AIBU to think we now live in a society where nobody cares about other people’s experiences in social spaces?

I recently asked such a man to stop yelling into his phone on the bus because the driver was announcing a diversion - naturally I got an earful! Whilst I do appreciate some cultures have different attitudes to public space I wish everyone would get an ‘indoor voice’ and use it everywhere.

99% of the time I ask people to stop. This has varying results. Recently a man squared up to me on the tube and he and his boyfriend yelled at me and called me a bitch. I also have to say that unfortunately it’s people of all ages and backgrounds (though anecdotally I think some are over-represented.)

It drives me insane. Nowhere is sacred anymore. Even having a coffee in a park, and the peace is thwarted. I was watching tv at home one day, all chilled and across from my house was an African man on the phone on loudspeaker shouting to whoever was on the other end. It wasn't even an aggressive call, I know this because I heard every word!

Well if the speed of the bike is above the speed limit and you have a facial pic of rider police could clock him or the bike like they do number plates and stop him and issue a fine - I’m meaning once the tech is refined

bit not if facial recognition is banned but that would be a serious missed opportunity. I know some people are misidentified but it’s a tiny amount (if you think how many are checked at say football matches) who can be sorted later. It would be a bit like the transgender laws introduced for a tiny number of individuals but affec ting many

What is with the talking loudly into the speakerphone as the person is walking around a shop, walking around the town, using public transport? I’ve noticed this is a cultural thing too.

How do you think this will be ‘dealt with?’ There are no consequences, which is why theft is rampant and anti social behaviour endemic amongst youths.

Where I used to live it was a culturally acceptable thing. Mostly African commuters with one or two whites and my goodness that bus was loud with people talking on their phones on loudspeaker or people playing their music and social media reels out loud. They also thought nothing about pushing on the bus and those buses were diabolical! I could've been waiting an hour for it, queue is formed and daily, some African person would turn up and go right to the front when the bus arrived. Most of it was a cultural unawareness, rather than them being twats, but it made me pledge never to move to Africa. I love peace and quiet and a nice formed queue.

I then moved to a majority white area and the commute is heaven. Very occasionally will there be a phone played out loud, but it's usually turned down or off with everyone's stares and tuts.o

What sit on their knees? I mean the seats aren’t available for locals if others are sitting on them - cafe owners can only take up so much of the pavement.

Of course mass migration is a factor. Different cultures do not mesh together well as a general rule shown throughout human history. There are exceptions, notable exceptions which result in a flowering, but in general they have not worked. And there is a majority of men migrants and they are causing issues in crime.

The res publica required thought and energy to set up. Thats gone now. Everything is all just about the money. There are a large number of factors involved, but a bunch of men with different ideas, distinctly encouraged to not integrate with ours, do not help.

To my mind this is result of a ‘checking out of community,’ mindset. People no longer give a shit, and it shows.

I commute by train and agree that the selfishness of people watching loud videos, listening to loud musics, conducting lengthy conversations on speaker. I find it really irritating. Once, a woman conducted a whole meeting on teams at too volume.

I hadn’t thought about the headphones issue but it’s a very good point. There’s much more faffing about with ear buds or headphones. I guess the other thing is that there is so much more available in terms of films, visions etc. I listen to Podcasts on my commute as it does tine out the noise to some degree.

Agree completely. My brother and family visited us this summer he is 50 years old and we were at the beach together. I could hear music playing and was looking around to see who was being so rude and realised it was him. Made him turn it off immediately, but he really couldn’t not understand the problem

I rarely go out and if I do it's just to the GP, dentist or vet or something like that but inevitably everyone has their noses stuck in their phones. Honestly a disaster could happen and they'd not notice. DP is just the same now as well. I am a rare bird who doesn't take my phone with me and sits observing the world going by. I noticed the other day the magazines that are normally in the waiting room have gone. I imagine commuting is far worse with the sounds of devices on, people have become very selfish on top of their addiction to the online world. Days of Noah. If you know, you know.

I agree but one day on a bus with someone have a speakerphone conversation I did stop myself thinking how annoying because what difference would it make itnthat person on the other end was sitting next to them having the conversation. Maybe its cos the sound is more irritating over speakerphone as ots more high pitched iyswim. Obviously if the speak phone volume os up too high akin to someone shouting then I tell them to turn the volume down instead.

Cinema one I agree with

At the scout hall

i work fir a local CVS, nearly every local authority area has one. It's our job to advise abd support local communities that want to do things like this. In my experience immediately jump to "oh we just can't! All the rules!" without asking for help to discover the reality which is that there are some rules, they're generally not that onerous abd there are organisations like mine that can help

What is antisocial about having a chat at a cafe? You could do the same with your friends if you wanted to.

There isn’t the technology to catch 90% of hit and run drivers who flee https://www.psychreg.org/what-percentage-hit-runs-are-solved/

so I doubt they’d be able to catch other road users fleeing either

Mass migration is a factor -the outdoor cafe seating in the town centre where I live has men smoking and chatting in foreign languages presumably immigrants - I’m sure they’d give you a seat if you asked but no one seems to

I’ve seen plenty of older people doing these annoying, anti social things too. Maybe they are the parents of the younger culprits. Like begets like.

Oh FFS.

To tell someone they are upsetting others isn’t something they can cope with, they’ve not had confrontation for their actions. There knee jerk is to attack the accuser

people don’t know how to take responsibility for what they do, a simple sorry and turn off the screen doesn’t cross their mind

Put more simply, the concept of a public sphere distinct from a private sphere is dead. The res publica is dead.

All there is now is everyone’s individual private sphere and their wants. It is

It's not just health and safety that gets in the way, insurance can be hugely restrictive. Between health and safety, and insurance restrictions, I don't think there's anywhere I could host a weekly lunch club near me.
Where does your lunch club meet?

They’re hot on their rights because they have those rights - Govs have been overjoyed to appear righteous and bring in this law and that law over the last 20 odd years with no one speaking up for the downsides.

Its maybe due to a lack of clear thinking by Govs and the ‘something must be done ‘ attitude of the media - and two political parties scoring points over what the other hasn’t done

Everybody is extremely hot on their “rights”

Unfortunately some seem to be lacking any “responsibility”.

It’s not even to close to most lacking it. But there’s enough people who do that it impacts society as a whole.