AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

Yes I’d put myself out to help my family but I’d draw the line at looking after a dog - that’s pretty much the only thing I wouldn’t do to help.
People are allowed to have a boundary.

It's your dog. You chose to have a dog. You should be prepared to pay for kennels or a dog sitter if you go away. YABVU.

It’s not actually the same though. You’re making an assumption that the DIL has any idea what to do with the dog when it is in her home. Likely if she doesn’t like dogs she doesn’t interact with them so has absolutely no idea how to get it to behave, call it in from somewhere, get it to go to bed, even fuss it. I wouldn’t have a clue what to do with a dog if someone dropped one at my door apart from recoil which is what my typical response is.

I used to own dogs, but I don’t want any in my home now. I wouldn’t look after it either.

Can you not find a dog sitter, or some kennels?

No point in leaving a dog with someone that doesn’t want it there.

I think you’re getting a hard time here OP, because generally people do put themselves out for their families. I don’t like Tarantulas or rabbits but did duly go and care for my best friends menagerie while she was away, didn’t kill me.

I wouldn't have a dog in my house for all the tea in China. This is not your DIL's fault. She doesn't have to do this.

OP hopefully now has a friend to help, but if it were simply about not wanting to pay for kennels, that would be a her problem. Like it would be if she preferred someone else to pay for the plane tickets rather than spending hers and DHs money on them.

It’s really very odd behaviour but it has happened to me before. DH and I both have allergies and do not like dogs. BIL and his partner got a dog and asked if it could come over to our house / were then offended when we said no. I was offended to have been asked in the first place, it’s not fair to put someone in the uncomfortable position of having to refuse when you knew what their boundaries were from the off.

I want to understand more about why @BadGran thinks it’s acceptable to keep bringing her dog and leaving it in DILs garden. No dogs means no dogs!

Why haven’t you put your foot down and said you’re not doing it anymore?

Not only is it an inconvenience for you, you’re actually allergic!

If MIL cries, let her cry. It’s been a year and it’s totally unreasonable.
She’ll have to find an alternative solution - paid dog sitter, change job or get rid of the dog.

Dogs are lauded above all other animals - they have a special status where to criticise one is not only a moral failure but an indictment on your entire character as a person 🙄🙄

Then you don’t make the decision to have a dog.

I’m with DiL. I don’t like dogs and wouldn’t offer to look after one. When close relative was hospitalised I immediately took her dog to a kennels. It’s your dog and your responsibility.

If you know your DIL doesn’t like dogs but take your dog to her house anyway, why don’t you take it to visit the unwell relative? Surely that’s not being unreasonable in your eyes?

If you don’t want to do that, use kennels, get a dog sitter, or either one or both of you can’t go.

When you are a responsible pet owner, you need to make difficult decisions, NOT just do what you fancy and then moan because someone who didn’t decide to get a dog won’t pick you up the pieces for you!

You have to if it's an emergency.

I wouldn't want my dog to be in the care of someone who doesn't like dogs tbh.

I don't disagree with anything you say in your post. Which is why, if kennels are not suitable for any reason, including a long waiting list, you have to assume that you cannot arrange anything last minute if you do not have anyone to take care of your dog. Trying to shame people into taking care of your pet against their wishes is not really the way forward.

I'm actually staggered by the number of people who seem to be suggesting that the dog could just be left in its own home and the DiL just go in and feed it and let it out. You can't leave a dog like that.

If this is how she feels about dogs, how do you think the dog would be treated if she did agree to have it? She has zero understanding of dogs and zero empathy with them. YABU for even considering leaaving your dog with someone like that.

Sorry OP, but you need to fully accept that not everyone is happy to have a dog in their house. I can of course see why you’re disappointed but I wouldn’t have one in my home - the reasons are (1) I don’t like the smell of dogs (2) I worry about hygiene because dogs literally lick poo and then lick people and other things (3) I don’t like the way dogs want constant attention so I find them emotionally draining.

incidentally it is not that I hate dogs but I do hate having them in my home.

My home is my personal space and not having a dog in it is a personal preference. It is not a judgment on dogs in general or any particular dog.

I do not like dogs. I do not want dogs in my house. But on occasion DH kids have brought their dogs with them for visits. We now have a cat, so dogs not welcome, even in the garden. I have a horse. Not everyone likes horses. Would u be ok if I insisted you look after my horse if u didnt like them?? Probably not! U are being unreasonable.

Kennels exist OP.

YABVU.

Hopefully you’re not badmouthing your Daughter in Law to others, about this.

Yabu. I wouldn't have someone elses dog either. Get a dog sitter or a kennels surely?

If you take the dog to the dils house (even though she has told you she doesn’t like dogs) why can you not take them to the relatives house?

Why did you even ask? She doesn’t like them!
This has massively annoyed me 😂😂😂😂 You are exactly the type of dog owner that give the rest of us a bad name 🙈

Yet another entitled owner.