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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to know why I feel so tired/ill all the time!!

235 replies

Bamboozle30001 · 12/09/2026 18:22

I'm 41, 5ft 7in 12 stone and I strength train for half an hour 4 days a week. I do under 20k steps due to being a cleaner 5 days a week. I eat very well and log my food on myfitnesspal.

Last week doctors thought my gallbladder was inflamed but, bloods, urine and a further physical exam all came back fine. Then why for the love of God am I am ALWAYS tired?Energy drinks or black coffee do nothing. I sleep for 8 hours.

I'd had a previous blood test a few weeks back as I suspected perimenopause but apart from high reading of b12...which I have no idea where that came from as I don't eat much in the way of the foods mentioned that are fortified, or take vitamin supplements either. I do have fibroids, but still I constantly feel tired and just generally unwell. Like the feeling that you're coming down with a cold, just run down all the bastard time.

Would it be worth getting a private doctor and see if there's any other tests or something because I am fed up of feeling like this.

OP posts:
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Delatron · Today 08:48

StrengthAfter40 · Yesterday 12:44

I think this is really interesting because it seems so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that more exercise must always be better.
I’ve been wondering about this myself, particularly with strength training. There must be a point where doing more simply adds to the overall load rather than making you feel better.
I’m increasingly interested in the idea of adjusting what you do depending on how you actually feel that day, rather than deciding in advance that you have to train X number of times a week.
I’d be really interested to know whether anyone here has experimented with doing less on the days when they’re particularly exhausted, and whether it made any difference.

I have definitely dialled down the exercise. Especially intense exercise. I don’t run anymore and I strength train around 3 times a week.

I had long Covid so I very much need to listen to my body. It has been a good lesson to be honest. I did used to overdo it - I’d run no matter how I felt and I never listened to my body.

Iheartmysmart · Today 08:31

OneLilacHedgehog · Yesterday 15:47

Private iron transfusions are for people with too much money. Better eating a steak.

Utter nonsense. The haematologist I saw when I had my iron infusion said it was nigh on impossible to raise iron levels to where they should be on diet alone. Even with iron supplements, it can take up to two years depending on the level of deficiency.

Perhaps you’re the GP that told me my ferritin level of 5 was just a slight deficiency and I should eat a bit of spinach 🙄

Q2C4 · Yesterday 16:33

OneLilacHedgehog · Yesterday 15:47

Private iron transfusions are for people with too much money. Better eating a steak.

You cannot eat your way out of significant iron depletion.

VividDeer · Yesterday 16:25

VanGoSunflowers · Yesterday 13:24

How do you feel?

Hi. I've had slightly more energy in evenings possibly. A bit crampy in muscles. I did get quite a high dose though so I assume side effects highly likely.
I have bone infusions for my cancer treatment and react badly after those
It's early days as I only had it Monday.
So hopefully I'll soon start to see improvement

Maybe I'll have a steak tonight and be cured, perhaps it will cure my cancer too. (That's in reference to another poster, not yourself)

VividDeer · Yesterday 16:21

OneLilacHedgehog · Yesterday 15:47

Private iron transfusions are for people with too much money. Better eating a steak.

You are f*cking kidding right? Obnoxious t#at

OneLilacHedgehog · Yesterday 15:47

Private iron transfusions are for people with too much money. Better eating a steak.

VanGoSunflowers · Yesterday 13:24

VividDeer · 19/09/2026 12:27

Based on your thread if decided to get an iron transfusion on monday. So i will be £900 poorer very soon. I've been suffering for years and this way I find out if its ferritin causing. Currently at 21.

How do you feel?

StrengthAfter40 · Yesterday 12:44

I think this is really interesting because it seems so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that more exercise must always be better.
I’ve been wondering about this myself, particularly with strength training. There must be a point where doing more simply adds to the overall load rather than making you feel better.
I’m increasingly interested in the idea of adjusting what you do depending on how you actually feel that day, rather than deciding in advance that you have to train X number of times a week.
I’d be really interested to know whether anyone here has experimented with doing less on the days when they’re particularly exhausted, and whether it made any difference.

Thecows · 19/09/2026 12:42

VividDeer · 19/09/2026 12:27

Based on your thread if decided to get an iron transfusion on monday. So i will be £900 poorer very soon. I've been suffering for years and this way I find out if its ferritin causing. Currently at 21.

Good luck, ferritin is so underrated and drives me mad how the NHS have the acceptable levels set so low. OP keep on with that iron supplementation, 210mg per day is standard dose yes with Vit C and away from caffeine. Good luck

VividDeer · 19/09/2026 12:27

Based on your thread if decided to get an iron transfusion on monday. So i will be £900 poorer very soon. I've been suffering for years and this way I find out if its ferritin causing. Currently at 21.

Bamboozle30001 · 19/09/2026 12:05

I got some of those pharmacy tablets butbthey only had the sulfate ones. Guess there's no difference? 200mg ones.
Still not had proper bowel movements apart from the soft round type. But i got some dulcolax so that might get things moving.

OP posts:
Bamboozle30001 · 16/09/2026 07:41

ReadytoFeelWorse · 15/09/2026 16:24

Have you discussed this with your doctor?

A week without bowel movements is abnormal and very concerning especially given the volume of water you were drinking and an unexplained change in bowel function is usually something to investigate.

Yeah, they didn't seem concerned. Neither did a and e doctor. Only time i was ever regular as in every day was when i was on mounjaro.

OP posts:
anotheruser345 · 15/09/2026 19:36

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 15/09/2026 15:08

Every other day dosing is because of the hepcidin inhibition effect, not gut issues. It's needed for any intake over 60mg of elemental iron.

OP, you can take the vit C every day if you want but there's no particular reason to do so. Save money by only taking it with the iron.

I dont believe OP has bought a high dose at all though. Just checked and they have a 28mg elemental iron bisglycinate tablet, I do not believe this requires every other day use.

anotheruser345 · 15/09/2026 19:35

ThatGladTiger · 15/09/2026 12:31

https://www.ehlers-danlos.com/assessing-joint-hypermobility/

Put yourself through this test, see what you get.

There isn’t a cure so you don’t actually achieve anything by going private, but itcould just help you with an understanding of some of the issues you are having. Apparently 10% - 20% of people are hyper mobile! Who knew?

You can be hypermobile without it causing any issues, you can also have hypermobility where it causes joint pain etc but doesnt reach the criteria of EDS. So I assume that figure includes benign hypermobility, people that are a bit bendy and have zero pain or issues from it.

ReadytoFeelWorse · 15/09/2026 16:24

Bamboozle30001 · 13/09/2026 08:59

I don't poo much either. Recently it's been soft lumps not one big normal one if you get what i mean. Sometimes i can go a week without going. Which is why I was worried about gallbladder but the doctor did t seem concerned.

Have you discussed this with your doctor?

A week without bowel movements is abnormal and very concerning especially given the volume of water you were drinking and an unexplained change in bowel function is usually something to investigate.

flippertygibbet4 · 15/09/2026 16:06

If you've bought Ferrous Fumarate then you need to follow the instructions on the leaflet it comes with. It's usually one or two per day depending on your iron/ferritin levels.

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 15/09/2026 15:08

anotheruser345 · 15/09/2026 11:54

Honestly I would be taking them every day as you arent taking really high doses. I would only go to every other day if they cause gut issues.

Every other day dosing is because of the hepcidin inhibition effect, not gut issues. It's needed for any intake over 60mg of elemental iron.

OP, you can take the vit C every day if you want but there's no particular reason to do so. Save money by only taking it with the iron.

ThatGladTiger · 15/09/2026 12:31

Bamboozle30001 · 15/09/2026 12:27

I mean since having a child my hips are fucked. Sadly i don't have funds to go and find out privately if my husbands policy doesn't include me.

https://www.ehlers-danlos.com/assessing-joint-hypermobility/

Put yourself through this test, see what you get.

There isn’t a cure so you don’t actually achieve anything by going private, but itcould just help you with an understanding of some of the issues you are having. Apparently 10% - 20% of people are hyper mobile! Who knew?

Assessing Joint Hypermobility - The Ehlers Danlos Society

https://www.ehlers-danlos.com/assessing-joint-hypermobility/

Bamboozle30001 · 15/09/2026 12:27

ThatGladTiger · 15/09/2026 12:18

I came on here to say this exact thing! Turns out what I thought was peri menopause was hypermobility! Adjusting the training I do and how I sit/stand/walk has helped.

Ultimately if you are hyper mobile it’s not fixable and you will be tired as your connective tissues have to work harder. There is also a link between this and gut issues and neurodiversity, Have a look into it and see if you are before driving yourself bonkers finding a cure.

I mean since having a child my hips are fucked. Sadly i don't have funds to go and find out privately if my husbands policy doesn't include me.

OP posts:
ThatGladTiger · 15/09/2026 12:18

ToddlerFun1234 · 12/09/2026 18:58

Do you have any joints issues/pain/recurrent injuries? Are you quite flexible?

I was diagnosed with hypermobility recently which explained a lot of issues, including fatigue. I was a dancer when young so I had never considered I was bendier than most. Hypermobility is a connective tissue disorder so it's not just that your joints are flexible and muscles have to work harder. It also affects how you absorb food, your cardiovascular system, your sleep, everything. Look it up. You have to change how you exercise as if you push yourself too much in the wrong ways it will cause even more fatigue.

Edited

I came on here to say this exact thing! Turns out what I thought was peri menopause was hypermobility! Adjusting the training I do and how I sit/stand/walk has helped.

Ultimately if you are hyper mobile it’s not fixable and you will be tired as your connective tissues have to work harder. There is also a link between this and gut issues and neurodiversity, Have a look into it and see if you are before driving yourself bonkers finding a cure.

Delatron · 15/09/2026 12:11

Bamboozle30001 · 15/09/2026 11:13

Yep my mind goes a mile a minute. Oddly i was much calmer and relaxed on weed back in the day but that's not going to happen now.

Ha ha, yes unfortunately substances like weed and alcohol calm our brains. I guess why they can be addictive to us.

I actually really like the Trip CBD drinks to calm my mind in the evening. Obviously not as potent!

anotheruser345 · 15/09/2026 11:54

Bamboozle30001 · 15/09/2026 11:12

Feeling ok today. Woke up before my alarm and had my iton tablets then walked down to first job. 2 hours done there walked home,had breakfast. Now i know mumsnet is against food waste so I am using up the protein waffles. I had 2 with greek yoghurt, berries and a sprinkle of granola.

Did a workout and I've just had my snack of an apple, peanut butter and some almonds. Lunch will be the same as yesterday and I'll probably have scrambled eggs and cheese for dinner.

If i have this right, I dont take iron tablets tomorrow? But i can take the vitamin c?

Honestly I would be taking them every day as you arent taking really high doses. I would only go to every other day if they cause gut issues.

Bamboozle30001 · 15/09/2026 11:13

Delatron · 14/09/2026 19:16

You can have inattentive ADHD - there are a few different types but even with hyperactive it can still lead to tiredness and fatigue due to various reasons.

Women are more likely to have the hyperactivity in their heads. So their mind is never quiet. That in itself is also exhausting.

Yep my mind goes a mile a minute. Oddly i was much calmer and relaxed on weed back in the day but that's not going to happen now.

OP posts:
Bamboozle30001 · 15/09/2026 11:12

Feeling ok today. Woke up before my alarm and had my iton tablets then walked down to first job. 2 hours done there walked home,had breakfast. Now i know mumsnet is against food waste so I am using up the protein waffles. I had 2 with greek yoghurt, berries and a sprinkle of granola.

Did a workout and I've just had my snack of an apple, peanut butter and some almonds. Lunch will be the same as yesterday and I'll probably have scrambled eggs and cheese for dinner.

If i have this right, I dont take iron tablets tomorrow? But i can take the vitamin c?

OP posts:
Delatron · 14/09/2026 19:16

Flamingojune · 14/09/2026 14:09

I thought adhd was linked to hyperactivity

You can have inattentive ADHD - there are a few different types but even with hyperactive it can still lead to tiredness and fatigue due to various reasons.

Women are more likely to have the hyperactivity in their heads. So their mind is never quiet. That in itself is also exhausting.