AIBU to feel hurt that my husband will not read my book?

I’ve written three books and have contracts for a further two. My DH has never read my of them and I’ve never asked him to. It’s my work. I wouldn’t read his work reports. We’re definitely a good team when it counts but we are also separate people. I don’t need his validation or critique. For some people reading any book just isn’t enjoyable. I’d brush it off and try to find pride in your achievement, rather than needing reassurance from your DH.

As your husband, he should definitely have made the time and read it.

It might not be out of lack of care for your that he didn’t - sometimes, I find if my job is taking up so much of my brain, and then there’s stuff with the kids to think of, I find I don’t have any more of my brain left to give to others by eg reading their stuff. I just want a bit of brain space for myself, and it’s not offence to anyone, j just have nothing left. If he’s like that, it isn’t a slight on you.

You Mum and sister at least sound supportive!

I would make the changes you agree with, keep working on it, and see how it goes looking for agents without his input.

Theres no limit to the amount of books the world needs after all! And either way, you can enjoy doing it.

I'm hoping one day, when DH retires or works a less full on job, that he will write a book. I absolutely cannot imagine declining to read it if he asked me too. In fact I would be very hurt if he didn't. Good luck with your book. And absolutely do not help with his course.

@ANNotherWriter I just wanted to apologise for my unnecessary comment “I’d hate to be you if you think this is a big effort from a loved one.” that was a ridiculous thing to say, I’m sorry.

completely disagree, if you can't look to the person you've agreed to spend the rest of your life with, the person whom you've promised to love and cherish and value above all others, who can you?

I understand if he didn't want to read the whole book. But 1 chapter? How is that too much? I doubt OP particularly wanted to spend presumably much longer than the half an hour it would have taken him proof-reading all his essays, but she did it as a favour to him. Now she's asked him tor return the favour, and he won't. That's not fair, and it doesn't matter if the favour was reading her first chapter or watching her choir perform, or popping to the shops for paracetamol when she's feeling ill - it's a small favour that will barely impact him but would mean a lot to her.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter if it's reading a book, cheering for them at the end of a marathon, or listening to their moan about their manager, (or, indeed, proof reading their essays) if your spouse can't spend the occasional half an hour to support you, why should anyone?

What you're suggesting is completely different - essentially reciprocity where specialists provide criticism and help on the basis they get the same something back. OP doesn't expect detailed literary criticism from her husband - she wants him to acknowledge something she's put a lot of work and effort into, that's all.

I'd be really upset in your shoes too OP. Even more after you'd told him how much it had hurt you. If he had any doubts about reading it and feeling awkward or if he wouldn't know what to say if he didn't like it, that was the point at which to bring it up (well, actually the second point), not lie to you and say he'd been busy (he hadn't) and would read it (when he wouldn't).

And if he does think it's shit he can think of a gentle and constructive way to tell her. That seems a pretty basic thing to expect from one's spouse.

So if he does read it and tells you it’s shit, you’re not going to come on here and complain he said it shit? I think it’s pretty obvious he has that issue.

I think it's poor he wouldn't read even a chapter OP.
I definitely would rethink how muchbyou help him.
Time to match his energy on that score.
Eaten bread is quickly forgotten.

I think you have to be in the mood for reading, give him time.

It’s a huge ask though, to ask some one to spend hours reading an (un edited draft) of a novel, about something you may have zero interest in.

your mum sister and bestie all sound like legends though, a bunch of wonderful people!

I had a friend write a book and ask us to read it. I never did because I’m rubbish at lying and feared I wouldn’t be able to be enthusiastic about it. Maybe that’s why your husband is putting it off.

I've written and published multiple books.
My husband hasn't read any of them.
In the past, I would occasionally ask him to read something. His comments were of the "this phrasing is slightly awkward" type, not anything about the big idea, the structure, anything really useful, particularly when I was far from the close edits stage and had told him I really didn't want the nit-picking tiny edits at this stage.
I honestly don't care. One relationship doesn't have to meet every need.

And, actually, as I write and publish more, I ask fewer and fewer people to read. Too many cooks spoil the broth and, increasingly, I trust my own opinion. Now, my agent is often the first person to read a manuscript.

If my OH wrote a book and asked me to read it, I wouldn’t give a shit what it was about, I’d read it because he asked me to. You don’t seek your OH’s opinion, that’s fine, she has and it’s not asking a lot to expect him to giver her his opinion.

I love reading and be happy to read if you want to send me a copy and I will give you my honest opinion

but yes dh should read and support you

DH is a musician (part time alongside main money earning career) and I don’t listen to all his new music. It’s too exposing. I don’t enjoy the feeling of being too close to it. This is your thing, not his. You do not need his approval or compliments for it to have value.

My DH has never read any of my books and I don't give a jot. He doesn't read women's fiction. It's not his thing. I won't ask him as I know he would not enjoy it.
It makes no difference to me. I don't need his opinion.

Yes it is a big effort if it's not something a partner is interested in.
I have many friends who are published writers. Their partners do not read their books. That's not to say their partners don't give them credit for writing a book.

OP has written a book.
Loads of people write books. She's not had it edited, she's not asked anyone outside of her family/friends to read it. MOST people who are serious about writing ask unknowns to read it- beta readers- and then spend another year doing edits.
I had 3 drafts before mine went out to agents.

I’ve had several stories published. My partner read the first one and merely quoted one line to prove he had. Don’t think he read any more of them. Similar with sister, so I think I’ve learned to get my feedback from people who don’t know me.

I'm so jealous I'm doing a creative writing MA and completely failing to do the actual sitting down and typing bit 😭

My husband doesn't read my stuff. You need to join a group or do a course, you all workshop each other and it is WAY more valuable than your spouse's opinion. I feel like my DH supports me in many ways, but this isn't where he'd be most useful 😉

I would be really upset.

At the very least we should show support towards our loved ones.

Even if he isn’t a reader, he could still read a couple pages a day.

He might be anxious and avoiding it? Hope you keep going though.

Unless it’s high fantasy, 120k words is way too long. Most books are around 90k. Perhaps you need to work through the edits which have been suggested and then ask him to read the version which you think is the very best, not one which you know needs work.

Yeah, I think it’s a bit shit that he hasn’t read it.

There have been some posts here from published authors. However, yours isn’t the same situation. You’re not churning out books one after the other and expecting him to read them all.

This is your first attempt and you would, quite rightly, like to see some support and enthusiasm.

I’m just wondering why he hasn’t bothered. He may not want to put in the ‘effort’ of reading it and feeling like he has to give you a detailed critique. He might be afraid it’s not any good and doesn’t want to have to tell you. He might be worried that it IS good and will possibly be envious of your achievement. Otherwise, who knows.

Anyway, really well done and good luck!

Can’t see that my DH would ever read my work. I would be so anxious for feedback and he’d ago straight into avoidance, it would be a terrible idea.

Does he ever read books? You say he doom scrolls but that’s a totally different brain activity.