I'm a single mum so no one to really talk to to about this hence the post. I'm really upset tbh
My eldest is 22, he's been with his bf (20) for 5 years in November, which is something he is quite smug about given they are young and his friends have all broken up with their then bfs/gfs they had when they were 17. But i don’t know if being smug is healthy or if it’s forcing him to stay together to prove a point that they have lasted, if it makes sense.
Honestly I didn’t think they would and tbh I hoped that they wouldn’t last after I met him. I made a MN post quite a few years ago now under a different user. He had been staying with us over christmas one year and they’d both drunkenly disturbed myself and my other children and they made a mess and were just a nightmare tbh, I stopped him staying over after that and the bfs dad is homophobic and while he has accepted DS (now) he doesn’t allow sleepovers. They still live an hour and half apart and DS drives now and they see eachother often but I don’t know what their plan is re living together, DS quit his job recently and the bf works at a cinema so not exactly brilliant wages for rent although we aren’t in the south so rent prices are cheaper it’s still expensive iyswim.
When they were younger his bf had poor mental health and self harmed and attempted suicide a few times, DS was extremely worried about him and his own grades slipped and he did terrible in his A levels, he wasn’t doing anything but finally got a job last year which he has now quit because they said no to having time off and they basically said he could have it off but he wouldn’t have a job, he chose to not have a job. I didn’t find this out until recently and that was from a friend of his that he’s now blocked for “telling tales”
I feel their relationship is toxic, the times i’ve met his bf he’s been rude and I don’t know much about him. DS excuses basically all his behaviour because he’s autistic and not good with people he doesn’t know well but at the same time he works at a cinema so he spends his time serving people he doesn’t know etc fine
His bf has refused to eat things ive cooked for him even basic stuff like pasta, ive tried to make things he will eat as I know that some people with autism have issues with food but still nope. Ive tried things like plain pasta, pizza out of the freezer that DS says he eats but he wouldn’t eat it here it was “burnt” but it wasn’t! He has awful table manners including spitting food out which puts everyone off their food except ds he doesn’t care but he’s probably used to it
DS doesn't see really his friends anymore it’s all about this boy and it doesn’t seem healthy at all, when they would go out with ds’s friends one of them told me his bf didn’t let him out his sight and followed him everywhere to get drinks etc and even to the toilet (but said he needed the toilet too, obviously he could’ve but it seems a red flag), ds now doesn’t talk to that friend. When ds comes back from having seen him with love bites and bite marks
Now here’s the thing, DS went away with him about 2 weeks ago now (reason why he quit his job) and on instagram he posted pictures from the trip and amongst pictures of the scenary there was a picture of a ring, ds wlso posted on his story a picture of them when they first got together and a recent one.
I’ve not mentioned it to him because i’ve been waiting for him to but he hasn’t. AIBU to be upset and concerned?