meet again. He said he was unexpectantly overwhelmed at how attracted he was to me, esp my soft skin. I did enjoy kissing/hand holding etc but still I felt it was a lot.

I NEVER stopped him and in fact I touched him BACK and NEVER even flinched so it would be very easy for him to assume I was OK with it. But I did feel uncomfortable as I'm a slow-burn. He was a very nice guy though and said he respected my boundaries and would not go too far and was really looking forward to seeing me again and I was planning to see him again until I had a change of heart next day.

Am I being unreasonable for ending it and not just communicating better? He's not a mind reader but part of me feels he should have read my cues better even though I do realise it was confusing cos I never stopped him or even said NOI!

Was the kissing on chest etc in public

CaramelGhost · 13/09/2026 23:56

You reciprocated his affections and admit you wanted to? You set a boundary to stop and he did. It sounds like you don't have chemistry. Don't overthink, just say you don't have chemistry and move on

Littledidsheknow · 13/09/2026 23:54

It is NEVER unreasonable to finish a relationship (such as it was!) for whatever reason. Or for no reason. You want to finish it, so finish it.

You owe him nothing.