To want to know why I feel so tired/ill all the time!!

A lot of these conditions are also linked to and have an overlap with ADHD/neurodiversity. Which causes awful fatigue as your nervous system is on high alert much more than neurotypical people. Plus the masking etc.

It’s actually fascinating how all these conditions can be linked - see also ADHD and POTS, MCAS, CFS,
Long Covid..

I have ADHD and have basically been tired my whole life! I need a lot more sleep than most (which I don’t get). I used to marvel at how much energy other people had. Having kids then perimenopause made it worse.

OP you are still doing 4 hours of a physical job each day then strength training 4 times a week then looking after kids? Plus normal life. Your body doesn’t distinguish between the activities.

I’m only saying this as I have a physical job (fitness instructor) and I completely underestimated the impact it had on me and I would layer other activities on top (dog walking, running…). I exhausted myself (and ended up with long Covid). You need proper rest. We need to give ourselves permission to rest.

I think it’s likely that you’re not eating enough food. Which will sound counter intuitive when you’re trying to lose weight. But your activity levels are high, when plugged into a tdee calculator (google it) your maintenance calories will be close to 2200-2500. So you’re in a large deficit for a long time, which is not conducive to feeling good. If I were you I’d gradually increase by a couple of hundred calories, carbs probably, and eat at maintenance for 3 months while maintaining your activity.
Then you can judge how you really feel.
I don’t know anyone who feels energised in a calorie deficit long term.

Look up @dr.jennale on tik tok for more on this.

That's still 4 hours of cleaning, plus exercise, plus a 5 year old.

I don't mean to be patronising or write off your concerns, but also are you sure you have realistic expectations for being in your early 40's...?

Life is bloody knackering!

Perimenopause is definitely worth looking into though and if you feel a doctor is fobbing you off then ask for another until you are taken seriously. It's well known now that it can start in late 30's/ early 40's!

What are you eating to support your gut microbiome? I would be looking to support this given your issues with bowel movements. I may be wrong but from your early posts it looked like you were not getting many fermented foods or fibre. I would fix this before introducing any supplements.

I could have written that! I lost so far 40kg as they said losing weight would help.
Nope, still tired, in fact MORE tired. More sore. I fall asleep at the drop of a hat.
Bloods all normal - well in normal range. I have MTFR, as well as an autoimmue condition and genetic condition - all cause fatigue.
I do take supplements, so they are normal WITH these.
I am also on MJ for the weight loss - which even in a deficit is not losing me any.

They didn't check my T3 though...so I might ask about that as THAT is the one that actually fuels you.

With MTHFR the conversion of t4 to t3 is impaired - which results in general BLEUGH ness.

That is true, but these are good. They help identify what you might need to eliminate, I wouldn’t have known without doing it but 12 weeks elimination diet was a challenge!

Check thyroid please. Also what are you doing to alight your soul
x

If you drink too much water your body will just dispose of it in the normal way. I wouldn't worry about that.

As an above poster said - you have a full on physical job, a 5 year old, and you are strength training 4 x a week.

That is a pretty exhausting life and you are in your early 40's... you may be perimenopausal. It could be that your life is just full on, combined with your age/ hormones.

Also that wasn’t my experience at all. My experience was my periods became a bloodbath needing medication to stop them as I was also bleeding for weeks at a time.

Please speak to your GP about perimenopause and just because they are young doesn’t mean you’ll get fobbed off. All the symptoms you describe sound so similar to the ones I had.

Yes this ... ferrous fumarate is not expensive to buy.

Honestly do not underestimate perimenopause. I did and was much like you from 41-45. Started HRT and my god the difference is very noticeable in energy levels.

The iron won’t absorb - better to have orange juice

Just make sure you dont have the coffee within an hour of the iron tablets. Its best to take the iron first thing then wait at least an hour for coffee or tea.

You poor thing, you sound very overwhelmed and ping-ponging from hoped-for-solution to hoped-for-solution.

I'd write a list of all the suggestions and then order them by most likely / easiest to implement.

Personally I would

• cut out energy drinks. I know people who drank a lot of them as students and felt much better when they gave them up. Sorry. Even if not the ultimate cause, they are terrible for you. I'd find something else to view as a treat.
• I'd cut out caffeine in general, as it is known to increase anxiety, so I wonder if you'd feel less anxious without it. I know several people who felt much less anxious when they cut it out. Hopefully also improved iron adsorption and improved sleep.
• reduce water intake to 1.5-2l per day.
• Start an iron supplement take with a satsuma/vitamin C source.

After that,

• I'd swap 0% yoghurt to full fat Greek yoghurt as 0% is upf with added junk.
• I'd cut out protein powder (or at least check the ingredients - some has a lot of sugar and unknown stuff added).
• breakfast can be anything you like if it's not upf. So full fat Greek yoghurt with chopped fruit on top. Left over chicken from dinner. Peanut butter on toast. Porridge. Eggs and nuts. Any food can be breakfast food!

After that, if I still felt the same, I'd be exploring further testing.

Cut out caffeine. It's incredibly addictive - the short lived energy burst it supplies fades very quickly. You then slump and crave more caffeine until your next hit. It's a vicious circle.

Expect awful withdrawal headaches for the first few days.

Most food intolerance tests are utter rubbish. Food diary and elimination diet is the only reliable option if you suspect you have one.