AIBU to refuse looking after my sister's children more?

She’s very cheeky to demand so much of you! I have a sister who doesn’t have any children herself, lives 10min drive away from me and only has babysat one of my two kids at a time maybe once or twice a year.. they’re 4 and 8. You’re extremely generous with your offer already..

Hell no!
You have offered more than I would do.
You have enough on your plate.
i am peri-menopausal and there is no way I’d be offering to look after anybody else’s kids on my two days off, I’m knackered as it is.
I think your sister is being very unreasonable by even asking you, it was her and her husband’s choice to have more children.

What an ignorant comment. Theres nothing wrong with OP choosing to manage her family how she sees fit. I just completed 7 years of driving my 2 boys to their high school, which is miles away from where we live but so much better than the dump across the road. No possibility of using public transport unless we all wanted to be up at 5!! No thanks.
Honestly, OP I'd show her this thread and also withdraw the offer - I don't think you've properly allowed for the encroaching menopause. She obviously needs to get a weekday job and buy childcare like the rest of us. If anyone else in your family criticises you, turn it around on them. As in, Oh great, problem solved, you're volunteering are you? I'll let her know, she'll be thrilled!
Before you know it you'll be expected to offer elderly care too. Its something to do with having tits I think.

I wouldn’t do it all, she can get a childminder or a different job.

It’s a ridiculous request. When are you supposed to have any time off?

Not your problem. Look after yourself and your own family. Weekends are a BIG ASK.

You only need to register with ofsted as a childminder if you’re looking after other people’s children in your own home. Somebody could babysit the kids in the sister’s home, they wouldn’t need to be registered anywhere.

I'm sure they'd be delighted but nowadays you need to be registered with Ofsted as a childminder...

In my area, a registered childminder who works weekends is rare!

They have kids 6 and 3 and both are going to be working weekends? Nah - they can look after their own kids

I also think your commitment is more generous than it needs to be!

Absolutely YANBU!

She wants to work weekends so that she can have weekdays off, I take it? So why should you look after her kids during your time off? Or is it to avoid paying for childcare?

She needs to work hours that fit with her family arrangements.

You've offered an alternative solution. Not your problem . She should have thought of childcare before she took the job.

Your offer is generous, because as said, it might be a eight year commitment and continue after your youngest has flown the nest. I've just looked up weekend nannies in my area and I was surprised that there were so many, £12 an hour. Has her partner got family that could do one day? That would really cut down on costs.

I’m sure there are childminders that work weekends

it's not strictly true

Obviously you need someone you can trust and is safe, that goes without saying, so it takes some research

but for example there are many mums whose husband works all week but is home at the weekend, and these mums are desperate to earn a living and would be delighted to work weekends.

if the sister is really keen to work and is struggling, nothing stops her from becoming a weekend childminder either.

Good for you-report back how it goes!

That's easier said than done when you need weekend childcare. In some areas this is non-existent as childminders tend to work Monday to Friday.

They would have to find some sort of babysitter or nanny that works weekends, and this often comes at a premium for all day care so could be far more than they earn in a day.

I find it genuinely fascinating how many of these comments have cropped up. I can only assume a lot of mumsnetters have always lived in cities/towns with decent public transport, and believe that is universal?

For a lot of us there is simply no public transport available that would get our kids to schools, even to their geographically closest schools.

I find it genuinely fascinating how many of these comments have cropped up. I can only assume a lot of mumsnetters have always lived in cities/towns with decent public transport, and believe that is universal?

For a lot of us there is simply no public transport available that would get our kids to schools, even to their geographically closest schools.

Yes, like her 16 year old niece! You have to put your hands in your pockets when you have kids

Agreed.

Agreed it is offensive to women everywhere! I have awful perimenopausal symptoms. I have to go to bed by 10pm to rest otherwise I’ll be ill the next day. It’s shocking how debilitating this can be for a woman.

100% not a card. I absolutely do not have the energy or capacity to fill my weekends with childcare now. Ignore the mysogonist women who are breezing through it. The best part is the capacity to say NO!

Obvious no to the sister. But why are you running a 14 & 16 year old to school? Get that time back too.

I didnt say it isnt a commitment. Could be another good option to explore - mutually beneficial.