AIBU to feel upset my daughter-in-law will not help with our dog?

Your dog, your problem.

Your dog is not her problem, i like dogs but i wouldnt have someones dog in my house, the dog will have to go in kennels or you will have to pay someone to go in and feed it and walk it...where on.earth do you think shes going to put a dog if she doesnt like them.also one of you could stay home with the dog and the other go,

Exactly! She’s happy to impose her dog on a daughter in law, but not the unwell relative they are going to visit!

Fair enough you’re probably right

Sorry, some people will always require help because they make decisions that will always require other people to help them.

I don’t disagree at all - I have emphatically said the OP is being wildly unreasonable. What object to is that this is because we don’t have a duty to help each other in general, which I believe that we do.

Well people aren't usually allergic to cooking. Or frightened (though I am scared of deep fat fryers!) And if you are rubbish at cooking/baking you can always buy a couple of ready meals.

It's a very different thing to an open ended commitment to look after a living being.

I wouldn't let my mum bring her dogs to my house at all. I don't like them or their smell and I don't want them in my home. You are entirely unreasonable and you need to tell your daughters they have no business being annoyed either.

Pets are a you thing. It’s unreasonable to expect family to care for them. Hire a sitter or even get one for free to stay in your house.

I think this too - and it’s not all dog owners, just the ones who make their dog their whole personality, call it their baby and think it deserves the same status as a child. Mostly they have been misanthropes

I say this as someone who untill last weekend had a dog. Unfortunately you need to find a kennels you trust for these times. It cost us just over £800 for our boy to have 2 weeks in kennels as they are the only ones we trusted

my parents did a lot of the short term/ short notice pet care but due to their health can no longer help. They helped with my dog as they’d known him for 16 years and he was exceptionally quiet in his old age so they could cope, but there is no way they’d manage a young dog

As our kennels books up ages in advance we have decided not to get another dog as we don’t have sufficient care in place

we are looking into reliable home boarders as an alternative

Your daughter in law is more than entitled to say no (from a dog mum)

You do know that dogs are animals? That human beings have tamed and trained to do their bidding. Dogs have much less higher level cognitive thinking and are not going to be running the country any time soon. Of course they are going to be more biddable and do what you want, because that’s what you have trained them to do and they are simple animals. Comparing dogs to humans like this is a very odd thing to do.

I always wonder, re people who dislike other people and prefer dogs, I feel sorry that you have not been able to surround yourself with decent humans. I know many people who are wonderful, kind, funny, interesting and reliable etc. Do you think it says something about you that you have not met decent people in your life or have you just been unlucky?

@BadGran has been asked this several times and is evading the question!

YAB totally unreasonable. Put the dog in the kennels I dislike dogs and would never look after one. Also, why are you bringing your dogs to her house generally? Leave them at home!

Even if she liked dogs she shouldn’t have to look after yours. Book kennels

Yes. I agree. Lack of empathy is startling.

You are totally in the wrong. It’s your dog, your responsibility. Your daughter in laws house and up to her what she does and doesn’t. Your crossness is misguided. I’m not a dog person and wouldn’t help out no matter what the circumstances. It’s not unreasonable at all.

YABU she isn't suddenly going to get over her aversion and why should she? Would you suddenly house a cat? Hope you manage to find some suitable care and that your relative is ok though.

This is up there with one of the most entitled ones on mumsnet!

as you say it’s not her dog. You chose to have a dog, she didn’t. She doesn’t like dogs so why on earth should she take yours?

you are being very unreasonable

Why are you taking your dog to her house when you know she doesn't like dogs???

its actually potentially dangerous to have a dog in a home, especially one with children, where no one likes dogs or knows how to interact and look after them. It isn’t second nature for non dog people, and this is exactly the sort of situation where even a normally placid dog could trigger stack and end up biting someone. Not everybody can look after dogs even when it is second nature to those of us who are dog people.

How is it an emergency? The dog's owner isn't in hospital, the dog just isn't convenient for them right now. Dogs aren't convenient, it's a sacrifice of dog ownership that many dog people are willing to make. There are options in true emergencies (I think the Cinnoman Trust) but OP and her partner not wanting to take the dog and get an air B&B near the ill relative is not a emergency, it's a preference.

It really isn't the same thing.

Grandparents already raised their children so they have a lot of experience in looking after a child. I'm guessing that they also don't dislike children as they wouldn't have decided to be parents in the first place.

Someone who never had a dog is not used to them, doesn't have the confidence to be in charge of a dog - it needs to be learned through experience. I know because my husband is like that, he has no clue what to do whenever there's a dog around. I can't imagine him looking after someone's dog without any help. That woman also actively dislikes dogs. This isn't just inconvenience, it's a completely different thing.

She does not like dogs. I would not bring my dog there and I would not be spending long there if my dog had to stay at home. Simple

Women who don’t work outside the home are always expected to be available to fix their relatives’ problems. “Oh, she can do it, she doesn’t work! No one pays her a wage for her time, so clearly it’s worth nothing!”