AIBU to feel used in a friends with benefits arrangement?

I can’t understand why you agreed to this set up, as it’s clearly not good for you at all.

I think the idea of FWB is that there is friendship involved, as others have said.

What made you think he was immature?

Well not really if you count one pint with someone who said he didn't fancy me 🤣. Trying to put my life back together has taken priority really

Good on you for getting back out there on the dating scene post this trauma

I have tried to explain that the main ringleader had 11k followers on twitter and he dragged around 200 other people into this but there were a core of around ten people who were stalking intimidating me and threatening me. There were two other women being harassed by this gang at the same time and one man who tried to stop them had his address circulated -and he had to go to police as well.

I've seen people jailed for less than I and others went through -because they targeted an MP. The tweet was traced that day and they were correctly arrested and charged. I had people making threats on Twitter accounts with their own names and photos on them and police said they could do nothing

They just told me to block them. I did. But they just made more and more accounts to target me with.

They stole my media. My photos and personal information were put on doxxing blogs so that other people could harass me. They even stole a photo of one of my cats and used his face to make a pathetic twitter account to spread lies about me

The main ringleader is married. Has a good job but can't cope with women standing up to him. If you challenge him on twitter he calls you a stalker then he calls you a racist (his wife is Mexican) and then he tweets you abuse and copies your twitter handle in so his flying monkeys will harass you

His wife just joins in. He wrote a poem about me called "pishy drawers is coming to town " the day after he was badgering police in his home area to check with the fiscal to see if they would allow police to charge me

Ten weeks later I got tena lady pants sent to my home. That was them letting me know that they did have my address.

So it wasn’t just the band of weirdos… it was people you knew on twitter in on it too?

Imagine if the tables were turned! A woman says to her husband that she is not up for sex and he then sleazily cajoles her. Gross!

Yes it does.
Male violence is not just shrugged off with 'Oh well let's forget it. Women can be cunts too. We're all individuals.'

And rightly so.

So why is it wrong to suggest that it is mainly women who get the shitty end of the stick when it comes to fb/fwb arrangements?

Sex with the same man over and over releases hormones that can bond a woman to a man, for a man it's more about sexual release.

If you want to continue thinking that there's no biological differences between the sexes, that's obviously up to you.

I could not disagree with you more.

Yes, it's a major issue. Using social media to defame and destroy lives is common.

But... if it's a 'hate crime' against particular groups of people, it's a completely different story.

Honest, open discussions are necessary; however, finding someone transparent like this is the challenge.

Yes, sometimes, or he will give me a cheeky glance. I'll head to bed a little earlier than usual, and he will know exactly what I will be doing.

I usually get what I want 💃

That's not quite how it happened but yes people knew I was single. Yes. I went to police six times and I was sent away six times

And then they told this band of weirdos? Did you report to the police?

Because people I spoke to on Twitter knew I was.

How did he know you were single? This is horrible

Well I will bother if that's OK with you thanks.

You carry on thinking in your boxes if that helps you think.

He wasn't a boyfriend. He wasn't someone on a dating site. It was a group of people on twitter who have targeted a lot of single women. I haven't met any of these people. We did not cross paths in real life. People don't need to know you to become fixated with ruining your life.

Generally speaking this is how it is.

Of course there's exceptions. I'm not denying it.

If you're going to come back with the 'people are individuals' line please don't bother.

I've heard it all before and while of course men and women have things in common they undeniably have differences which usually, not always, become apparent in the fullness of time.

It's like people saying women can be violent criminals too on threads about male inflicted violence . Yes, yes they can be but they are usually not and they end up derailing a thread about male violence.

Who decided all this? The FWB Regulatory Commission? Surely it's down to individuals.

I also think you are being widely sweeping about women wanted connection and men wanting self-maintaining sex toys. I know it was fictional but think of Howard and Sabine on Fresh Meat. Howard was desperate for love but the uber-liberated Sabine just saw him as a reserve fuck buddy when her main plaything was otherwise engaged.