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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel used in a friends with benefits arrangement?

807 replies

AdeptLilacHare · 12/09/2026 11:38

I just wanted someone to shed some light on FWB situations. So, I’ve met this guy 3 times now just for sex, nothing more. But literally we just meet for sex, there’s texting up until and around the actual meet mainly just trying to find when we’re both free, who’s hosting etc. then we meet for sex then nothing. No text after, no casual conversation in between nothing at all. Then in about 2/3 weeks I’ll get a “when are you next free” text
I have to clarify I’ve never done this before I’ve always had relationships which is obviously completely different and I aware that I shouldn’t expect much more than casual sex which is fine. But, literally just sex and no actual chatting or hanging out in between is making me feel a little used. I’m unsure how to feel do I just accept this for what it is, what’s everyone’s experiences on similar situations? Am I just expecting too much for something that’s supposed to be casual?

OP posts:
MagicMarkers · 12/09/2026 11:42

Yes, you're being used.

SpottyPyjama · 12/09/2026 11:41

If you don’t like it, stop doing it.

Ella31 · 12/09/2026 11:41

I dont think you are being used as he could say the same about you, but what is clear is, your wants have changed and you dont like the situation anymore. With all that in mind, I'd end the arrangement.

Prunesrlush · 12/09/2026 11:41

You aren’t someone who should be in a FWB scenario

SummerFeverVenice · 12/09/2026 11:41

You’re not describing FWB, you’re describing casual sex with booty calls because you two are not friends.

Worktillate · 12/09/2026 11:41

The term FWB indicates exactly that - friends who sleep together.
The question becomes, were you friends first and this is a change in tone/contact or has this been the arrangement from the beginning.
If it's the latter, I would say you aren't FWB as there's no friendship developed.

ToastSafeFromMothsAndDogs · 12/09/2026 11:40

That’s not friendship with sex, is it? It’s sex without friendship.