AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

Yeah no way is looking after an animal you are scared of “just an inconvenience”.

By definition if you’re not on edge, distressed, heart beating etc when looking after an animal and you just see it as inconvenient task, you’re not scared of said animal. Simple.

It is like someone with arachnophobia saying how “inconvenient” it is to get rid of spiders. They just wouldn’t. They’d say it’s terrifying not inconvenient!

Rational fear?

To me it's not an inconvenience. It's a lot of doing something I really really don't like. It's picking up poo (gross), it's dealing with the food (gross and smelly), it's walking it (when?), it's having an unpredictable creature in the house, it's the hair, it's organising life around it. All for something I don't want, like or need.

I'll do most things for most people and regularly help friends and relatives in all kinds of situations. Dog care is beyond reasonable imo.

But again, if you like dogs, you won't get it.

Very unreasonable. I love dogs but they are messy and smelly. They leave fur and muddy paw prints. They need to be walked and looked after. If someone never had dogs and doesn't like them, you can't force them to look after one. Can't you put the dog in a pet hotel for the holiday? That's what many people do

You say the dog has to stay in the garden when you visit - why do you even take the dog with you in the first place?

Yes, looking after an animal I don’t like or have an irrational fear of is just an inconvenience. To me at least 🤷‍♀️

The OP is selfish to expect her to look after an animal she doesn't like.

She is selfish and should help in an emergency

YABU. I do quite like dogs, and I’m sure if I ever had one I’d love it like it was my flesh and blood.

However, I can only assume that dog owners are totally nose blind. To me they all smell, and even when they’re adorable and I stroke/cuddle them I can smell them on me afterwards and for that reason alone none are welcome in my house.

Also - I think the cats would move out.

(I do assume cats have a smell that I can’t smell and also would not expect someone who didn’t like cats to have my cat in their house.)

I would not look after a dog as I can't do the pooh ! I hate animal cruelty, I work all day and so think its cruel to have a dog shut in the house all day even though my boys were desperate for a dog when they were younger - so 2 good reasons for me to say no

That would make me feel awful if a relative thought I was choosing not to help. I had a dog phobia as a child and as an adult I have gradually grown to tolerate dogs. But I don’t know how to be around them and would feel scared in my own home if I had one walking about the place. I really, really don’t know what to do with a dog or how to be around a dog. I wouldn’t be able to help. But to be honest I’d feel really hurt if a family member thought it was ok to expect me to be able to.

You are being unreasonable.
I love my dog but would never push him on someone who I knew would be uncomfortable around him.
I hope you’re not making your poor DIL feel uncomfortable or guilt tripping her, it could put unnecessary strain on your relationship with her and with your son.
Pay a dog sitter. I hope your situation gets easier soon.

Where did you get grandchildren from? You didn’t mention it in your post and I don’t think OP did.
And it is different. Clearly MIL has had children at some point and is probably not averse to humans in her house or vicinity.

Having a dog for a while when you don't like dogs is well beyond putting yourself out.

Replace dog with an animal you don't like or are scared of. Not just an inconvenience now is it?

I think people who do like dogs will never understand.

Your grandkids are your own flesh and blood! Dogs aren't even the same species!

Also, looking after someone else's dog is a big deal, even if you like dogs. It's understandable that someone who doesn't like dogs doesn't want to get involved

Some rescues can help with emergency foster care for your pets whilst someone in the family is ill. Might be worth reaching out to one

Some people find any sort of dog scary. Also, they are allowed not to like dogs (or cats, or cabbage, or Eurovision, or anything else) for whatever reason.

Ruff!!

youre a horrible mother in law

lol. How many people post about problems with children compared to problems with dogs. Naaaa I’ll stick with dogs any day

You’re not being unreasonable op. There’s things I don’t like but in an urgent situation, I absolutely would. Even if i didn’t like it.

That is exactly what children want!

What has your daughters working got to do with the dog going there ?
A dog should be absolutely fine being left while its owners work.

our dog has to stay in the garden when we go to their house which isn’t always ideal depending on the weather etc and I know it annoys my daughters.

It sounds like you and DH and your 2 daughters descend on your poor DIL for Christmas or for weekend stays and you expect your dogs to be hosted as well.

Poor DIL.

It seems, from previous posts, that the OP hasn't been asked to help her DIL out anymore, not since she dropped her grand-baby on its head.