Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel unappreciated and exhausted in my relationship?

12 replies

Quirkypenguin · 12/09/2026 19:59

I feel that I am not appreciated in my relationship, I work 5 days a week, do majority of the housework and drop off our child every morning before work.

My partner works the same 5 days a week as I do, however he left 2 jobs in a row without really consulting me first just 3 months after we bought a house. That left me shouldering the burden financially, he now has a job where he starts at 6:30am he gets up at 5:30am and it wakes our child so then I have to get up at 5:30 and I don’t start work till much later, I am absolutely exhausted and I’m working 6 days this week, I was ill last night (not sure if food poisoning or stomach bug) and our daughter woke at 5am on our day off, stupidly I hoped my partner may get up with her since I’d been so ill the night before but no he laid in bed while I got the etc this morning. This afternoon I asked him to watch her while I listed a few things for sale online as money is tight at the minute and all our toddler did was scream and cry downstairs the entire time, I shouted down to him to do her tea as she was probably hungry which he ignored, so when I came downstairs I had to make her dinner as well . I ended up arguing with him afterward cause I feel so unappreciated and ignored

AIBU?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Bonkers1966 · 13/09/2026 18:49

You bought a house with a selfish uncaring man.

bebanjo · 13/09/2026 18:42

Look at your options for leaving/ asking him to leave.
get support in place.
he will not change, there is no fixing. It will be like this until you leave, the choice you have is will it be sooner or later.

Quirkypenguin · 13/09/2026 18:37

bebanjo · 13/09/2026 09:33

If he needs to be told this and you except having to tell him everything he needs to do you will still be exhausted.
he is an adult, he has a job if he can navigate his job he can see what needs doing at home, he simply doesn’t want to.

It is exhausting, If I do tell him it’s excuses as to why he can’t or won’t do something, when I confronted him about not doing out child's dinner he said he didn’t hear me ask, when I said why didn’t you get up with her he said he didn’t feel well either

OP posts:
Evaka · 13/09/2026 18:36

He's a complete fucking loser. Don't have more children with him OP!!!!

Quirkypenguin · 13/09/2026 18:35

nomas · 12/09/2026 20:25

Tell him to shape up or get out.

What is the housing situation?

We bought a house together 3 months ago, which is why I was so upset about him leaving two jobs (we’ve been together 5 years and were renting before this)

OP posts:
TwinklyAmberSloth · 13/09/2026 09:38

He is serving no purpose in the relationship. Just a hindrance.

You need to have this conversation with him.

bebanjo · 13/09/2026 09:33

whippersnapper55 · 12/09/2026 22:56

It sounds like he needs a good kick up the behind to start pulling his weight! If you're both working, you need to sit down and agree a proper split of the household chores and be very firm that you are not doing it all! If he doesn't get up with your child when you're ill then you need to tell him straight 'you have to get up with daughter now because I've been up in the night and I need to sleep'.

If he's waking you early when he goes to work, tell him he'll need to be quieter or sleep downstairs and wash and dress there.

If he needs to be told this and you except having to tell him everything he needs to do you will still be exhausted.
he is an adult, he has a job if he can navigate his job he can see what needs doing at home, he simply doesn’t want to.

whippersnapper55 · 12/09/2026 22:56

It sounds like he needs a good kick up the behind to start pulling his weight! If you're both working, you need to sit down and agree a proper split of the household chores and be very firm that you are not doing it all! If he doesn't get up with your child when you're ill then you need to tell him straight 'you have to get up with daughter now because I've been up in the night and I need to sleep'.

If he's waking you early when he goes to work, tell him he'll need to be quieter or sleep downstairs and wash and dress there.

nomas · 12/09/2026 20:25

Tell him to shape up or get out.

What is the housing situation?

thistimelastweek · 12/09/2026 20:06

Bottom line is he's not your partner in any way that counts.
Partners work together towards a common goal.
So, what's your goal and how do you want to achieve it?
With or without him.

bebanjo · 12/09/2026 20:04

After recently ending a 20 year marriage, I would say he will not change.
decide now what you want.

RoniaCheetah · 12/09/2026 20:01

What's the point of him? He clearly adds nothing to your life.

Swipe left for the next trending thread