AIBU to feel used in a friends with benefits arrangement?

Once or twice. I really don't see what the huge issue is. Does everything need to be dissected as being a really big deal when it's absolutely not. I've had much more to worry me over the last few years than someone telling me they didn't fancy me after we went for a drink

But you did have contact post all this… and that is what I find mind boggling

@BlueFahrenheit I hope your husband has a very high sex drive?!

I've had some very good sex toys with earth shattering orgasms but I always feel empty after a couple of days after all the sex drugs have worn off.

And you get it’s ok to change his mind on meeting, not every date will be. Connection, he clearly didn’t feel that, so it was just sex. That’s not something wrong with you, he just didnt see a connection

I don't. We stopped speaking years ago. Don't think I suggested anywhere that we were still in touch

Mind boggling you keep in contact with him

Depends on the sex toy ... Lelo toys are wonderful.

I went for a drink with someone a couple of years ago who was out of a long term relationship that ended pretty badly. Thats all it was. A drink. No pressure. When he got home he messaged me to say he didn't fancy me which was fine as I didn't fancy him either but then he starts telling me that he was still in love with his first gf and that they had been having an emotional affair plus snogging behind her husbands back. His cousin was still in touch with the girl so they went to gigs as a group with him.

On his profile it was all. I want a long term relationship -could you be the one, when he was clearly hung up on someone else. He sent me photos of them together with him sitting looking at her with sad puppy dog eyes.

Sometimes peoples profiles don't match who they are and what they want.

Still that's better than being on a dating site and getting three page long cut and paste efforts from the same person every three months.

The whole thread is different perspectives on what people want and enjoy.

personally no, I don’t want to just use someone for orgasms I could just use a sex toy

but each to their own, it’s just I’m completely out of order I’m some people’s minds for not wanting absolute silence after sex and wanting a bit of a laugh, a bit of chatting, an offer of a drink etc

I've never really understood that myself. Isn't it as unsatisfying as a sex toy?

Yes he said he wanted a connection before he met me but didn’t want a relationship. He said he wanted fwb on his profile to be specific.

I’ve said several times, I would expect someone to have basic manners and respect.
That, for me, goes in the way of not just fucking someone and kicking them out.

it could be , we had sex then just him asking how it was or if I need a drink or just general chat for a little bit. Not stay for hours chatting, no endless conversations, no texting throughout the day.

just basic manners.

not just fuck someone and give them their clothes both get dressed in silence and leave.

id imagine that even a prostitute likes a little conversation with her clients

What on earth?? Him putting his penis in side me is another way of saying sex, what on earth on you on about.
it doesn’t mean a transaction for sweet words.

I literally said I didn’t want sweet words, just respect and manners. I have said that so many times.
I wanted to talk to the guy not silence whilst putting our clothes on and leave.

he can be pissed off that he was told me he wanted a connection and to get to know me and then not actually have any conversation with me afterwards, because that’s absolutely what happened

I wouldn't be concerned with the talking ... not interested.

Give me another orgasm. I want your body, not your heart.

😂

I just wanted someone to shed some light on FWB situations. So, I’ve met this guy 3 times now just for sex, nothing more. But literally we just meet for sex, there’s texting up until and around the actual meet mainly just trying to find when we’re both free, who’s hosting etc. then we meet for sex then nothing. No text after, no casual conversation in between nothing at all. Then in about 2/3 weeks I’ll get a “when are you next free” text
I have to clarify I’ve never done this before I’ve always had relationships which is obviously completely different and I aware that I shouldn’t expect much more than casual sex which is fine. But, literally just sex and no actual chatting or hanging out in between is making me feel a little used. I’m unsure how to feel do I just accept this for what it is, what’s everyone’s experiences on similar situations? Am I just expecting too much for something that’s supposed to be casual?

I’d have blocked the nano second I received that message hours after meeting him for the first time telling me he didn’t fancy me! Done dusted his loss!

That was just a drink. It was seriously no big deal. I just thought it was a bit weird that his dating profile was top to toe with could you be the one when he's actually still very hung up on his first love

Actually we kept in touch for a wee bit but not that long after and he met someone who catfished him and then met someone else who he turned down because she had a dog 🤣🤣🤣🤣

You poor thing… you have had some abysmal experiences with grotty men