AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

It seems unfair that the blame is on your DIL but your daughters get a free pass due to work - almost shaming the daughter in law for not working. I’m sure the dog will survive while they are out at work for a few weeks and I speak as a dog owner who never leaves my dog, but needs must.

So I’m stretching for my assumption that the DIL has met the dog, but your assumptions are ok?

right.

Of course she is a stranger to the dog. The dog has never been in DIL's house, and given the situation I am going to take a confident guess that DIL and the dog have never met. DIL will have no clue what a dog needs or how to properly care for it. You have no idea if the DIL goes to the OP's house and socialises with the dog but based on the OP's info, I would guess not.

You are really stretching now!

Disagree that the dog knows who she is.

My family members have a dog who technically I see regularly as I visit them at least a couple of times a month. However the dog does not know me at all, I never interact with him in the slightest.

Yeah, he can just pop over twice a day from France or the USA or wherever he is working abroad from.

Why don't people just READ the OP?

Between you and the other people asking about the son, or the sons in law - assuming her daughters are either a) married or b) to men, I don't understand why people just can't respond to the actual question posed not the scenario they've made up in their head!

Also this. If you were my MIL and you kept bringing an uninvited dog to my home, then feeling miffed when it wasn't welcome inside, you would find the frequency of your visits diminished.

Put your dog in kennels or get a dog sitter like everybody else has to!! It’s YOUR dog and YOUR problem!!! NOT your daughter in laws!

If you don’t like dogs, you don’t like dogs - end of discussion really. Your DiL is perfectly entitled to say no. It’s like my nephew asking me to look after his snakes - absolutely not, never, ever will that happen!!

There are other solutions though, there must be local dog sitters, or people that will look after your dog in their home - have you tried Rover? or asking on fb for recommendations?

The DIL is not a stranger to the dog, let’s not be silly.

The dog knows who she is. OP has said that she makes the dog stay outside her house, she hasn’t said anything to suggest she doesn’t spend time in the OPs house, where the dog would also be.

Thats the point though the op doesn't have cast iron options. My dd has a dog, 2 dog sitters the dog knows, a boarding kennels he's used to. 3 different family members who can help. She has ensured that there is always an option available including kennels.

Of course you're being unreasonable. What you are in need of is a paid dog sitter or the kennels.

It’s not easy to get a dog in kennels at short notice. Dog needs a settling in time. Plus all vaccinations records plus other proof of treatments/flea/worming etc. can take a couple of weeks to organise.

Team dil, why do you take your dog with you to their house anyway? I’m not a dog person and nobody is silly enough to do that- when the topic of having you round came up I’d say to dh it just annoys me so much that they bring their dog and then do those looks because dog isn’t coming in the house. It’s a dog free house, lots of people have them, and your parents are just so entitled.

Snappy response!

And no, no I am not.

ETA....the DIL IS a stranger! What part of that are you missing? Perhaps you are high!

So because you love dogs everyone should love dogs?

I hate dogs but fortunately all my dog-mad friends can see that I have plenty of good qualities despite that, and they still value me as a human being and as a friend.

She doesn't like dogs or have any experience of looking after one. She is completely unsuitable. Start looking around for dog sitters.

I’m glad your DIL has felt comfortable and confident enough to maintain her boundaries and tbh I cannot understand why you would have asked her when you know her answer would be no.

You say your other daughters don’t like how the dog has to go in the garden at hers so obviously an ongoing situation that sounds like you’ve moaned about DIL with your dd’s. With that in mind good for her saying no. She must feel a real strong feeling about this from you all.

Im sorry you have an urgent crisis but that does not mean she has a duty to your dog.

Please after all this have a fresh look at the situation for how it is.
if she had a pet rat or a snake or an animal you don’t like, would you be ok with it going around your house ?
Difference is those animals probably wouldn’t leave a smell like your dog would. All dogs smell even freshly groomed ones!!

Hope you find a dog sitter but be kind to DIL too.

Well aren't you wonderful. I am too. But never mind. The people around me are very appreciative of the kind, caring, generous person i am and many things I do for them. But thankfully none of them would ever ask me to mind their dogs as they know i would not be able to do it.
I do plenty of things I'd rather not, but the dog thing, I just can't.

Pleased you’ve been told in no uncertain terms how it is. Hopefully you can respect that in future and have a better relationship because of it. I have a dog, it’s lovely I can take it anywhere, but sometimes I can’t and I must respect that.

Noticeably, you mention the favour being done by several people rather than one who has sole charge of a toddler who can't be used to dogs at home, and say nothing about any of them really disliking dogs either. Almost like the situations aren't comparable.

This is click bait

yabu. I hate dogs and there’s no way I’d have one in my house, ever. For any reason.

yup. I don't get why this is not the first , simplest and most obvious solution. Its what my late husband and I used to do.

No, that's not the situation, but they aren't both able to go, because they have a dog. Unless they can arrange dog care they fundamentally are not able to both go. A bit like any other commitment. Like work, children, a farm, whatever.