To be embarrassed about my mental illness?

Yes, sorry to say I completely get this. It’s taken me years and years to even mention it to anyone outside my immediate family.
I envy those who can talk so freely on social media. I wonder if it is how I was brought up?
I hope you are doing better OP. I know there is nothing to be embarrassed about as it’s an illness like any other - but solidarity from me!

Well done for getting yourself back to a place where you feel able to work!

I think everyone feels some embarrassment or discomfort with others knowing about their mental or physical health issues. It makes us feel other and the current focus on 'fakers' in the news almost makes you feel like you owe people an explanation or proof of your condition being real and seriously impacting on you. You don't owe anyone anything.

Please try to focus on how well you have done getting back to work and identify the little wins along the way.

OP have you had therapy or counselling alongside? this sounds quite internalised from you, rather than your colleagues or workplace and could be to do with how you were brought up, how your parents or others around you spoke about MH etc. This is not your fault, you do not need to carry any shame about this. Can you find one person even who you can talk to? maybe a friend who’s experienced similar? Whst age are you? sorry if you said. I find younger people at work very open regarding mental health and struggles. Sending strength op 💐

Please don’t feel shame, be proud of how far you’ve come and try to be gentle on yourself.
Wishing you the best of luck 💐

I highly recommend reading this book https://amzn.eu/d/09f5OjG1 - it really helped me in a similar situation. It explains depression as a physical illness and why weak people don’t get depression.

Gosh…. How awful for you. The current nasty media narrative about slackers claiming benefits due to their mental health is horrible. Nobody seems to see the connection with an epidemic of mental health problems and an almost non-existent NHS mental health service.

Depression is a real illness, OP. It is not your fault any more than having broken leg, for example, would be your fault. I like the sound of @Fortheloveofpenguins book.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. There is still a lot of stigma attached to mental illness and it's not surprising that people feel embarrassed and ashamed.

I'm in my 50s and have struggled with anxiety all my life since having PND in my early 20s. What I have found by being open about talking about anxiety is that most people have had periods where they have struggled with their mental health and that anxiety and depression are very common conditions.

I think your feelings of shame/embarrassment stem from feeling that people are judging you - when it's likely that the opposite is true. It takes real strength and courage to battle depression and the fact that you are getting back to work and actively working towards recovery is a massive credit to you. You should feel very proud of yourself!

🤪 Beyond ridiculous. How to say you know nothing about a topic by saying a lot of pointless words.
I'm sure you were a delight in the workplace with the level of empathy you exude.

I know what you mean. I still feel embarrassed about breaking down and actually screaming when my son in law was in the house. I feel a bit embarrassed with how I was even with my own family, that I put them through that. They must’ve been so upset. 2 years later I still feel embarrassed even though I’ve worked really hard and helped myself, I know I should feel proud of myself but that’s not something that comes naturally to me.
Not helped by my mother once referring to something about me as being a weak person , when in fact it was the opposite, that I was being a kind, compassionate person, not weak.

I didn’t realise I could “ cure” my poor mental health just by thinking of others 🙄.
Which I’m pretty good at by the way.

Also to add, the irony of you mentioning the OP should have compassion for others 🤣🤣. Not sure you know the meaning of the word.

Yes, is it any wonder people like me feel embarrassed about their poor mental health with that kind of attitude!

Well done for reaching out for advise have you tried counciling or therapy. Im in counciling myself after struggling with depression for years and its helps me along with going for walks which may help yourself aswell there's loads of help out there thays helped me and I can give you some if it would help you.

Please dont feel embarrassed about having mental illness. It is people who use depression and anxiety as buzz words to suit them, when truth is theh have NO idea what its like to have these things should be!

I have beaten depression once before and I was SO happy, then a family event knocked me down and I also developed c-ptsd and never been the same.
I feel uncomfortable saying I have c-ptsd because its so over used and the word "trauma" is also overused!
The truth is though, I suffer severe flashbacks, panic attacks, choke in my sleep (when I actually get some), have sudden adrenaline rushes / shakes / easily startled, I could go on and on with what happens.
Am I ashamed? No! Because I didnt give it to myself! Do people understand? Of course not.
I have a neighbour who thinks anybody who sits for 5 mins is "lazy" and she recently said I had too much time on my hands because I work very part time...
So, OP never feel bad for putting yourself first and having boundaries. Ive only recently learned that and have dealt with stuff for years. I hope you feel better soon - there is barely any NHS mental health help - I had to go private!! One of the things that actually did help was keeping video diaries. You see progress and relapse.
Sorry this is longer than I meant it to be. Take care x

Completely agree sadly. We shouldn’t feel embarrassed but when you get delightful people like that coming out with comments like that, it’s hard not to.

If only I’d known that I could cure depression by thinking another kids in Africa or those covering my work while I’m off sick 🙄 all those years I’ve wasted.

STFU. What an utterly deranged view.

Hi OP. I completely understand how you’re feeling. I’ve suffered from depression on and off since being a teenager, and it’s taken me to my mid 40s to reduce the shame I feel, particularly feeling like I am soft/weak. It takes a lot of bloody strength to get up some days I tell you! Sadly some people will judge, even employers that bleat on about being supportive (and I’ve found law firms are the worst culprits). It’s really tough. I found a book called The Happiness Trap really helpful by Russ Harris, but otherwise counselling and meditation. (Also basic things like enough sleep, exercise, not drinking alcohol etc). These helped for me anyway to keep things on an even keel.

I am scared I’ll feel like that again and I’d have a bad day and then fear I was heading into a depression again (rather than it just being a bad day). It’s exhausting honestly x

Do you want a medal or something?

I did not say you could 'cure' it - you can alleviate it by thinking less about yourself, that is all.

Hi OP, I have bipolar, and definitely do feel shame. However over the years, I slowly tested the water. I told one colleague, and the sky didn't fall in, so I told another. Now all my direct colleagues know. They have all been supportive and several younger colleagues have said how my honesty has changed the culture at work and helped them be more honest about their struggles. And in many ways, this helps the team and the employer. If we can talk about our difficulties before we get too sick, we can support each other and medical help before we can so poorly we can't work. Better than suppressing it until we're so sick we feel we can't keep going. So maybe you can find one colleague you can talk to? And take it from there. I think you will find every day you go into work it will get a bit easier. You could also look up doing a wellness recovery action plan (templates available on the MIND website). It helps your employer know what to do if you get sick again so you don't have to remember it all when you are feeling ill.

Tried that. It’s essentially distract your mind with a look over there! To pretend you’re not really ill. It’s only a plaster and underneath the illness festers.

Your advice doesn’t alleviate mental illness, it’s how to bury and deny mental illness until you have a break down.

I appreciate you don’t know me but if you did you’d know that I have very little time to think of myself, and have in fact been encouraged by my GP , counselling, family etc to think of myself a bit more often and put myself first occasionally!