To cancel going to friends wedding

That's fair... but still, this option being completely ignored...

Silly bloody bint, whatever was she thinking @Watdidusay and why on earth are her parents fawning over this ridiculous behaviour? Oh, no, apparently the Entire Universe needs to clear its calendar for Her Majesty 🙄🙄🙄

Maybe her DH doesn't want to go to his sister's last minute wedding? Maybe he's happy to honour his original commitment with someone who cared about his attendance?

If you’re going to book your wedding for within a few weeks then it makes sense to make sure everyone close to you is free.

we booked our wedding and got married 16 weeks later, we made sure our parents, siblings, aunts and uncles were all free hence why our wedding was 16 weeks later as people had plans for other dates,

Exactly, if her siblings attendance is so important why doesn’t SIL change the date so both can attend? Ah, she’s already committed to the date, she’s already paid money.
Exactly the same as what OP and her DH have done.
this is not about DH choosing OPs friend over his sister. MIL is bro v manipulative to suggest it is.
I wonder if they’d be getting g the same pressure if it was a 2 week holiday booked or elective surgery or a period of time that either couldn’t get off work. Probably given the level of entitlement.

You keep ignoring this solution...

You must be actually physically attached to your DH

Your in-laws need to see this differently...

Their son has made a commitment and is sticking to it. That is something to be applauded, not criticized.

Why on earth would you want to encourage your own child to be flaky?????

If it is so important to have him (and you) attend the wedding then they need to change the wedding date, as you already have a wedding to attend that weekend.

Who made a mistake? The OP says the SIL has snapped up a last minute cancellation.

What may be cheap and convenient for SIL is not necessarily cheap and convenient for everyone else.

@Watdidusay I thought this would be the case. She got a cut price deal on a venue due to a cancellation.
In which case she has made an active decision that the discount usurps guest availablity. That's on her.

Most people organising weddings check in with family/ friends they really want to be there before booking a date - this is normal in wedding planning. Your SIL didn't do this. That's on her.

She made a mistake, is it worth missing the wedding? If my friend told me her partner now can’t come because his sister is getting married I would think nothing of it, never would I expect a friends partner to come to mine over their sisters even if they can committed to mine. I don’t know how you could sit and enjoy someone else’s wedding whist your siblings is happening. Shit happens, I wouldn’t punish my family over a mistake. I would never expect my partner to miss his siblings and come to my friends either, surely it can be explained to friend and they could pay the meal?

I’m guessing she’s getting a discounted rate for a last minute booking.

So your friends should be ditched so she can make a financial saving. Eff that.

Are you teaching your kids it's ok to renage on a prior commitment? Shameful if you are. If sister wanted them there she should have arranged it properly.

I would have been really upset if my brother missed my wedding. That's why I checked the date with him (and other close family and friends) before I booked it. This is on the sister for not doing that.

completley agree, no way would I miss a siblings wedding for my partners friends wedding. No way would I miss my best friend for my partners sister. He should go to his sisters and you go to your friends.
I would also be devastated if my child was missing my other child’s wedding fit their partners friend. It doesn’t need to be this hard, you can separate for a while

Thanks for reply.

I wouldn't do it myself, but can sort of understand someone being swayed by a big discount to book on the spot - it's good sales technique by the venue.

However I would still have messaged the family WhatsApp (for both B&G) and likely best Man and bridesmaid to check they would all be free, before committing.
She chose not to do that so she now has the consequences she has - people she wants there (or her parents want there) can't make it. It is a risk she took.

You and your dh are absolutely doing the right thing.

So basically her need for the venue outweighed everyone else’s plans?

I'm interested @Watdidusay - do you know if your SiL just suddenly arranged this wedding with 6 weeks notice, or if it was all booked but - for whatever reason - she decided not to tell people until then, but had booked stuff ages ago.

He is not choosing his friend over his sister, he is choosing (quite correctly) to remember that he has already committed to something when a later invitation comes in.

If (as you would expect), his sister wants him at her wedding, then she should have done what all normal people would have done, and checked with the crucial people before fixing on a date.

Had the invitations arrived on the same day, or had the sister said 'we are going to get married this Autumn - don't book anything' 12 months ago, then he could have spoken to her before committing to anything else, but she didn't, so OP AND her dh are unfortunately committed on that date.

Exactly, there really are a couple of strange posts on here now, you should never be letting people down 6 weeks before unless its an absolute emergency

Of course they do, if they cared if they were there or not. I have 2 big holidays booked, one in in 6 weeks, if my sibling announced they were getting married then I wouldn't be cancelling my hols, but there is literally no chance that would happen as my sibling would care if I was there so would check, same as I did for them.

I wouldn't, they couldnt even be arsed to check they were free before booking only 6 weeks in advance. They clearly didnt actually care if they attended!

Well if they cared so much they should have checked his availability.

Well she shouldn’t be choosing to book a wedding without checking her family are free!

Is this how you go about your life?

That is a ludicrous attitude to take.
I sincerely hope your husband is sticking up for you?