AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

Hmm, no.

People who think everyone should like dogs because they do are dicks.

Dogs are cunts.

Not her problem.

You are being incredibly unreasonable. I also don’t think in-laws automatically become family unless you click and have respect and trust both ways. You and your daughters clearly have no respect for her to bitch about her not having your dog in her house so I can understand her not putting herself out for you, I wouldn’t either. That other thread you said this was DS2 so where is DS1 and can he help? Also in an emergency DDs could ask dispensation to wfh or take leave - they could split it. Or you or DH stay home with the dog or find somewhere to stay near sick relative where you can take it.

YANBU.

People who don’t like dogs are dicks. Almost without exception.

I like dogs and often dog sit for my dad, but I don’t particularly love having his dog in my house. I do it because my dad having the dog is good for him (gets him walking and keeps him entertained), but I wouldn’t do it for anyone else. You’re being unreasonable.

Why would you want your dog to stay with someone who doesn't like dogs?

I’m too cross about the overriding feeling of ‘women’s work’ from the op to comment. Can’t stand misogyny

Well quite.

I mean all Op's adult kids are working but because he's abroad he's given a pass & his wife should do it?

Letting her lock your dog out in the garden in all weather is terrible enough—grow a backbone and stop taking your dog there in the first place. Expecting her to babysit when she openly detests dogs is madness. Why would you subject your dog to that? Pay for a professional boarder.

If you don't want to put the dog in kennels, hire someone to come in twice a day to feed and walk your dog. There are plenty of people who do that for a living, just google or ask at your local vet surgery, they will have business cards. It's really not that difficult.

‘No’ as a full and final response sounds unnecessarily blunt to me, but to each their own.

When you say you need to leave the dog in the garden when you visit - why are you taking your dog to her house at all? Can't it stay at home? Your daughters have no right to be annoyed about it either.

I'm sorry about your relative. Do your daughters have partners who can help? Or have you friends you could ask?

The ill relative is only actually related to one of you. Lovely that you both want to go to them, but, assuming there are no other dog care options, the unrelated one can stay at home.

@BadGran do they have children?

I love dogs and think YANVU. I moved in with a relative to provide end of life care a few years ago and took my dog with me. Other relatives came and sat with the ill relative for a hour or two a day while I walked him. DH had to work, DCs had work / school and he’s too clingy / anxious for kennels so he came with me. I would have completely ruled out DIL from the start, knowing that she doesn’t like dogs. Why on earth would you want to leave your dog with someone who doesn’t like dogs and presumably has no experience in caring for one? Even if she agreed through gritted teeth I would be imagining my poor dog neglected, starving and desperate for attention.

Can’t you take the dog with you or just one of you go, or take it in turns to stay home? Why do you both need to go?

Pay for kennels or a petsitter. Your dog, your problem.

OP has three adult children, and she should get a grip here.

According to the other thread by OP where she dropped her baby granddaughter on the head, there are two sons with children. So four adult children, although only three are mentioned here.

Yes, you’re being v unreasonable.
she doesn’t like dogs, she doesn’t want it in her house.
Your dog is your responsibility - just because she is a housewife doesn’t mean she sits on her bottom all day.
Put the dog into kennels, or boarding.

(I love dogs, and work but recognise not everyone does, and my dog, my problem.)

I'd bother to leave a proper post but seems like the OP has just plopped and run.
YABVU

Absolutely. People deciding thst DIL probably isn’t actually in mortal fear of dogs and so should ‘suck it up’ and pitch in are really full of it.
OP has three adult children, and she should get a grip here.
Or, either she or her husband can stay home to look after Bonzo. Why must both go?

This mysterious family emergency is effectively being entirely laid at DIL’s door, whereas if OP finds her own domestic circs are so utterly incapable of flexibility or elastic thinking re the dog, then that is where all this MN forensic personal analysis should be focussing.
Should she be flying to this person at all, if she is so fatally encumbered at home?

In this situation as you are with your husband, I'd take the dog with me. Worst case scenario you may have to book a hotel and take turns visiting the relative/caring for the dog.

I can’t imagine not helping a family member out in an emergency, and I would probably match that energy going forwards.

Why do you bring the dug to her house? Can’t your dog stay at home?
And no, your dog is not her problem. Pay for a sitter, or kennels.

Why would you even want to send your dog to someone who doesnt like it? It’s like sending your child to someone who hates kids? Madness. Is dog boarding kennels not an option?

Im not a lover of dogs, I have cats but Id certainly help out under these circumstances. Id prefer it not to be one of those dogs that slobber everywhere.