Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If your uni student dc lives at home and commutes

77 replies

unistudentcommuting · 13/09/2026 17:39

Do they pay you any money for their “keep”?

I’ve changed a few details to avoid being outing and have NC.

My ds is planning on going to uni to study medicine. He’s looking at commuting to keep costs down. The unis he’s looking at are around 90 minutes by train from home. Although not diagnosed he is strongly suspected of having autism and ADHD and struggles socially. He’d be more comfortable living at home and commuting in to uni.
I’m a single parent claiming UC and I’m a full time carer for a family member who doesn’t live with us. I will go back to work once I’m no longer needed in that capacity but for now I’m doing around 40 hours a week in my caring role. I’m happy doing this and it suits my own situation that I won’t bore you with.
I don’t expect ds’s father will contribute in any way so Ds and I were talking about how he would be able to afford uni. He’d be able to get the full maintenance loan along with the tuition fees loan.
Money is tight as it is and without the child element I currently get for Ds I’m not sure how affordable him living at home whilst at uni will be. I don’t expect he will be able to get a job when studying because of the demands of the course that will be a challenge he for him as it is.
We rent and all bills and food come to around £2200 a month. I have a younger dc living at home too.

Does your living at home student pay you anything towards bills? Is it reasonable to even ask for a contribution?

I haven’t looked at how this would all work out yet in terms of costs but wanted to see what people do if in a similar situation.

OP posts:
walrushurricane · 16/09/2026 11:43

Timeforachange26 · 16/09/2026 09:57

Id it really that tough? My DN got into Imperial college at the first attempt ( he started a few weeks after his 18th birthday

It's quite often the luck of the draw. Obviously they have to do well at UCAT but the interview process seems very random.

DanaScullysLegoHair · 16/09/2026 12:10

OP, I understand where you're coming from with this. My son has started uni as a commuter student and I do charge him because I have to. I lost all financial help in July and his dad has stopped paying me any maintenance directly.

Circumstances dictate that he has to contribute. It is good for him to understand that as an adult he does have to pay his way sometimes.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page