AIBU to feel hurt that my husband will not read my book?

Maybe he's a bit jealous or envious of what you have accomplished especially when he needs your help with his essays??

I dont know how id actually have felt on the day. I was more annoyed at the repeated suggestions they would "love to come" which never materialised!!

Well done for writing a book!
I can understand why you feel upset that your husband hasn’t read it – it’s because it’s something so personal and meaningful for you.
Maybe he’s just waiting until when he’s got enough time to focus on it?
Your mum and sister sound great!

My son is a writer and I felt awful when he sent me the first draft. I wasn't that keen to read it because what if I hated it after he had invested so much time. ( Luckily I did like it). Maybe your husband feels like that, or maybe he isn't a reader?

I think you've just found out how utterly selfish and self-absorbed your husband is, OP. I would seriously hold this against him. What an utter twat.

In the gentlest way - you seem incredibly needy. If you believe in your book then roll up your sleeves, get editing and then find a list of appropriate agents to approach. If not then there's always the old adage that everyone has a book inside them - and in your case that's where it should stay.

It’s the opening chapter!!!

My husband has never read a book. Well, not never but it’s not something he’d do easily or for fun. I would never expect him to read a book I’d written for that reason - unless I got AI to do an audio version. Could you do that or use a text to speech app so he could listen?

I have a close family member who is an author and sometimes it does get a bit uncomfortable as she’ll sometimes subconsciously put in something that relates to our family or similar.

Recently she gave a cat in her book a joke name that I’d mentioned to her that I was thinking of naming a future pet!

He could’ve made the effort if it’s a few chapters. That said, if you want genuinely objective views on whether something is shit, I wouldn’t ask my mum, sister, husband, and best friend.

It’s not that usual for writers’ partners to read their work, at least before publication. Margaret Atwood’s husband never read any of her work in draft. I’m a novelist, and DH seldom reads mine. I have a fair few novelist friends, and I’d say that was normal.

OP, as pps have said, friends and family reading your work in progress isn’t that useful — find a writing group, online or in person, or a class. It puts people in an awkward position. I only read one friend’s’ work, and only because we can be brutally honest either one another. I’ve had to tell her that a 25,000 word subplot she’d spent months on needed scrapping etc.

I used to do the same job, but I really wouldn’t have wanted my family to come and watch me in court!

You support him, so he really should be supporting you too. He’s being a bit emotionally inept and short sighted.

As it stands, personally I wouldn’t want to help him write his essays.

I think you need to speak up before you really start to feel resentful, which would be destructive for both of you.

Wishing you all the very best with your book.

Oof. I have several people in my family with books published and I can’t bear the thought of reading any of them (even though they’re genres or subjects I would read). And once a friend sent me their draft and it was only when the email arrived that I realised I didn’t much like that thought either, even though I’d read their first novel ok.

it’s just weird to have a monologue from someone you’re used to conversation/dialogue with. Feels wrong.

My DM and DH both promised to read my first book. Neither of them did. I didn't really expect them to. It was a book on Taxation which might have had something to do with it.

I would feel way too weird reading a book someone that close to me had written - especially before it was published.

A distant friend of mine is a published author and I’ve read a couple of her books and it feels so strange to me even though we’re not close.

I read my auntys script. It was horrifically bad! I tried to give some feedback but really I was like - put the whole thing in the bin and start again! 🙈

I loved her very much so I did give some feedback. But I wouldn’t be keen to do this again! Stressful!

I’m an author and I’ve never asked my husband to read my first drafts. He read my books after they were published. I love him but I don’t need his advice; he’s not really into fiction. I remember reading a friend’s manuscript many years ago and it was so bad, I didn’t mention it again. This stuff is really awkward to navigate! I just prefer not to embroil my husband in it.

I take all the above on board. Will join some groups, take some classes and get proper beta reviews. It may turn into nothing at all, but it's been fun to write and I should hold that close rather than looking to family for validation

This sounds like a good way forward. I haven’t read all the responses, so it may have been said - but organisations like CityLit and Faber and Curtis Brown run some great courses as well as some universities who deliver evening online and in-person writing courses.

And yes I agree - don’t look to family for validation, it’s very nice your mother and sister doing all of that, but really what you need is a writers group or one or two trusted writers that you can do manuscript swap with so you can critique each others stuff.

I didn’t ask nor want any friend or family to read my manuscript and even after I was published, I didn’t really want anyone I know (other than fellow writers) to read my books!

That said if it’s important to you it’s a shame he hasn’t at least enquired as to the genre or asked you much about it. I remember doing my dissertation and struggling. I was dating one guy who wouldn’t even help me by reading over it. I had a male (platonic) friend who did offer to read it and I remember thinking - if my friend will do more for me than a boyfriend what’s the point. Lol.

So I do appreciate how hurtful it can be.

Did he cheer you on and encourage you during the process at least?

This is so well articulated. I have several writers in my family and I now feel ashamed to say I haven’t got around to reading absolutely everything. There is something so personal about it and it feels strange in a way.

I totally understand why it's hurtful but people are so weird about this stuff. I used to be a criminal barrister and all my family would say "id love to watch you in court". Not one person ever came. Even my parents. Including my dad who would regularly go to watch his mate who was a judge in court.

I think some people feel oddly voyeuristic about it. But I would be hurt too.

Really? I’ve just read a 450page book in 2 days. Not sure why people are acting like it’s the original Way of Kings or Oathbringer (both over 1000 pages).

It’s not THAT long.

the key thing here is I've never asked him to.

If you don't want your DH to read your books that's fine. But OP has asked hers to, and he agreed to. Promising you will do something and then backing out is shit no matter what, particularly if it's a very easy favour that will cost you minimum effort, and even more so if it's something your spouse has made clear means a lot to them.

I do wonder what some people think marriage is, if they don't seem to think they should ever put themselves out the slightest bit to do something that isn't their particular preference, just because it would mean a lot to their DH/DW, and vice versa. Although tbh I also expect that if OP had posted saying 'My DH has been spending every spare minute of the last few months writing a book and is hugely excited about it, he said it would mean a huge deal to him if I read just the first chapter, I promised I would but tbh I just can't really be arsed, AIBU?' people would be slating her!

I find it odd that you would go in to your husband’s emails and delete stuff. It would be nice if he read it but he probably is afraid of non liking it and upsetting you and some men read very little.
i have easy access to my husband’s emails but would never go through them and delete stuff.

Her own husband? Drop everything?! He’s been watching fishing show repeats!