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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fed Up Woman

57 replies

fuw · 12/09/2026 10:29

DH is workaholic. Manual job Mon-Fr. And additional private work Sat (always) and Sunday (almost every). Think, plumber.
We had 1 property with small mortgage left, when 5 y ago we bought another property (with huge mortgage) to live and turned our first property into rental- which for 4y was very unsuccessful when my DH has let his distant family members rent it (against my wishes) and said family members did not pay rent. It took court proceedings to get them out in the end- by which time my DH was burrying his head in the sand and let me deal with the courts, as he didn’t know how to deal with the situation. All 4.5 years he was paying both mortgages. Rental only became profitable since April this year. In January both mortgages are coming to the end of cheap deal and will increase considerably.
And here comes my AIBU- I want us to sell the rental, pay off our mortgage (it will cover!) and live mortgage free with spare cash to save. We haven’t been to proper holiday for 5y, had to watch every penny and I am frankly fed up living my life like that! With the mortgages increased the rental will not cover the costs and we will be paying about £1.5k a months in mortgage payments additionally. I don’t see the point to keep the rental
property and live bellow acceptable level, where I have to make ends meet and think that I have to save for couple of months just to buy myself winter shoes!
Besides, our new house is not finished yet, there are some things we can not afford and will not be able to afford in the future.
I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I think it would be better to divorce, get half of everything and leave him to it! As he thinks life is for working and earning as much money as he can.
Both properties in both names. He is paying both mortgages, I pay for food, clothes and all the bills in our home. I have no personal savings.
What would you suggest I do?

OP posts:
DailyPlanner · 12/09/2026 10:49

We haven’t been to proper holiday for 5y, had to watch every penny and I am frankly fed up living my life like that!

you are not BU at all!

what's the point of life if you don't enjoy it. Having a paid off mortgage is very sensible, and you never know what's going to happen.

not travelling, not going on holiday, not having a life when you can is so wasteful. Things and circumstances change, live the best life you can whilst you still can.

Prunesrlush · 12/09/2026 10:47

my DH has let his distant family members rent it (against my wishes)

why was this against your wishes?

Prunesrlush · 12/09/2026 10:45

fuw · 12/09/2026 10:43

Yes and yes. It’s in my original post :)

No you don’t

Passaggressfedup · 12/09/2026 10:44

Pension pots?

fuw · 12/09/2026 10:43

Prunesrlush · 12/09/2026 10:40

Do you work? Any children?

Yes and yes. It’s in my original post :)

OP posts:
Prunesrlush · 12/09/2026 10:40

Do you work? Any children?

LilyBunch25 · 12/09/2026 10:34

Basically sit him down and tell him what you've posted here! I see no point struggling like this just to continue being landlords. He definitely needs a discussion about work life balance. What about actually enjoying life...? It's evident that's possible if you sell the rental. Work to live not live to work- if your other circumstances meant there was no choice but to struggle I'd say yes thats just how it is, but it obviously isn't. Life is short and you never know what's around the corner. I say this from bitter experience of having a DH that became extremely permanently unwell 5 years ago; it changed my perspective hugely.