Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask adult children to take over pet costs?

38 replies

GoblinEgg · 13/09/2026 20:07

I have 3 children and they each have their 'own" pets that were adopted/bought when they were under 16.
Each wanted a specific pet and did the whole 'I will look after it' thing that kids do.

To their credit they have all kept up responsibilities for their animals and each animal spends a lot of time with their own child.

I do, of course, spend a lot of time with them too.

All the 'kids' are over 18 now and have their own incomes (but live at home).

WIBU to ask each one to take over the pet insurance costs and the food costs of their own animal?

I'm torn because they did ask for the animals, they do consider themselves to be individual owners of the animals, if they moved out they would 100% take the animals with them and they are adults now with their own money.

However, I also think that I was the adult in the situation and agreed to take on the animals and I do love them and get joy from them myself and have covered everything so far so would be unfair to suddenly change it?

If it makes any difference I do not charge any of them keep so they can save as much as they can whilst at home.

OP posts:
Raptors · 13/09/2026 20:40

GoblinEgg · 13/09/2026 20:37

I bought the pets for them with the understanding they were THEIR responsibility. We had multiple serious conversations about pet ownership, husbandry, cat needs and the commitment a animal takes which they all agreed to. And they have all continued to take 90% responsibility for each animal and their needs as discussed.

I have always footed the bill but now that I have all 3 at home still with no financial contribution, child benefit stopped etc... its becoming more strained and although I do not want to ask them to start paying board or bills I thought it might be fair to ask them to cover the costs of the animals.

Show quote history

Even with lots of conversations at the end of the day the adult buying the pet has the responsibility. I don't understand why you'd choose this as something for them to pay towards rather than charging them board and a portion of the bills??

Friendlygingercat · 13/09/2026 20:38

From the age of 14 until left home at 22 I had tortoises. Never less than 4. My parents took no interest in them and it was my responsibility to feed, clean and arrange their safe hibernation. When I left I re-homed them.

If they have their own income and pay no rent (???) then they can well afford to pay insurance, food and other expenses.

twilightcafe · 13/09/2026 20:38

Why not charge adult children a bit of housekeeping?

Original poster
GoblinEgg · 13/09/2026 20:37

Raptors · 13/09/2026 20:32

You brought the pets so no matter what they promised you did so on the understanding that they were your responsibility?

I bought the pets for them with the understanding they were THEIR responsibility. We had multiple serious conversations about pet ownership, husbandry, cat needs and the commitment a animal takes which they all agreed to. And they have all continued to take 90% responsibility for each animal and their needs as discussed.

I have always footed the bill but now that I have all 3 at home still with no financial contribution, child benefit stopped etc... its becoming more strained and although I do not want to ask them to start paying board or bills I thought it might be fair to ask them to cover the costs of the animals.

OP posts:
Givemeabreakdagdammit · 13/09/2026 20:34

I would OP, it's part of pet ownership that's really important that a lot of people don't appreciate. They are earning their own money now and therefore you are setting them up for independence when they do finally move with their pet.

Original poster
GoblinEgg · 13/09/2026 20:33

Itsdarkateight · 13/09/2026 20:27

What pets do they have? A horse would be slightly more costly than a guinea pig for example and would they be able to afford upkeep?

They are all cats. I don't know why I didn't just say that in the first message 😅🤣

They don't pay rent and I still cover food and utility costs for them all so they could more than afford the £50ish a month for food and insurance.

OP posts:
Raptors · 13/09/2026 20:32

You brought the pets so no matter what they promised you did so on the understanding that they were your responsibility?

Original poster
GoblinEgg · 13/09/2026 20:30

BoarBrush · 13/09/2026 20:13

Dd wanted a gecko, we got the gecko on the understanding that she would actually be my responsibility.

That wasn't our understanding though. They all knew that the animals would primarily be their own responsibilities and they have stuck to that agreement fully to their credits.

Only the financial aspects of pet ownership wasn't discussed because they were teenagers in High school. Now they are adults with their own money.

OP posts:
Pumpkinsaregrowingnicely · 13/09/2026 20:30

I got 2 dkittens. When 1 died dd begged for another 1 (she was 15)..
She has moved out and I buy food but she pays for jabs etc..
Dcat still lives at 'home-..

Itsdarkateight · 13/09/2026 20:27

What pets do they have? A horse would be slightly more costly than a guinea pig for example and would they be able to afford upkeep?

grinandslothit · 13/09/2026 20:24

Yes they should pay for their own pet as well as do the feeding and walking if needed

OtterlyMad · 13/09/2026 20:20

I think it would be fair to at least ask for a contribution from each of them towards their pet’s food and insurance.

BoarBrush · 13/09/2026 20:13

Dd wanted a gecko, we got the gecko on the understanding that she would actually be my responsibility.

Swipe left for the next trending thread