Two prices of context as I believe its skewing both our reactions to this situation...I really did try to keep it short...
FiL has had serious mental health issues, which began in his early twenties, went into remission until he was in his late 50s, where he suffered a relapse which resulted in him being sectioned (DH was in his teens at the time, and it was awful for him as he had to help restrain him until the police arrived)
He spent the next 20 years being okay for a while then needing to spend some time in an in patient facility.
Unfortunately a few years ago, it got much worse and he made several serious attempts and needed to spend most of the year in an impatient facility (MiL and FIL are late 70's early 80's so obviously need a lot of support during this)
I had a period of depression around 10 years ago, and needed a few weeks off work, I always feel that he wasn't sympathetic to this and would say things like "sometimes I feel down and I remind myself I have a nice life and a job I enjoy etc etc" and seemed more concerned that I was getting sick pay which I feel was dismissive.
We have a 7 year old and a 3 month old, when I had DC1 I struggled a bit and mentioned to him that I felt I had PD and that I might speak to the doctor, his response was "That's not depression, depression is [mentions how his Dad tried to harm himself] come back to me when you feel like that - again I felt very dismissed.
When I was pregnant with DC2 I was very unwell, initially being anemic then had PGP to the point I couldn't walk more than a few feet and would cry in pain rolling over in bed. Again he wasnt supportive and felt like he was irritated with me being unwell.
A few weeks ago he started acting strangely, complaining of insomnia and being very quiet (hes normally very chatty) It came to a head at the bank holiday and he said he needed to see a doctor as he couldn't sleep and he was going to lose the plot if he couldn't find a way to sleep. I asked him how worried I should be and he wouldn't answer, I took him to the walk in centre where he was given 2 weeks of strong sleeping tablets and told to make an appointment with his doctor. I brought him home, he took one tablet, slept until 7 pm, took and other tablet and slept through to the morning and spend most of the next wee in bed.
I probably over reacted but I panicked and hid all the tablets in the house (I have strong painkillers left over from a c section) and was checking on him in the night, I was very worried as its the first time this has ever happened and he was acting very strangely - weve been together 20+ years
The issue I have is that as awful as it sounds, Im resenting him, its very clear that he needs to catch up on his sleep after being so sleep deprived and he constantly complains of being tired. However he was also able to go to hobby that takes most of the day two weekends since after saying he "couldnt face" going to the local village show where DC was performing with their school.
I honestly believe he isnt sleeping properly and is probably quite depressed. Ive been honest with him that he has behaved badly when Ive been unwell in the past and he does seem to be able to do things he wants to be do whereas hes not very present at home and he's appologied. He does seem to be making more of an effort (he's taken DC out for a few hours now for example) but I still feel torn between being very worried and resenting him, Im still recovering from pregnancy, still anemic, EBF a baby through the night and worn out most of the time.
Im trying to just ride it out (he sees the doctor this week) but Im being a bit of bitch and snapping and making digs which I know is awful, then feeling guilty and worried.