AIBU to forgive a friend who shouted at me and my children?

Yes, bin her off completely for life. She was aggressive and threatening to you and your children. You don’t need a monstrous ogre like her in your life.

Forgive her? No fucking way. If I'd been spoken/shouted at like that, the so called friend would have been given her character in no uncertain terms.🤬🤬

I'd rather have no friends than one like this hanging around my children

I know this always makes me laugh. It’s as if the entire country lives in zone one London.

No fucking way would that person ever be darkening my door again if they spoke to me and my kids like that. Your kids must have been really scared. Protect them.

Rather be all alone then have this friend

I think she was awful. It's bad enough just you but it was worse for your kids. I don't have kids but I do understand the scenario you describe....that's life. Were you going somewhere like a film or something that you had to be there at a certain time? In that situation I can understand her being annoyed but not to that degree.

Forgiveness is not synonymous with reconciliation. As someone who had an abusive friend I allowed into mine and my family’s lives and home for far too long, forgive her from a distance - you don’t need to maintain contact. We teach our children how we let people treat us. I really feel in my case, it was a primary factor in my daughter getting into an unhealthy relationship with an abusive young man during her teens. She had watched me endure the kind of thing you’ve described from when she was very young.

No way would I have put up with being shouted and ranted at like that when it was meant to be an enjoyable day out with the kids. I would have told her to get a grip and got out the car asap. You don’t need friends like that.

Your friend is abusive and that must have been scary, but you should have been ready and waiting for when she turned up, a child shouldn't have still been looking for their socks.

Let the friendship go if you don't like her behaviour, and work on your own timekeeping as well for the future.

She put you and your children in danger. No brainer. Although as others have said, why you carried on with the day is beyond me.

At the point she stopped at the filling station, I would have got out and called a taxi. It might make sense to do the Freedom Program @PretzelPretzel Just filling her car up after that is doormattery.

Your friend is abusive and a toxic shit show. Let her go and don’t look back or your kids get a front row seat at „how to befriend abusive people and tolerate their behaviour“.

Nope. Be done. Her behaviour is absolutely beyond normal. She sounds diagnosable and I would fear what she might do the next time I was around her.

Join stuff and meet other people. There is no apology here. If she called to say she was booked on to some counselling it would have been moderately less shit at least but that hasn't happened and you are just there to swallow and normalise her foul personality.

My god how on earth you still went ahead with the day out is beyond me. If anyone spoke to me like that especially in front of my children, that would be a big no. Completely unacceptable. She should acknowledge that going out with other people often means inconveniences like this happen. That is part and parcel of having a day trip planned tbh especially with kids. If an adult cannot understand that, I would not waste my time with them.

I live in rural Somerset and we have taxi’s here, I had no idea they are supposedly a city invention!

There is absolutely no beed of her to shout, scream & swear at you,however u should have been ready for when she arrived, its ur job as a parent to make sure children r dressed in tidy clothes / socks & shoes. It seems this friendship may have run its course.

I get really irritated if people are late (more than 15 minutes) for no good reason, because it means that they do not value my time at all.

An example - a friend was once 30 minutes late to meet me because she'd stayed to have dessert before leaving home.

This person completely overreacted and by driving as she did while so enraged put you and your kids at risk of being in an accident.

I would immediately have got out of her car and cancelled the day out when she started ranting.

You know it will probably happen again because she always thinks she's in the right, and therefore her rage is justified in her eyes.

I would end this 'friendship', which anyway sounds exploitative (why do YOU always pay for everything?).

Put some effort into meeting new people and making new friends.

She’s a nasty, abusive, controlling piece of shit. Forgiveness does not need to mean letting her back into your life especially as she won’t do anything about it. She is most likely being manipulative in saying that you probably shouldn’t be friends anymore and expecting you to tell her everything is ok and forgive, forget and repeat.

Time to lose this friend, ahe isnt a friend and I’d rather have no friends than her. Yes annoying but life and a text message I’m assuming saying you will be a few minutes late. Shouting whike in control of a vehicle with children (and you) inside as guests is a huge safeguarding concern. I’d have bailed at the petrol station with children and got a cab or bus home. You cannot trust someone like this around your children. No ifs no buts, gone.

Please, please, PLEASE stay away from her.

Read my post above. I was in the friend's situation once. I dealt with it by not making any more arrangements and we stayed friends making our own way to events. I did not rant and rave and shout at anybody because I am a normal person.

Where does the OP say that she is continually late? And what contempt are you referring to? I admit we are only hearing the OP’s side of the story. It’s not a court. But you’re making stuff up.

Absolutely you shouldn’t forgive her. She needs to learn that it’s not acceptable and you won’t accept it. Not that I think you should be friends with her after that either.

I’m another one who would have left the car at the petrol station. She basically tried to kidnap you all for the day by refusing to stop (tried as in you could have got out later).

I’ve had enough of that sort of thing with my ex husband.

Let her go, yes.
if she’s a good friend you gently need to suggest she finds out what is going on in the background to make her do this.
my husband has similar behaviours (but always with me, never with friends). He has severe ADHD and RSD. His has severe childhood trauma from an emotionally manipulative mother.

I also don’t think it’s unreasonable for an adult and two nearly teen children to be ready and waiting if they know the time they are being picked up. Punctuality doesn’t seem to count for anything these days.