Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Refusing to allow neighbour use driveway for toddler bday party?

83 replies

haloeeenbany · 12/09/2026 16:20

I'm probably going to sound really mean but my NDN out of the blue asked me today if some of her guests would be able to park on my driveway in a few weeks for her child's 2nd birthday party.

We have a DC who is the same age but they have never played or interacted so we defo wouldn't expect an invite or want one either.

We are literally waiting for handover for our new home so it's not like our kids would ever play interact anyway when we move.

For back story we don't really get on, she's very nosey and always talking about people, been the perpetrator of anti social behaviour and the moans about other neighbours doing stuff.

I have tried to remain civil as they live next door to me but last time prior today I saw her 3 months ago and said hello but she was very reluctant to say it back but did say "hi" but could tell she didn't really want to speak so we have just ignored each other since.

They have quite a few issues with other neighbours so it's not just me.

But when she asked me when I declined straight away without even thinking about it and walked back into the house.

AIBU?

OP posts:
crazymommaclub · 13/09/2026 12:04

godmum56 · 12/09/2026 17:53

have you not RTFT? the OP is moving soon

Show quote history

Lol, clearly not as thoroughly as you.

crazymommaclub · 13/09/2026 12:01

haloeeenbany · 12/09/2026 23:29

The drive has space for 2 cars, we have one space spare.
She still has loud music playing and it's every 2 weeks when her DC is with the dad, if she wanted favours surely she would be more considerate?

To be honest, I absolutely hate her guts and do not want to be doing her any favours, I hate her.

If that’s the case why are you asking if you are unreasonable or not?

Original poster
haloeeenbany · 12/09/2026 23:29

The drive has space for 2 cars, we have one space spare.
She still has loud music playing and it's every 2 weeks when her DC is with the dad, if she wanted favours surely she would be more considerate?

To be honest, I absolutely hate her guts and do not want to be doing her any favours, I hate her.

OP posts:
SummerPunch · 12/09/2026 22:42

Yanbu. I let my neighbour I get on with park across my drive but not the antisocial one

AgentPidge · 12/09/2026 22:36

Muffinme · 12/09/2026 21:14

I wouldn’t be doing favours for someone who’d treated me like the OP’s neighbour has treated her. I don’t get people who brown nose people who treat them badly, it’s just spineless.

Show quote history

The OP obviously doesn't care what NDN thinks of her. So if she had agreed, it wouldn't be brown-nosing, it would be because she's rising above some tit-for-tat nastiness. I would've said yes if it didn't inconvenience me, to show her how decent people behave. It might make her more considerate in future, you never know. Blocking the drive etc is really petty. But I do understand why the OP doesn't want to do her any favours.

Newusername2026 · 12/09/2026 22:26

I don't fully understand. But if your drive is not in use by you I don't see the problem with allowing neighbour's guests to use it for a short defined period of time

PenelopePinkerton · 12/09/2026 22:24

maxslice · 12/09/2026 18:57

So what? Just because OP and neighbour aren’t mates doesn’t mean OP needs to be a difficult like that will prove anything but that she is as bad or worse than the neighbour. How childish.

Edited
Show quote history

What’s wrong with not wanting anyone on your property ? The entitlement of some people is astounding

Original poster
haloeeenbany · 12/09/2026 21:47

It's like right now she has her music on at full blast and I am supposed to be doing her favours?

She has no awareness or consideration for anyone just herself, she has been asked politely many times by myself and others if she could keep her music down.

She has made my life hell here, and again most normal people who had general awareness wouldn't have even asked after how she has treated me and they would know I wouldn't want to be helping her.

OP posts:
Muffinme · 12/09/2026 21:14

maxslice · 12/09/2026 18:57

So what? Just because OP and neighbour aren’t mates doesn’t mean OP needs to be a difficult like that will prove anything but that she is as bad or worse than the neighbour. How childish.

Edited
Show quote history

I wouldn’t be doing favours for someone who’d treated me like the OP’s neighbour has treated her. I don’t get people who brown nose people who treat them badly, it’s just spineless.

Eightfor15 · 12/09/2026 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

maxslice · 12/09/2026 18:57

PenelopePinkerton · 12/09/2026 17:13

They’re not on nice terms.

Show quote history

So what? Just because OP and neighbour aren’t mates doesn’t mean OP needs to be a difficult like that will prove anything but that she is as bad or worse than the neighbour. How childish.

maxslice · 12/09/2026 18:55

Flamingojune · 12/09/2026 16:24

If it doesnt inconvenience you then why not. Youre leaving soon anyway

I was expecting you to say she asked the morning of or night before, which might inconvenience you. A couple of weeks notice actually sounds thoughtful and civilized. You said no simply because you don’t like her, which has nothing to do with the 2 year old. You’ll be out of that house soon anyway, so it’s not like this is going to become a habit with her. It’s ONE day and she ASKED in advance, which is more than a lot of annoying neighbours do. You are being unreasonable and petty.

Daisymail · 12/09/2026 17:53

haloeeenbany · 12/09/2026 17:02

Well one of her visitors parked on our drive a month ago and I actually went out and got them to move their car, and if it happens again I will do the same thing.

Edited

YANBU - on the day of the party I'd park at the end of your drive to ensure her visitors don't use it without permission. Or block it with bins if you are going out.

godmum56 · 12/09/2026 17:53

crazymommaclub · 12/09/2026 17:45

I would have said yes, as it could lead to a much more positive relationship with your NDN. Plus if you ever need some extra spaces, you can then ask her to return the favour.

have you not RTFT? the OP is moving soon

Muffinme · 12/09/2026 17:52

PenelopePinkerton · 12/09/2026 17:13

They’re not on nice terms.

Show quote history

Exactly, these people who think you should always cosy up to CF, rude, selfish neighbours no matter what do you wear a “kick me” sign on your back?

crazymommaclub · 12/09/2026 17:45

I would have said yes, as it could lead to a much more positive relationship with your NDN. Plus if you ever need some extra spaces, you can then ask her to return the favour.

PenelopePinkerton · 12/09/2026 17:13

FlapperFlamingo · 12/09/2026 16:27

I think YABU, you won’t be there much longer why not leave on nice terms? Seems quite petty to say no.

They’re not on nice terms.

Original poster
haloeeenbany · 12/09/2026 17:02

Well one of her visitors parked on our drive a month ago and I actually went out and got them to move their car, and if it happens again I will do the same thing.

OP posts:
Slobberchops1 · 12/09/2026 16:59

They will probably just park on it anyway

PrincessScarlett · 12/09/2026 16:58

Well done for saying no. You're leaving soon anyway so it's not the end of the world. However, I would be prepared that her guests will park all over the place possibly blocking you in if they are troublesome neighbours.

tommyhoundmum · 12/09/2026 16:58

I'm afraid I'd have said no and then quietly reminded her how unfriendly she'd been when I'd spoken to her.

Original poster
haloeeenbany · 12/09/2026 16:58

Yes had she been nice and friendly I would have said yes but it's she has been awful.

A few times keeping us awake at night with loud music blasting when her DC have not been there, not very considerate at all.

OP posts:
MellowRedHiker · 12/09/2026 16:40

ThirdStorm · 12/09/2026 16:30

right answer. You have clearly got the measure of them and if you’d said yes, they would do it again in the future without asking. Best not to create an expectation. Sorry, not sorry for all those of you who think that makes me mean.

Quite agree, you don't owe her anything. Can understand you feeling mean (as I would) but I daresay she hadn't had to brace herself and drum up the courage to ask, like the last time you saw her and she reluctantly then felt obliged to day Hi.
I like to treat people with respect and meet and greet them cheerfully, but some folks you need to treat them the same way as they did you. You've got the handle of her and you're moving on. Daresay you won't be thinking of this week's after you've moved!

MakeItToTheMoon · 12/09/2026 16:37

This is the first time on Mumsnet have I read that’s somebody had some balls to say “no”. There’s always posts about somebody kicking themselves for being a pushover. Well done, treat people as they treat you. You were not rude just direct.

Flamingojune · 12/09/2026 16:34

m00rfarm · 12/09/2026 16:26

Did you read the OP?

Show quote history

Yes.