To be shocked at ‘school readiness’

Not a single one of my mother's friends worked when they had children. Some of them had to leave their jobs when they got married as marriage bars didn't become illegal until 1975. The attitude that mothers shouldn't work remained for quite a while after that.

Washing machines were standard in most homes. Fish fingers, tinned spaghetti/beans and smash had been invented for those who wanted easy dinners. Dish washers weren't around but I don't think anyone lost out by not having a microwave.

My mother certainly thinks she had a lot more time and less pressure. She really didn't like the lack of financial independence though.

Strange this, because I’ve just been told on another thread this morning that “my generation” (I’m late 50s) are selfish parents who weren’t prepared to change their lifestyle and put children first, whereas the younger parents put children at the centre of everything.

Yet here we are with a generation of children who can’t put their coat on at 6

I've seen quite a few do this over the last couple of years. Works a treat, but not great when you have a bunch of 4 years olds in close proximity flinging their coats over their heads

I’m in Ireland and I have found the absolute opposite with a particular Eastern European country … makes me wonder where you are from .
Irish people are generally extremely polite ,in fact it’s a massive part of our culture here. It’s so bad that the college where several of my friends work in have had to set up classes in cultural awareness of how to speak/behave more politely
in Ireland , some of it is in part due to over directness and cultural differences but not all. And although it’s rolled out for everyone it’s aimed at a specific Eastern European demographic.
I’ve never heard or experienced what you’ve said in Ireland from Eastern Europeans , the other nationalities here are absolutely wonderful in comparison particularly the students where I work and unfortunately due to racism here are getting the brunt of it when in fact it’s a specific Eastern European country were we see rudeness , aggression and unbelievable entitlement again and again.

I thought this then read updates. 20 children bringing coat rather than attempting, 20 not recognising their name written in a chaotic classroom. Sounds normal to me. OP a lot of children probably can do this but the classroom is new and chaotic and so those skills have gone out of the window.

"Accidental parenting' is the phrase I think you're looking for.

I'm sure they no longer do the three year old checks we used to have, the ones that would say if your child was meeting their milestones. They could give advice or make referrals if there were significant concerns I.e, to speech and language etc. I suspect school nursing teams have been cut too which although we didn't use often were always around to support if your child had difficulties at a young age but were past the hv age. There used a be a named nurse attached to your school who would come in regularly and you could make an appt with them.

Side note for anyone panicking their child can't do their coat. Do the hood trick - hood at feet on floor, arms in, flip over their head. Works a treat.

Weird as I don't find that at all, all DC's friends are lovely, hard working, competent maybe it's because they were allowed to explore their own intellectual curiosity and develop problem solving skills.

Absolutely believe this.

I left teaching 2 years ago for good reason.

She might be one of the mums by the sound of it 🤣

I'm a teacher. It is absolutely true.

I'm sceptical about this, sounds a bit exaggerated. Apart from anything else, most children go to some sort of pre-school setting at least part-time these days.

They might not be able to cope with shoelaces (not sure I could until I was about 10, I had buckles!) and may have phone-addicted parents, but I don't believe they don't know their names.

Having been an early years teacher I can 100% believe this.
I have overheard parents saying that they're not going to bother teaching their children to do various things because 'The school can do that". These were really basic things too.

This is exactly what the (now very widespread) evidence shows that gentle parenting results in.

Agree! My DC are 23 & 21. Many of their peers have been spoilt & pandered to, no discipline or consequences. Parents undermining teavhers at every turn. So many of these kids can’t cope with the adult world & its getting worse.

Where did I say that they all have SEND?

Written, lovely. Not spoken.

Strange t

Also re. rudeness ; hands down the rudest people I have to deal with daily (have a small business outside my job) are boomers .
Time and time again, demanding , lack of basic manners, no patience, no thank you , entitlement off the charts and yet apparently this is the generation which were brought up “correctly and well”, How did so many end up being these rude adults so ? What happened them?

Yes, because that's exactly what Gentle parenting involves or that is exactly what arises from God forbid, cherishing your children!

Sorry haven't rtft and I'm in Ireland not UK but expect we are very similar on this. I work in early years, pre school age and we have a lot of different nationalities. These are usually recent immigrants so not yet integrated. There is a massive difference culturally between the children. Generally the Irish kids are fairly useless with independence skills. So are most other cultures. With only one exception who had SEN, every eastern European child has been a dream coming in the door. They take coats off, hang them up, put indoor shoes on. They may need directions day 1 with our tap and toilet flushing but they master it immediately. They can open lunchboxes and water bottles. They are directed where to put things and they follow. They tidy up. These kids are 3 or slightly younger. They are not a superior genetic race, they are simply raised that way. If a child knocks something off the table onto the floor I can predict by their culture if they are going to hop up and pick it up, ignore it or call an adult to expect them to do it for them. I've seen this pattern for a number of years now.

Honestly I think your over zelling this. My daughter has just started school and has been able to do that list for a long time and I can't think of a single one of her friends who can't. Perhaps recognising their written name but verbally they know it.