AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

I am wary of dogs and I wouldn't do this either OP. You and your daughters don't sound particularly nice, moaning behind her back that your DIL won't do your bidding with regards to your dog.

I think every dog owner needs to have a contingency plan for emergencies like these. And no, dumping the dog on the nearest available female in the family regardless of her wishes, is not a contingency plan.

That's as may be. But logically, we are surely not the people to ask when you need your dog looking after!

My parents got a labrador when I was 10 because brother wanted to. It was very well trained, at my Dad's insistance, but as the first person in from school / work, it became my responsibility. Occasionally I'd have to clean up vomit, she needed letting out, walking, poo picking up etc. I did all these things assiduously (I suppose Dad trained me as well as the dog!)
Dog walked to heel, wasn't allowed to approach strangers, certainly not children, and was never taken where she wasn't welcomed, eg shops, cafes, other people's houses.
I never wanted a dog, and I was never particularly pleased we had one. I don't really agree with pet ownership in general, I think farmers should have dogs, and obviously guide dogs (which undergo rigerous training).
I don't like badly trained dogs.
I've met 3 dogs in the past 10 years that I'd consider well trained (one a retired guide dog, another that had failed it's guide dog exams and gone to live with my friend (fully sighted!) . I don't have dogs in my property and I am not the friend to ask for dog sitting.
I'll drive you places, help you move house, decorate / build furniture when you move, cook for you and have your kids as long as necessary. I'm a good person to work through problems with as I tend to ask the right questions. I'll have people stay as much as suits them, including kids. I'm tall so can get things off high shelves! I'm good at all that stuff.
I hate being asked to look after dogs and don't like being around them.
According to some on this thread I'm therefore "selfish" but I view it as the dog owner really needing to ask people to play to their strengths. Take your dog where she is welcome!

What kind of dog lover foists her dog on someone who doesn’t like them? I thought many people think of dogs as important as humans these days and at the same level as family. Would you leave your child with somebody who hated kids? I wouldn’t!

I think it's weird you'd even factor someone who doesn't like dogs in as a potential dog sitter. I have dogs but they don't stay with family relatives as none of the rest of my family particularly care for dogs. And that's fine!

I appreciate it can be hard getting a sitter at short notice but you'll find one - and the situation really isn't your DIL's fault.

I’m a dog person but I couldn’t have anyone else’s dog in the house because my own elderly dog wouldn’t cope with it now. I have also looked after dogs for friends in the past and it’s been a right pia when the dogs have turned out to be poorly behaved or just stressed at the change. I’m obviously in a different situation to your dil, but the point is you have no right to expect anyone to accommodate your dog.

I understand the reluctance to use kennels but you might have no choice. One option might be to ask one of your daughters to have the dog and then pay for a dog walker/sitter to come and walk him while they are at work? You could look for a live-in sitter but I doubt you’ll get one at short notice.

So many people say "but my dog won't go into kennels" - well surely your dog will go anywhere you take it?!

Is this a wind up?
she doesnt have to look after your dog. Find a kennel or a dog sitter.
She is generous even letting the dog come in her garden. I dislike how some people bring their dogs everywhere and expect everyone to be fine with it (and I say that as someone who has a dog and has had cats, rabbits, turtles, fish, mice, chickens and a budgie as pets at various points).
some people dont like dogs, are scared of dogs or struggle either their smell or other aspects. She doesnt have to have the dog in her house. You are being 1000% unreasonable expecting her to look after your dog when your three kids have work. Just because she is a housewife doesnt mean she is free to look after your dog.

all that faff when all they have to do is for one of the couple to stay at home

because she has asked for a stupid thing and been upset when refused when she has a simple cast iron solution starting her in the face. One partner travels, the other partner stays with the dog.

Just to add from earlier comment - and sorry if it feels like I am putting the boot in - we were middle aged when we got rookiedog.

How we would handle it if my elderly DPs needed urgent care was one of the considerations and we put back up plans in place, which we’ve had to adjust as circumstances change. But it’s simply a factor you need to try and build in as part of dog ownership, and making someone who doesn’t like dogs and doesn’t choose to own one part pf your solution planning is simply not fair on that person.

I don´t like dogs, so no, I wouldn´t help you with it either.

You know how she is with dogs so you shouldnt even have her as an option in your head. You will either have to take dog with you or use a kennel.

Oh yeah it’s their relative that’s ill not them just re read it 😂

I think DIL is good to allow the dog in her garden - I wouldn't .

Rehoming a dog because you have a dog-sitting emergency? Seriously?
Let's put it to sleep while we're here.

Re read the post

If anyone should be asked to visit Ops home to feed the dog it should be the daughters. I think considering OP takes her dog to her DIL home where she knows the dog isn’t welcome to begin with but disregards that anyway, she won’t want to have her dog in a crate for a week or two in a garden.
Luckily it sounds like OP is sorted but it’s certainly not her DIL responsibility to ask online for a dog sitter, OP could do that (it’s her dog)

i would consider rehoming the dog if you’re too unwell to look after it, as painful as that is isn’t it better to be with a family who can properly care for it?

Oh I’m dealing with a very close member that doesn’t believe in kennelling their dog! Sorry what? In which case you simply cannot work out of the house for long amounts of time or go on holiday overnight trips together without expecting family members to do something for you because they love you even though they simply do not want to then can you? Except they do and seem determined to continue to do so and they seem okay with that. It’s bonkers to me. What can you do? These things actually seem really trivial but this woman will ruin her relationship with her son if she continues this ridiculous charade.

I would also be much more willing to look after a snake - it just sits in its tank and you throw it a frozen mouse every so often. I wouldn’t be thrilled about the idea but I could probably manage it to help someone out

It may be a stressful and emotional time but you are still unreasonable. Your entitlement came way before this upsetting time that we can see from what you’ve wrote.

Sorry how is this the DIL's responsibility. Her DH is abroad and she has young children. Let your daughters do it when they have stopped bitching.about her.

Very good point - although maybe the person at the other end doesn't like dogs, in which case its a double standard to expect DIL to look after it!

I like snakes, I would happily look after it! But a dog? Absolutely no way. I hate the smelly, slobbery, yappy, jumpy, needy, annoying things with an absolute passion. There is no way in a million years would I have one in my house. But many dog owners do not seem to get it at all. I hate them with a passion too.

Yeah that's not fair to the dog. If there genuinely were no care option for the dog other than someone popping in twice a day, whichever person isn't related to the sick family member would have to stay at home.