AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

Annoys your daughters? It’s absolutely nothing to do with them so they and their opinion are irrelevant here!
YABU for taking a dog round to a house where you know the owner doesn’t like them and isn’t welcome, why don’t you leave the dog at home whilst you visit? Or are you hoping if the weathers not great you can try guilt them into letting the dog inside!?
Anyway yes YABU for being upset at your DIL over this, your dog is not her responsibility

Just because people on Mumsnet trot out the old ‘no is a complete sentence’ line doesn’t make it true. I can barely think of any example when ‘no’ is a sufficient response to a question. No wonder so many families don’t get on and so many people don’t have any friends, if they think that’s a good way to communicate.

Agree with you about the dog issue, though.

I guess that they hope to rope the DIL in and make her the default dog care, because they are soooo busy.

Which would be yet another reason for the DIL to watch her boundaries. Once she hesitates, they will always be too busy.

Sitter or kennels or you don’t go. Your dog, entirely your problem. You cannot expect someone who dislikes dogs to have one in their house!

I adore dogs, but it was entirely predictable that during your dog’s lifetime there would be times you couldn’t be with it, and it’s not your DiL’s job to solve that for you. You’ll have to get a sitter.

I don't have a dog because I don't want to look after a dog.

You are being unreasonable.

Emergencies are a predicatable part of life and plans for your dog in an emergency should be part of deciding to get a dog.

I don't like dogs, my parents have them. In a difficult scenario I have offered to stay at there's to ensure the dogs are fed and walked but I would never have them in my house. These are dogs I've known a long time and whilst I'm not keen I tolerate them for my parents sake.

Nothing that OP has written indicates that she'd give a balanced view of either DILs views, her own dog's behaviour or the imposition involved in an open ended period of looking after it.

He works abroad…

As already suggested - dog sitter / dog boarder / kennels.

and I have 3 dogs and would not be slagging off my dil on social media.

Why is she "presumably" at home all day? Maybe she's made plans for while her DH is working abroad?

I love dogs. YABU.

YABU. I think DIL has been very accommodating in the past to even allow the dog in their garden. I think it is unreasonable to ask someone to have a dog in their home.

As someone who isn't a dog person I wouldn't know how to look after a dog. I wouldn't know how to get them off me if they jumped on me or how to safely grab them if needed. My house wouldn't be dog proofed. It isn't reasonable to expect a non-dog owner to be prepared in this way however dire your situation might be.

Her being a SAHM is neither here nor there.

Good for her for sticking to her guns. Mumsnet is always saying ‘no is a complete sentence’.

You are being unreasonable - put the dog in kennels. Or find a paid dog sitter.

Unfortunately if she doesn't like dogs, she doesn't like dogs. And, sorry to ask, why do you take the dog to hers when she doesn't like dogs, just to sit in the garden? I don't understand this thing now where people take their dogs everywhere.

Anyway, good luck with it all and hope the visit is ok - and the relative makes a full recovery.

This , 100%.

Obviously op and her magnanimous dd have clearly decided it’s the lazy “housewife” dil who should be taking up the slack to manage the family probs… NOT their husbands:.

She doesn’t like dogs so hasn’t done anything wrong. Put the dog in the kennels. I’m sorry you’re going through a difficult time. I hope everything goes well for you and your relative.

Your dog, your responsibility. Put it in kennels.

I say this as a dog owner and also have to travel for work sometimes at short notice - unless my partner and kids can cover their care they go in kennels.

Put it in kennels!!!! I hate dogs too. Wouldn’t be able to have a dog here in my house

It’s your dog. Why would you expect your DIL to have any responsibility for it. And why are you guilt tripping her?

I hate dogs. I hate the smell, the noise, their need for attention, the way they pant - everything. I’m also afraid of them since being bitten by a patients dog. I wouldn’t have a dog in my house nor would I offer to around and feed/walk/let out a dog. Put it in kennels or take it with you

Good point about the daughters. If OPs account is accurate, they've got quite a cheek.

Sorry but you're being completely unreasonable.

I am not fond of dogs (nothing personal against the dogs themselves, I was scared of them as a child and have never been comfortable around them) and I would never have one in my house or look after one because of how I feel.

You can't be angry at someone for not accommodating your pet when they don't like them! You chose to have a dog and yes it is an unfortunate situation but you can't be unfairly mad at someone who doesn't like dogs for not wanting to look after them. I'm very sorry that you have an ill relative but you'll need to pay for a kennel or dog sitter.

I don’t want dogs in my home so yes if you insisted that your precious pooch couldn’t stay home they could stay in the garden.

No I wouldn’t dog sit either because if I wanted a dog I’d have one frankly.

None of your children will watch the dog so stop just blaming you dil, A in law over your own children. Also however it’s not their fault or job to look after your pet.