AIBU to want to exist in peace and quiet?

sausagedogsandfrogs · 2026-09-13T20:59:24+00:00

As per the title, really. We are in a 1950s semi-detached house. Moved from a 1970s end of terrace house to be somewhere a bit quieter, and in an area where it’s rare for properties to become available, so we had the choice of just the one property when we moved. Turns out, we moved in next door to what seems to be the loudest house on the street! Don’t get me wrong, our neighbours aren’t horrible people, but they are just… loud. They can’t have a conversation quietly. They can’t have their TV on quietly. They can’t have a telephone call without it being on speakerphone and it being loud. They are very sociable and love to host friends and family. I am pretty sure other neighbours have made complaints about their noise before, too. It’s almost not so bad in the summer because we prefer to stay indoors in the cool while they’re taking over their garden, so we get a little bit of quiet in the house, as long as we’re the other side of the house and they’re not being too noisy late into the evening. If we did want to be outdoors, though, their noise just takes over and makes it unpleasant. But when the weather’s not so great, and they’ve got the TV on, it’s so loud that we hear it over our own TV, and the type of noise that travels and goes right through me. I suspect their TV and/or speakers/sub are on or very close to our adjoining wall. (We thought about this when fitting ours and did so against a different internal wall rather than the one that adjoins theirs, and isolated our sub which is on the other side of the room; not that we use it often and it’s nowhere near as loud as theirs anyway!) On the rare occasions they’re not in (and they haven’t left their dog at home alone) I feel it in my soul and it feels like I can breathe and relax and I’m properly at ease. All I want is to know I can have more than one odd weekend every once in a while when I don’t have to resort to noise-cancelling headphones because I need some peace and quiet. It’s draining always having to be the one to tolerate everyone else’s noise; why can’t the noisy ones quieten down for a change? Ideally we would move to somewhere detached but this just isn’t an option right now. AIBU to just want to exist in my own home in the peace and quiet?!

Original poster

sausagedogsandfrogs · 19/09/2026 18:51

Bananacrepewithnuts · 13/09/2026 22:46

Confronting is the wrong word. My bad.

I meant can the other neighbours hear them too. Had anyone else had a word with them ?
X

Show quote history

Not sure if anyone else had spoken to them directly but they’ve definitely had other neighbours complain either officially or unofficially, I’m not sure which though!

OP posts:

Original poster

sausagedogsandfrogs · 19/09/2026 18:49

Weeellokthen · 19/09/2026 18:44

Aww op, this would kill me as I am sensitive to noise. I had years of barking next to me and I had murderous thoughts.
Why not invite them round and let them hear what you hear? If they really are "nice" they will be mortified and change their ways.

Oh my goodness, we had constant barking at our previous place (one of the key reasons we moved) and our neighbour thought we were unreasonable to be angry at barking at 1am because her rescue dog had separation anxiety!

I could try that, although I’m concerned they wouldn’t even be able to hear it?! After my previous interaction and hearing their ordinary conversations, I’m beginning to wonder if they are hearing impaired so wouldn’t be able to hear it through the wall the same way we can!

OP posts:

Original poster

sausagedogsandfrogs · 19/09/2026 18:46

notaladyinred · 13/09/2026 22:50

The best thing to do is speak to them at a non-confrontational time - just during normal hellos - and say oh by the way we have heard your TV recently, can we see if there's a way to make it quieter for us? Might be something as simple as putting something behind their TV that cushions the noise (even a bit of cardboard would help). Make it a shared problem about the general transfer of noise rather than making it about them being loud.

Will have to try to catch them, although since I last stopped by with a parcel for one of them and had him shouting an ordinary conversation at me, I suspect they’re either just loud people naturally or maybe have hearing impairments and therefore might not realise… although I must sound really quiet to them when I’m talking to them?! Who knows. I’ll have to ask although not sure how receptive they will be. Fingers crossed!

OP posts:

Weeellokthen · 19/09/2026 18:44

Aww op, this would kill me as I am sensitive to noise. I had years of barking next to me and I had murderous thoughts.
Why not invite them round and let them hear what you hear? If they really are "nice" they will be mortified and change their ways.

Original poster

sausagedogsandfrogs · 19/09/2026 18:43

BreezyClouds · 13/09/2026 22:53

I get your pain, in general it's unreasonable to complain about normal life noise. It's good to hear they took it well when you did challenge them.

I'd look to address the TV. Ask if it's fitted to the as joining wall and if there's anything that can be done to reduce the noise travelling. Be prepared for them to say no.

Look into noise insulation on that wall. Or whether you can reconfigure your house, we moved our livingroom to the back so it's on next doors kitchen wall. Hear nothing but I get it's likely not possible.

I wear ear plugs a lot if doing something quiet like reading, have an audio book on when cleaning and generally some background music if I'm hearing bursts of noise from next door.

We have separate living and dining rooms whereas theirs is knocked through, so we can’t change our rooms as it makes little difference (it’s just slightly quieter in the dining room, and we need the slightly quieter room for working from home).

If this was our forever home we’d definitely soundproof.

I’m hoping it’ll be easier to cope with, too, when my workplace finally get my team’s office sorted so I don’t always have to work at home. I think feeling like there’s little escape doesn’t help much, but reminding myself it’s not our forever home is also helpful!

OP posts:

Original poster

sausagedogsandfrogs · 19/09/2026 18:34

JudyTeeny · 13/09/2026 22:57

I know how you feel op. Our neighbours at our last house were elderly and a bit deaf and unfortunately had a tv loudspeaker on the party wall. We could hear exactly what they were watching, along with cheers and boos when rugby was on. They had a habit of watching Australian rugby in the early hours, when we had to be up early for work. Several times we phoned them as late as 1am to ask them to turn down the volume! They were always so apologetic but it really got me down. It got even worse when their son's family came to stay for 6 months- thundering up and down the stairs, doors slamming, it was awful. We decided to move after the man died and the woman made noises about downsizing, because we were so worried who we'd get moving in next.

Sympathy to you too!

OP posts:

Original poster

sausagedogsandfrogs · 19/09/2026 18:33

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/09/2026 23:01

They sound like inconsiderate arseholes to me. Call the council regarding the TV noise

Edited

They quite possibly are, I’m just conscious we’re also sensitive to noise and I wouldn’t want to make too much of a fuss if they could ramp things up even more! I’m not sure they would, but I also get the impression they are of the mind of our house, we will relax and make as much noise as we like!

OP posts:

Original poster

sausagedogsandfrogs · 19/09/2026 18:30

Thegirlwhowent · 13/09/2026 23:10

It sounds like it would be worth your while to have the party wall soundproofed. In a house I used to live in, some one had done the lounge wall. It was a cheap and amateur attempt but even so, it made a big difference.

We definitely would if it was our forever home, but as it’s not, and we’d hope not to be here more than 5 years, we probably won’t. Spent enough on the place already getting all the essentials sorted!

OP posts:

Original poster

sausagedogsandfrogs · 19/09/2026 18:26

PressTheSwitch · 14/09/2026 07:59

Sound proof your home?

If it was our forever home we definitely would. But it’s not, so we’ve probably just got to live with it in the meantime!
It’s not been so bad the past couple of days which interestingly coincide with the father being back (he works away sometimes). Suspect he may be tempering the older (adult) son a bit (who’s the loudest).

OP posts:

Original poster

sausagedogsandfrogs · 19/09/2026 18:20

Springtimeinsunshine · 13/09/2026 23:16

Ideally we would move to somewhere detached but this just isn’t an option right now.

Make sure their garden gate isn't attached to your wall if you do... it shakes my house when they, and their adult children slam it shut. They seem to slam everything though, house doors, car doors, windows, wheelie bin lids 😫

#teampeace&quiet

Sympathies!

OP posts:

Original poster

sausagedogsandfrogs · 19/09/2026 18:20

Mackerelfillets · 14/09/2026 08:11

I think this is probably why the house was up for sale in the first place!! Sounds like thinner walls too. Ultimately you might have to.move unless they do.They might move the TV.but its not gonna be enough.

Undoubtedly; houses very rarely go up for sale around here! I don’t think it’s necessarily that the walls are thin as they’re a standard, reasonable 1950s decent brick construction, but I think it’s where the chimneys are back-to-back and I suspect the resulting acoustics are amplifying the sound!

OP posts:

Mackerelfillets · 14/09/2026 08:11

I think this is probably why the house was up for sale in the first place!! Sounds like thinner walls too. Ultimately you might have to.move unless they do.They might move the TV.but its not gonna be enough.

PressTheSwitch · 14/09/2026 07:59

Sound proof your home?

Springtimeinsunshine · 13/09/2026 23:16

Ideally we would move to somewhere detached but this just isn’t an option right now.

Make sure their garden gate isn't attached to your wall if you do... it shakes my house when they, and their adult children slam it shut. They seem to slam everything though, house doors, car doors, windows, wheelie bin lids 😫

#teampeace&quiet

Thegirlwhowent · 13/09/2026 23:10

It sounds like it would be worth your while to have the party wall soundproofed. In a house I used to live in, some one had done the lounge wall. It was a cheap and amateur attempt but even so, it made a big difference.

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/09/2026 23:01

They sound like inconsiderate arseholes to me. Call the council regarding the TV noise

JudyTeeny · 13/09/2026 22:57

I know how you feel op. Our neighbours at our last house were elderly and a bit deaf and unfortunately had a tv loudspeaker on the party wall. We could hear exactly what they were watching, along with cheers and boos when rugby was on. They had a habit of watching Australian rugby in the early hours, when we had to be up early for work. Several times we phoned them as late as 1am to ask them to turn down the volume! They were always so apologetic but it really got me down. It got even worse when their son's family came to stay for 6 months- thundering up and down the stairs, doors slamming, it was awful. We decided to move after the man died and the woman made noises about downsizing, because we were so worried who we'd get moving in next.

BreezyClouds · 13/09/2026 22:53

I get your pain, in general it's unreasonable to complain about normal life noise. It's good to hear they took it well when you did challenge them.

I'd look to address the TV. Ask if it's fitted to the as joining wall and if there's anything that can be done to reduce the noise travelling. Be prepared for them to say no.

Look into noise insulation on that wall. Or whether you can reconfigure your house, we moved our livingroom to the back so it's on next doors kitchen wall. Hear nothing but I get it's likely not possible.

I wear ear plugs a lot if doing something quiet like reading, have an audio book on when cleaning and generally some background music if I'm hearing bursts of noise from next door.

notaladyinred · 13/09/2026 22:50

The best thing to do is speak to them at a non-confrontational time - just during normal hellos - and say oh by the way we have heard your TV recently, can we see if there's a way to make it quieter for us? Might be something as simple as putting something behind their TV that cushions the noise (even a bit of cardboard would help). Make it a shared problem about the general transfer of noise rather than making it about them being loud.

Bananacrepewithnuts · 13/09/2026 22:46

CakesForAll · 13/09/2026 22:41

Oh dear, I don't think "confronting" them is the answer. It will just escalate into unpleasantness, and the good thing is that the noisy neighbours are nice people. Just too noisy.

Show quote history

Confronting is the wrong word. My bad.

I meant can the other neighbours hear them too. Had anyone else had a word with them ?
X

CakesForAll · 13/09/2026 22:41

Bananacrepewithnuts · 13/09/2026 22:38

Oh God it's hard isn't it.
I guess I'm on the other foot. We are a loud family but I always tell my lot to be mindful of neighbours I wont my allow my adult kids (boys) to take the piss and I would be mortified if my neighbour wrote you post.
You can only keep trying but it must be very frustrating.
What about the other neighbours in the road. Could you get together to confront them ? Safety in numbers etc.

Edited

Oh dear, I don't think "confronting" them is the answer. It will just escalate into unpleasantness, and the good thing is that the noisy neighbours are nice people. Just too noisy.

Bananacrepewithnuts · 13/09/2026 22:38

Oh God it's hard isn't it.
I guess I'm on the other foot. We are a loud family but I always tell my lot to be mindful of neighbours I wont my allow my adult kids (boys) to take the piss and I would be mortified if my neighbour wrote you post.
You can only keep trying but it must be very frustrating.
What about the other neighbours in the road. Could you get together to confront them ? Safety in numbers etc.

Original poster

sausagedogsandfrogs · 13/09/2026 22:37

CakesForAll · 13/09/2026 22:04

Very sorry to hear about this. It must be so frustrating for you.

Thanks. It is. We don’t expect silence. We don’t expect to never hear them. In fact, it’s lovely to hear people having fun and enjoying themselves - within reason. But if ever they’re around during a weekday (I usually work from home), and during evenings and weekends, the noise from them is louder than us having a conversation with each other in the same room. I don’t feel that I should have to turn up my own TV because my neighbour’s TV is louder through the wall than ours is in the same room as us?!

OP posts:

Original poster

sausagedogsandfrogs · 13/09/2026 22:07

Bananacrepewithnuts · 13/09/2026 22:02

Oh it's such a shame OP I really feel your pain coming through your words.

Have you ever spoken to then about it ?
X

We’ve had to ask them to quieten down on the odd occasion when they’ve “not realised the time” and gone into the early hours when we’re up early the next day for work - them included! - but they are just louder people. They’re apologetic and nice, just too loud! We take in parcels for each other sometimes (well, us for them much more often than them for us) and they can’t have a conversation at the door without it feeling like being shouted at!

OP posts:

CakesForAll · 13/09/2026 22:04

Very sorry to hear about this. It must be so frustrating for you.