To be shocked at ‘school readiness’

Our local primary communicated the expectations before children joined reception. This was done at open days for the school, the children didn’t have to know how to read but had to be able to be toilet trained before joining and able to change their own clothes for PE for example. This was made easier as the last year of private nursery they wore uniforms and helped prep them as best as they could. I think it would have been seen as embarrassing for the parent, if children couldn’t do these things when joining school (unless SEN). We went to a small primary where everyone knew everyone.

In 1975 50% of mothers worked. It is not a new thing, the jobs they did may not have been as intense that might be true.
Your lack of understanding of how appliances have changed is also understandable. Washing machines - twin tubs - were in homes but even the good ones were no where near as good as today. Dishwashers unheard of. Dryers very rare. Washing and cleaning took up substantially more time than it does today - not an hour or two extra a week a massive amount of time. If you don’t know this then you are very lucky. Shopping was a massive effort, very few cars and the man mostly had them, shops only open limited hours. Shopping took an awful lot of time, carrying bags on buses several times a week - and I appreciate some people are still doing this. No constant children’s TV to distract just an hour and half early evening, no videos, no iPads. Boomers and Gen X had advantages in many ways but they also had some very big challenges modern parents do not have.

Until recently housework and shopping was backbreaking and constant. Today’s parents have different pressure but limited time is not one of them.

I’m truly astonished by your ignorance.
My mother and father left school before secondary education to work, they could read and write but it wasn’t their world. They were born in 1949.

I would imagine that things were worse in 1926.

Now all children are entitled to an education legally and food, unlike 100 years ago.

There has always been a wealthy class of people, the roaring twenties were very different experiences across society.

It was the same when I helped out at playgroup in 1977-78: the rule was that a child had to be 3 yrs old and out of nappies.

It’s not a goady post though is it? It’s the experience of someone who works in that setting, reporting her observations. You may disagree with those observations and you’re entitled to say that but a post you disagree with isn’t “goady”. I just do understand why anyone would seek to minimise or deny this issue exists (at least for the OP, and it seems many others).

2 weeks into this school year with a new class of reception children who 90% are utterly unequipped to be in a classroom. This is a list of things that come to mind the children are unable to do.

-put on their coats. I don’t mean when they struggle to get their arms in or don’t know how to turn a sleeve from inside out. I mean completely unaware of how to even attempt to put on their own coat.
-Recognise their own name.
-They walk away while you are actively talking to them

-Nor a single child has used manners, pleas or thank yous, without being prompted to do so during the whole 2 weeks.
-take their coats to their pegs. Children are taking off their coats at the door, dropping them to the floor and walking away.
-close a toilet cubicle door or pull their pants up before they walk back into class (our toilets are directly off the classroom)

This is not even mentioning the running away or out the classroom when asked to do something they don’t want to do like sit on the carpet, children outright saying no or screaming at staff.

These are not SEN children who are developmentally delayed. Covid babies are no longer an excuse. I’m absolutely baffled how parents have neglected to teach their children basic skills and expectations of behaviour, I have never had a year group like this.

AIBU to be shocked at the lack of school readiness

So many terrible parents these days. Our 9 year old great nephew came to say with us for the weekend.

My husband bought him a bike. He did not know how to ride a bike. We went out for a meal. He did not know how to use cutlery. We did some basic cookery - made a cake, smoothies, a pizza. He had no clue how to use a knife to chop things. Even mixing stuff was clearly new to him. Played UNO - completely new to him.

He was shit hot on his Nintendo switch though.

When my DC were young they couldn't attend nursery/preschool unless they were out of nappies. Apart from if there was medical need there were no exceptions, they had to wait if this wasn't the case. That was at 3. This was in 2000/2010 when mine started so not the Dark ages. All parents I knew worked too.

We have children walk out to their parents like butter wouldn’t melt. Inside the classroom they are like a completely different child. Children who are friends outside of school but together in class are absolute chaos. Children who seek out other children and hurt them unprovoked and parents who don’t believe they are capable. Unless you are in the classroom you have no idea what goes on in it.

When my DC were young they couldn't attend nursery/preschool unless they were out of nappies. Apart from if there was medical need there were no exceptions, they had to wait if this wasn't the case. That was at 3. This was in 2000/2010 when mine started so not the Dark ages. All parents I knew worked too.

When my DC were young they couldn't attend nursery/preschool unless they were out of nappies. Apart from if there was medical need there were no exceptions, they had to wait if this wasn't the case. That was at 3. This was in 2000/2010 when mine started so not the Dark ages. All parents I knew worked too.

I’m in Ireland and I have found the absolute opposite with a particular Eastern European country … makes me wonder where you are from .
Irish people are generally extremely polite ,in fact it’s a massive part of our culture here. It’s so bad that the college where several of my friends work in have had to set up classes in cultural awareness of how to speak/behave more politely
in Ireland , some of it is in part due to over directness and cultural differences but not all. And although it’s rolled out for everyone it’s aimed at a specific Eastern European demographic.
I’ve never heard or experienced what you’ve said in Ireland from Eastern Europeans , the other nationalities here are absolutely wonderful in comparison particularly the students where I work and unfortunately due to racism here are getting the brunt of it when in fact it’s a specific Eastern European country were we see rudeness , aggression and unbelievable entitlement again and again.

I'm on holiday in Gran Canaria just now, and walking past restaurants all you see is toddlers and kids at tables with eyes glued to iPads and tablets, and their parents either ignoring them or themselves doomscrolling. No conversation or engagement with each other. It's not parenting as far as I can see. I went on many holidays with my parents before mobiles and we all conversed with each other at the table and the rest of the day.

And I always wonder why people blatantly call out posters who are describing real life incidents. Do you think they're liars?

2 weeks into this school year with a new class of reception children who 90% are utterly unequipped to be in a classroom. This is a list of things that come to mind the children are unable to do.

-put on their coats. I don’t mean when they struggle to get their arms in or don’t know how to turn a sleeve from inside out. I mean completely unaware of how to even attempt to put on their own coat.
-Recognise their own name.
-They walk away while you are actively talking to them

-Nor a single child has used manners, pleas or thank yous, without being prompted to do so during the whole 2 weeks.
-take their coats to their pegs. Children are taking off their coats at the door, dropping them to the floor and walking away.
-close a toilet cubicle door or pull their pants up before they walk back into class (our toilets are directly off the classroom)

This is not even mentioning the running away or out the classroom when asked to do something they don’t want to do like sit on the carpet, children outright saying no or screaming at staff.

These are not SEN children who are developmentally delayed. Covid babies are no longer an excuse. I’m absolutely baffled how parents have neglected to teach their children basic skills and expectations of behaviour, I have never had a year group like this.

AIBU to be shocked at the lack of school readiness

This is what happens when you start school so young.

I’m sure your step-daughter had/has a different reality to tell. Maybe she was exhausted when she was parenting her young dc and let standards slip based on your extremely judgemental post on her parenting and how awful your step grandchild behaved..
You’re well able to judge despite your martyr post follow up . Your previous post was scathing of your step-daughter’s “crap” parenting . What type of parent were you to your own dcs ?

100 years ago a large portion of parents would have been illiterate and unable to teach any kind of letter recognition

What!? 100 years ago people were far more literate than they are today.
There was no telly, no tech. Books and reading was the most popular form of entertainment. Public libraries have existed in this country since the 1800s and they were free and available to all. My grandparents were avid readers and this was 60 years ago.

I'm truly astonished that anyone would think people in this country were illiterate 100 years ago.

What age are they? I find it hard to believe 90% can’t do these things.

Methinks I detect a touch of sarcasm.

The grandchild is now an adult.

I did my best to facilitate interaction. This wasn't easy, given that we were in Scotland, I was still working and my husband's daughter, SIL and granddaughter lived abroad.

The granddaughter's father was the SAHP. Although they were based abroad, the daughter's job demanded that she fly here, there and everywhere.

In the end, she decided that it was untenable. She'd earned enough to allow her to quit when she was in her 40s and moved back to England with her daughter.

By then, I was my late husband's carer as well as being my late mother's carer. When my husband's ex's second partner died, I was the person who was at hand to help with hospital appointments - there was no sign of the daughter or her sibling coming up to Scotland to do this, but they did express their gratitude.

And no, I'm certainly not a wonder. I was - like many in my position - simply exhausted.