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Does anyone else's partner criticise their driving?

31 replies

Bzzzzzz · 13/09/2026 22:51

I've never had any accidents, points etc. No insurance claims, I can't be that bad hopefully, he hasn't been driving for that much longer than me so not like he's got loads of experience either in comparison.

We take it in turns (and have our own cars so it's not like he's worried about me damaging his) but if I'm reversing or parking he'll say 'woah watch that!' About other cars or bollards, yet I've never hit anything ever.

He's tried to tell me how to improve my steering, when there's oncoming traffic on narrow roads he'll say 'watch out for these', he isn't nasty just acts a bit like a driving instructor, he questioned how quickly I was turning off a signal on a roundabout , stuff like that.

I tried to not take it personally and tell myself he's just trying to help, even though I never asked for any advice. Not sure if I'm being too sensitive? I always feel watched now, I'm not saying I'm an absolutely perfect driver but I think I'm safe and competent, he's acting like I'm a learner.

OP posts:
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Gengha · 14/09/2026 12:06

Mine does sometimes comment when I’m driving his car, it’s a manual and although I have a manual license I’ve driven automatic for 6 years now. So I get the odd comments on gear changes. Generally he buttons it as I don’t drink so I always drive back from places and if he doesn’t like it he can stay sober and drive

MagicUser1 · 14/09/2026 12:05

Tell him to stop. Firmly.

I find DH's driving extremely irritating because he is always in the wrong gear and he tends to take his foot on and off the accelerator and it's infuriating! And sometimes I can't help but coment. And he tells me to stop. Firmly. And much though that annoys me, he's not wrong.

In your case, x100. Either you are a competent driver in which case, even if he finds some of the things you do annoying, tough. Or you are not, in which case, he should not be driving with you.

Incidentally, on lon gdrives, I mostly drive. I can't bear to be in the passenger seat when DH is driving and it consistently adds at least 10-15% time to the drive because he has zero ability to a) maintain speed and b) he's not proactive so doesn't think ahead. This avoids me being irritated with him, and him being irritated with me being irritated with him.

Chewbecca · 14/09/2026 12:04

I have shouted at DH to stop this in the past (& we never shout at one another). He wouldn't do it to his friends. How does he think I manage to identify a parking spot when he isn't there? It drives me mad. Generally my DH isn't a critical (of me) man at all so I don't know what comes over him in the passenger seat.

I think this is why some women lose their driving confidence as they age.

Gengha · 14/09/2026 12:04

I’m probably worse at this than my husband 😂

CelticSilver · 14/09/2026 11:58

fuckeditupbadly · 14/09/2026 07:35

@CelticSilver did you really not think it would be annoying? My dp and I are both very good drivers but very different. He knows I dont like some if his technique and actually modifies it when I'm in the car. We both consciously dont comment.

He had literally just passed his test (aged 50). I've been driving since I was 17. Of course the dynamic was that I was in 'instructor' role.

Tirednotexpired · 14/09/2026 08:12

My husband hates the sat nav, doesn’t understand why I use it when he does a much better job. He’ll suddenly say, ‘You need to be in the middle lane, pull out NOW!’ And gets annoyed when I don’t because I can see an articulated lorry thundering down on us. Apparently the driver of said lorry won’t mind at all if I swerve in front of him at the last minute, as long as I’ve indicated. 🙄
’Red brake lights up ahead!’
‘Do you know it’s 40 along this road?’
‘What gear are you in?’
The list goes on.
His all time favourite criticism was that I drove with my foot permanently on the clutch (I didn’t) and I’ve advised him he needs to find something else to fixate on as my new car is an automatic. I have no doubt he will.

LarryForPrimeMinister · 14/09/2026 08:11

TheKindnessProject · 14/09/2026 07:11

Does my partner complain about my driving? Not since I ran him over. Not heard a peep out of him since.

🤣🤣

LarryForPrimeMinister · 14/09/2026 08:10

Nope. He tried it once while I was trying to park in a tight spot and I told him he get in the driver seat and park it if he could do better. He went quiet and hasn't done it since. Grin

Imightbeinthewronghere · 14/09/2026 08:09

Pull over, look at him, tell him to shut the fuck up or walk!

He wouldn't do this with a male driver, he is doing it because he can, you have a choice on how you deal with it.

jeffsaward · 14/09/2026 08:07

It’s a really weird thing to do to someone you are supposed to love. You are meant to be on the same side. He sounds like a bit of a bully, does his criticism extend to other areas or is he weirdly just turning against you in the car?

UniquePinkSwan · 14/09/2026 07:50

Yes but i criticise his as well. When I didn’t drive he said you can’t say anything until you have passed your test so that’s what I did.

rwalker · 14/09/2026 07:43

My wife does it all the time and ironically she’s a terrible driver ( confirmed by our adult kids and her mum)
but she does it with everyone to the point our eldest stopped his car and told her to shut up or get out

I think she more a nervous passenger than a twat

but it’s a win for me as I hardly drive anywhere now and just tell her to crack on

Lemonyyy · 14/09/2026 07:40

Not my partner but t my dad was/is awful for this. I won't drive him anymore but he is really nit picky with my mum and it's so unnecessary, especially as he frequently wants other people to drive so he can sink a large quantity of booze.

Tell him to shut up or walk op, it doesn't get better!

fuckeditupbadly · 14/09/2026 07:35

@CelticSilver did you really not think it would be annoying? My dp and I are both very good drivers but very different. He knows I dont like some if his technique and actually modifies it when I'm in the car. We both consciously dont comment.

CelticSilver · 14/09/2026 07:31

I do this with my husband. I've been driving for 30 years longer than he has and I'm a terrible passenger. I'll try and keep my thoughts to myself more after reading this thread!

Lottapianos · 14/09/2026 07:14

Iloveeverycat · 14/09/2026 06:46

Because of this I don't drive mine anywhere. He always drives because I refuse to and he knows why.

Same here. Cannot cope with his panicky comments, they're just too distracting and annoying. I'm a perfectly safe and competent driver but he makes me feel like I'm having a driving lesson. So I refuse to drive with him in the car

TheKindnessProject · 14/09/2026 07:11

Does my partner complain about my driving? Not since I ran him over. Not heard a peep out of him since.

GuavaBanana · 14/09/2026 06:50

Dh does this and therefore unless he is tired enough to go straight to sleep, I require him to do the driving . . .

Iloveeverycat · 14/09/2026 06:46

Because of this I don't drive mine anywhere. He always drives because I refuse to and he knows why.

Treacletreacle · 14/09/2026 06:40

I just play loud music and ignore him. I do often wonder if he makes comments to his male friends or its just my parking etc.

TruffleSlinky · 14/09/2026 06:36

Have you told him to stop?

Bzzzzzz · 14/09/2026 06:34

Dazzlemered · 14/09/2026 00:11

I do this all the time to DH. He is an excellent driver and has been for over 35 years. I’m very annoying. He’s starting to do it back to me now. I’ve only been driving 5 years.

Why do you do it?

OP posts:
Dazzlemered · 14/09/2026 00:11

I do this all the time to DH. He is an excellent driver and has been for over 35 years. I’m very annoying. He’s starting to do it back to me now. I’ve only been driving 5 years.

oviraptor21 · 14/09/2026 00:07

KitDeLuca · 13/09/2026 23:32

Arrgh I hear you. My DH is like this, probably worse. My response - if he can’t button it, he drives. I drive my own car but if we travel together he has to drive because he simply cannot resist backseat driving when I’m behind the wheel.

Or if he can't button up he walks. I like driving and would prefer to drive than be driven.

CillianMurphyhasbeautifuleyes · 14/09/2026 00:04

I just stop the car and say, you drive.