AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

Why can’t you take the dog with you?

I wouldn’t have a dog in my house either, so put it in kennels. Your pet, so your responsibility.

I love dogs and we have one but I would never expect someone to take care of our dog in those circumstances. We would pay a kennel. Obviously this one is on you and your unreasonable expectations and entitlement of others.

Pay someone to look after your dog. Simple. They are your responsibility, not your families.

I agree with this as well, I don’t even want a dog in my garden peeing or crapping everywhere, let alone my house!

This is ridiculous. Just put the dog in kennels while you deal with your emergency.

YABVU. And I love dogs and have two.

I would go to someone's house to feed a dog (depending on the dog), and might even take it for a walk. But I wouldn't have a dog in my house.

A dog sitter then?

There’s nothing you can do but you can behave accordingly and remember her lack of help in the future!
A paid dog sitter would be a good plan B for times like this. xx

Why is it nasty to say you hate dogs?

If someone said they hated spiders would you say the same? What about if someone said they hated fleas?

No way. I think you are being very selfish to think she should care for something she does not like. Dogs are disgusting.

The others aren’t available, and usually would.

the DIL is available, and just won’t.

which, in the case of the OP fancying a week in Tenerife is one thing, but in an emergency is something else.

and I’m not sure why people keep bringing up SIL - there’s been no mention of the OP having any!!

Also the son -in-laws have not been mentioned. Straight to housewife DIL as she’s clearly got nothing better to do.

Do you both have to travel to see the relative? Can the person whose relative it is go on their own and the other stay at home with the dog? Is that an option? As this may just be your best bet if you don’t want to pay someone to look after your dog.

It’s a family emergency, why isnt the op fuming her daughters can’t take some leave between them? Is the woman who looks after her grandchildren’s time and priorities worth so much less because she has the nerve to have agreed with her partner to not work while dc are very young? How dare she, and how very dare she and not also be available. Fine that the others aren’t available because emergency or no emergency, love dogs or hate them, they have JOBS. Poor judged dil, I’m glad she is good with her boundaries.

This thread has made me think. While I have always been organised to make sure our dogs could go to kennels in an emergency (I have elderly parents overseas), maybe it doesn't really need my husband or everyone to go to a funeral, or for whatever. Someone could actually stay home with the dogs, which may be preferable to a kennel (a totally unfamiliar place they have never had to go).

I dont think OP liked the response she got. Or the solutions offered. Wonder what happened in the end. If no Dog Boarding/kennels available then the only solution would be for the non related person to stay home with the dog.

You surely couldn’t be comfortable leaving your dog with someone who doesn’t like dogs

This would not be me .
I would not be dog sitting after a year . Mil should have got another job
How selfish and entitled

That's awful.

If you are already "the difficult one" and everyone is crying, wouldn't it be worth not putting up with her manipulation and saying no?

Perhaps she should have thought of that when she got the dog!

I have been put in this exact same situation!

mil has a dog , her husband “left” a year ago. She works weekends and can’t leave the dog .

as a temporary thing sil and dh look after the dog between them on a weekend. It’s a year later , and that rat is ruining my life (and tbf causes arguments) and I know the same is happening at sil house.

the thing is so tying - I can’t do anything with my husband (unless it’s a ducking walk!) as the thing has separation anxiety. Took it to a garden centre and it had explosive shits everywhere . Didn’t buy anything, helped the poor workers scrub shite then went home crying.

whenever alternative ideas are put forward mil cry’s , she hates me as I’m difficult (probably because I can’t go away on a weekend)

it makes me itch and eyes water and I am expected to put up with it

it is fucking awful and NOT MY DOG !!

good on your dil for saying no

My son’s wife does not like dogs and won’t have them in her house which i do understand but means our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

So both you and your daughters are putting unreasonable expectations on SIL.
Which bit of 'she doesn't like dogs' do any of you not get?
Give the poor woman a break.

You know your Dil doesn't like dogs yet to take them to her house anyway. This is very unfair on your Dil and your dogs who have to stay in the garden. Why don't you just leave them at home? Now you expect your Dil to care for the dogs breaking her own boundary of not having them in her home. You need to either find a dog sitter who will stay at your home, put them into a kennel if you can find one at short notice. You may be able to because it's Autumn now. In smeer they are always full. Your other option is to take them with you. It's nothing to do with your Dil.