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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

687 replies

BadGran · 13/09/2026 19:32

I know I probably IABU but I need a little moan. My husband & I are currently in a very difficult situation with a very ill relative and we need to travel to see them urgently.

It’s all happened very quickly and as a result we are struggling to find someone to look after our dog while we are away. We have 3 children - our 2 daughters are always happy to chip in with the dog where they can when we are in a bind but my son’s wife does not like dogs and won’t have them in her house which i do understand but means our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

Anyway both my daughters have jobs with no flexibility or working from home options so can’t help on this occasion. My son is working abroad. My Daughter-in-Law is a housewife so theoretically could help but as previously mentioned she refuses to have anything to do with the dog.

I know she is perfectly within her rights and it’s our dog not hers but I’m finding it quite hard not to feel quite cross about the whole situation as I feel this is adding an additional layer of stress in already horrible circumstances.

AIBU to feel this way ?

OP posts:
ShanghaiDiva · 13/09/2026 20:01

ChihuahuaChica · 13/09/2026 19:34

She doesn't like dogs. It's really that simple.

Absolutely! Your dog, your problem.

noctilucentcloud · 13/09/2026 20:01

I like dogs, I have had a dog but I think you're being unreasonable, sorry OP. That said, I think people who are blindly saying pay someone don't realise how far in advance you have to book these things. I'd be asking friends or close colleagues that like dogs, neighbours you are friendly with, local dog sitters and local kennels on the off chance. But you have to respect it if they say no. Or look at taking the dog with you (assuming it's not abroad).

Puppalicious · 13/09/2026 20:00

BadGran · 13/09/2026 19:32

I know I probably IABU but I need a little moan. My husband & I are currently in a very difficult situation with a very ill relative and we need to travel to see them urgently.

It’s all happened very quickly and as a result we are struggling to find someone to look after our dog while we are away. We have 3 children - our 2 daughters are always happy to chip in with the dog where they can when we are in a bind but my son’s wife does not like dogs and won’t have them in her house which i do understand but means our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

Anyway both my daughters have jobs with no flexibility or working from home options so can’t help on this occasion. My son is working abroad. My Daughter-in-Law is a housewife so theoretically could help but as previously mentioned she refuses to have anything to do with the dog.

I know she is perfectly within her rights and it’s our dog not hers but I’m finding it quite hard not to feel quite cross about the whole situation as I feel this is adding an additional layer of stress in already horrible circumstances.

AIBU to feel this way ?

you don’t mention your sons in law. Can they help? Or just women?

ToddlerFun1234 · 13/09/2026 19:59

So your daughters have convenient excuses which you accept, but DIL is the mean one???

Plenty of people work full time and still have dogs. Ask your daughters again. Or, you know, take responsibility for your own pet and PAY for a sitter.

Lemonyyy · 13/09/2026 19:59

Can't one of your daughters work from your house? Yabu I'm afraid, she's not obligated to look after your dog!

Happytaytos · 13/09/2026 19:59

millymollymoomoo · 13/09/2026 19:57

No, it’s selfish of family not to help out IN AN EMERGENCY

of course if it was a holiday or other then op could sort out other arrangements. at short notice it’s not possible. The dil doesn’t work and could put up with inconvenience for a few days.

It's not JUST inconvenience though.

NewGoldFox · 13/09/2026 19:58

Just remember you’re freed from any similar obligations to her and your son.

AgileMentor · 13/09/2026 19:58

get a pet sitter. I have one coming for when we go away for a week in 10 days time.

Steeleydan · 13/09/2026 19:57

BadGran · 13/09/2026 19:32

I know I probably IABU but I need a little moan. My husband & I are currently in a very difficult situation with a very ill relative and we need to travel to see them urgently.

It’s all happened very quickly and as a result we are struggling to find someone to look after our dog while we are away. We have 3 children - our 2 daughters are always happy to chip in with the dog where they can when we are in a bind but my son’s wife does not like dogs and won’t have them in her house which i do understand but means our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

Anyway both my daughters have jobs with no flexibility or working from home options so can’t help on this occasion. My son is working abroad. My Daughter-in-Law is a housewife so theoretically could help but as previously mentioned she refuses to have anything to do with the dog.

I know she is perfectly within her rights and it’s our dog not hers but I’m finding it quite hard not to feel quite cross about the whole situation as I feel this is adding an additional layer of stress in already horrible circumstances.

AIBU to feel this way ?

Get a dog sitter to move into your house

Kirbert2 · 13/09/2026 19:57

Of course she isn't going to help, she's made it very clear that she doesn't like dogs.

Take the dog with you or pay for a sitter.

millymollymoomoo · 13/09/2026 19:57

No, it’s selfish of family not to help out IN AN EMERGENCY

of course if it was a holiday or other then op could sort out other arrangements. at short notice it’s not possible. The dil doesn’t work and could put up with inconvenience for a few days.

AnnaQuayRules · 13/09/2026 19:57

CuriousKangaroo · 13/09/2026 19:51

I think dog owners simply fail to understand that some people just don’t like dogs. I wouldn’t have one in my house due to the smell alone. I’m sorry you are having a difficult time with an ill relative, but what you are asking of her is unreasonable. Her working status is neither here nor there.

Edited

It isn't fair to lump all dog owners together.

We have a dog. There is no way I would expect our Ds and his partner to look after it in an emergency, as she is allergic to him. I'd book him in with his regular dog minder or arrange for him to go to kennels.

Not all dog owners are selfish

edwinbear · 13/09/2026 19:57

YABVU. I really dislike dogs and I wouldn’t have one in my house. I wouldn’t know how to look after one either.

Superscientist · 13/09/2026 19:57

My parents and two sisters have/have had dogs. They take their dogs to one anothers houses and dog sit for one another.
I do not have a dog, I do not want a dog. They don't bring their dogs to my house and I don't dog sit for them.

If it's the day time that is the problem, could your daughters have the dogs and arrange a dog walker or doggy daycare whilst they are at work?

Both of my sisters use dog walkers during the day as they work

B1anche · 13/09/2026 19:57

Applesonthelawn · 13/09/2026 19:53

Of course she can say no but people can and will judge her for it. DILs usually go the extra mile to get along with their PILs and she clearly won't. Yes she is within her rights but she's unyielding and obstinate I suspect too.

Yes she should know her place 🙄

Seriously, as a dog owner, you should have a plan for things like this. Why can't the dog go with you? Why can't either you or husband stay at home with the dog? Why can't you look for a kennel or sitter?

Ifeelold48 · 13/09/2026 19:56

YABU. You need to find another solution. Maybe a dog walker and one of your daughters. Your DIL doesnt like dogs.

Pedant61 · 13/09/2026 19:55

Why should she? She didn't choose to get a dog.
Just pay for kennels, and stop relying on your family to bail you out.
Oh, and it's 2026..... "a housewife"??

JJWT · 13/09/2026 19:55

You cant leave your dog with someone who doesn't have any experience of dogs anyway. She won't know how to look after it. Its not fair on the dog. Maybe find a dog sitter who would have your dog to stay at their home, or look after it in your home. Or just one of you see to the ill relative?

Burgeroffff · 13/09/2026 19:54

harriethoyle · 13/09/2026 19:38

I cannot believe anyone wouldn’t help in this situation regardless of their preferences. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable @BadGran - you’re not off on a jolly,

Agree.

Lomonald · 13/09/2026 19:54

CanYouComeUp · 13/09/2026 19:52

Why do you take your dog with you when you visit when you know you can’t bring it in? Seems really odd

Some dog owners, most are aware not everyone can care or even like their dogs.

Viviennemary · 13/09/2026 19:54

She doesn't like dogs and doesn't want them in her house. It needs to go in kennels if you have nobody to look after it. I don't usually allow dogs in my house. And certainly not as overnight guests.

Stompythedinosaur · 13/09/2026 19:53

So because your dil is a sahm she is obliged to be your dogsitter?

I don't think that's reasonable at all!

FinallyDecided · 13/09/2026 19:53

Of course yabu, can't believe you're even asking.

Stardogchampion · 13/09/2026 19:53

I'm not a dog person and would feel totally on edge having one in my house esp if I had responsibility for looking after them, yabvvvvu.

Applesonthelawn · 13/09/2026 19:53

Of course she can say no but people can and will judge her for it. DILs usually go the extra mile to get along with their PILs and she clearly won't. Yes she is within her rights but she's unyielding and obstinate I suspect too.

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