AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

My daughter is absolutely terrified of all dogs. There is no way I would impose one on her. Why should she have to put up with a dog slobbering and jumping on her?

I note the son in laws get no mention here. Must be women’s work I guess.

Put your dog in a kennel and for the love of gos stop taking it over there when you know she doesn’t like it!

Does the ill relative genuinely really need both of you to go?

If there really is no other way around this then maybe just one of you go.

I would help my parents or PIL out without hesitation, but I love animals and dogs.

That sums it up from me.
I have family with dogs. I'd be perfectly happy to call and walk / feed them but no chance of having a dog inside my house.

As someone who would do anything for anyone, I would not have a dog in my house. I would go to their house and look after it there, but not in my home.

I understand your stress as I have single handedly looked after ill parents (with a sister and brother not prepared to help) but I still think you are being unreasonable.
I suspect if it was your son refusing, you would feel differently .......

Agree, this is incredibly misogynistic. DIL is presumably raising the children and organising everyone’s lives. That is work (I am not a SAHM BTW, but I support them as most of what they do goes unnoticed).

Wow, you couldn’t pay me any money to live with a dog. You should not even have asked.

I’m a dog owner and lover but not everybody likes them (why I’ll never know, dogs rock, but they don’t!)

But you ARE expecting her to look after your dog.
And you're feeling cross that she won't.

You are being completely unreasonable, OP.

You haven't mentioned the option of kennels, or do you not like to leave your dog in kennels?

I love dogs but YAB massively UR in this instance!! Not everyone likes dogs and that’s fine, she is under absolutely no obligation to help you and you are a CF to even be a tiny bit annoyed about it.

Assuming there’s two of you, one goes to the ill relative and one stays with the dog?

Cockapoos have unpredictable traits and suffer from separation anxiety and are high energy- definitely not dogs for someone who doesn’t like them. I’m definitely scared of them. And the breed doesn’t matter really.

If you own a dog it is Your responsibility. Not your DD, DS, DIL or SIL, DPs, anyone else: YOUR responsibility. Out visiting: Leave your dog at home or at a suitable Dog daycare or kennels. Only take your dog where they are truly welcome and never to somewhere with children or cats.

What about people who don’t like dogs because they’ve been attacked by a dog? Are they supposed to still love dogs?

the point is that some people make an effort in an emergency. In this instance, they would at least come and feed the dog, and walk it once during the day until the pet sitter is free and the others are off from work, for example.

No one is talking about giving the dog a spa weekend in your own home and giving it your bed.

You are the perfect example why people don't like the ones who are so proud they "don't like dog". It's not about the dogs, it's just the generally unpleasant attitude.

If you can help someone when they are stuck in an emergency, why wouldn't you? We are talking friends or family! I am glad people around me are decent human beings.

Totally unreasonable you are responsible for your dog not other people. Train your dog to manage being alone and pay for care

Dogs and kids are completely different though

This. And trying to get her daughters to gang up on her DIL? Very poor behaviour. She's lucky that this woman has any of them round at all.

You are being outrageous to even bring the dog to her house and put it in the garden when you visit

what made you think that was ok ?
id be so pissed off with you for that- dont do that again

you are pet owners snd should have plans and back up plans. You are older now and both more likely to have these situations arise in the family or for yourselves make plans that don't involve her and definitely dont be resentful to her

Yes perhaps for the best, you did sound rather hatstand.

Yep exactly the same for me. I would do most things to help out most people but i just couldnt do this. Its really not on to be cross with her. That can easily turn into resentment, when YABVU not her.

That's not the point. The point is that OP's DIL doesnt like dogs. I don't either. They smell IMO. It is beyond cheeky and entitled to expect a dog hater to give one house room. The DIL's being a housewife is zero to do with anything. OP sounds like the MIL from hell and I'd be giving her a wide berth.

Yeah I agree that she shouldn't be taking the dog round when there's no emergency

I seem to have touched a nerve with you 😉 but let's not derail the thread

As a PP said though, it sounds like the OP and her daughters have given the DIL a hard time about it previously when OP has taken her dog to the DILs home against her wishes (hence why it's had to stay in the garden).
I would be prepared to put money on the fact that the first time DIL allowed the dog in her house even though this is an emergency, she would be expected to host the dog at all times in the future. DIL is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't.

I haven't met many people scared of a cockapoo to be honest 😂

Which was the example I used.